12.19.2007

The Leftist Mind: The Moral High Ground

Next time some lefty says that al-Qaida has the "moral high ground" because the USA has water-boarded some of their leaders, show them this clip...



And then ask them: Is 30 seconds to 2 minutes of water-boarding on a known terrorist leader really worse than the hours, if not days, of agony and murder dispensed by the people who ran that house?

Don't forget to mention that the people tortured in this house weren't terrorists or even American agents. Just ordinary folk who just happened to end up on al Qaida's bad side.

And don't forget to carefully explain who ran this torture house (Islamic terrorists) and who shut it down (American soldiers).

And if they don't change their mind... tell them that calling them retarded would be an insult to the retarded.

12.16.2007

'Tis The Season For Holiday Idiocy!

Greetings puny Earthlings!

And a big fat MERRY CHRISTMAS from all of us at the MoxArgon Group.

That's right I said Merry Christmas.

Not Happy Holidays.

Because that term has been co-opted by the fascistic PC word police who every year try to stamp out the holidays religious origins as well as any fun and joy.

And this year is no different.

First some pseudo-feminists in Sydney Australia tried to ban mall Santas from saying 'Ho-Ho-Ho!'

Their reason: It may offend women.

So let me get this straight.

These so-called feminists, are saying that women are too stupid to discern the difference between Santa being jolly and a rapper being sexist?

That's taking a stand for the rights of women.

And on the celebrity front Barbra Walters was shocked and appalled that the annual White House Christmas card dared to have a religious message.

Her reason: It might offend non-Christians, atheists, and Muslims.

Now this is where you Earthlings lose me.

That's because I use something called logic, which you folks don't seem too keen on.

Barbra Walters assumes that all non-Christians, atheists, and Muslims are so twisted with hatred of Christianity and its followers that they would be offended by the simple act of a Christian wishing them well during one of their most important religious holidays.

WTF?

Now in the rest of the Universe we have a wide variety of people, and no one is offended by anyone wishing them well.

You see I'm a Catholic, but when TekTak wishes me a Happy Hannukah, I don't fly into an offended rage and file a lawsuit and a complaint with the Inhumanoid Rights Commission like Barbra Walters' friends. I wish him well right back, because even though our beliefs are different we still accept that the other person says that they want us to be happy at this time of year.

So what's the problem with a Christian wishing that a Jew, Muslim, Atheist, Hindu, Buddhist, Jain, Shinto, or Wiccan have a good time during their religious holiday. Any decent Christian wouldn't be offended by someone from another religion wishing them well according to their own traditions.

It's called good manners.

We're talking about a time of year that's supposed to be based on giving, happiness, and other warm fuzzy feelings, and anyone who is offended by that I can only say one thing...

MERRY XMAS!

...and keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

12.14.2007

REALITY CHECK!: Questions You Must Ask Yourself

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Remulak MoxArgon here, with some questions that I think you should ask yourself.

WHO DOES THE CIA REALLY WORK FOR?
It certainly isn't the US government. In fact they seem to be actively conspiring against the legally elected government of President George W. Bush, and no one seems to care.

WHY IS THE MEDIA HYPING HUCKABEE?

The man is Jimmy Carter without the apparent anti-Semitism. Why aren't conservative Republicans not in the least bit suspicious over the liberally-biased press giving a 'Huckaboom' to such a weak candidate who would crash and burn in a national election?

WHY DO HEDGE FUND BILLIONAIRES SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATS?
Hedge fund operators are the worst plutocrats in the world. They thrive on chaos and the failure of whole economies. Why isn't anyone asking why they all seem to be supporting the Democratic Party? Does anyone honestly believe they have the world's best interests at heart?

WHY WON'T AL GORE SHUT UP?
Even his most devoted acolytes are starting to balk at paying $3,000 a minute to listen to a multi-millionaire tell them to either give him money or be forced by UN edict to live like medieval surfs. And why is Al Gore so eager to give the corrupt and incompetent UN the right to tax America's carbon output? That's literally giving a basically incompetent criminal organisation the power to tax your right to breathe?

That's all for now keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

PS: My Earthling friend Furious D has some new posts about Hollywood at his pop-culture blog. I like to pimp the links on occasion.

12.12.2007

REALITY CHECK!: The 2 Way Street (Part 2)

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Time for another Reality Check.

Today we talk about tolerance.

Like the Geneva Convention Rights tolerance isn't something that's just handed to you by some magical Santa Claus type being in judicial robes.

It has to be earned.


You see tolerance is a two way street.

In order to receive tolerance, one must give tolerance.

I rule an empire consisting of over 100 trillion different sentient civilizations, each one of those civilizations have their own cultures, attitudes and languages. (Thank God 99.9% of those languages are almost identical to what you call English, but that's another story)

Now there are over 100 trillion reasons for these civilizations to be at each others throat. But they are, for the most part, accepting of each other and their ways

This is what I call 'earned tolerance.' That's where the essential element that every being possesses (what you smugly call 'humanity') is recognized by sharing the same daily struggles for survival against the elements, the economy, and the android hordes that everyone else deals with.

America was built on the foundation of earned tolerance, and despite the claims of smug Euro-trash, the USA is the least racist nation on Earth. (It's not perfect, but I'll get to that later)

Europe claims to be more tolerant because it kneels before the altar of 'multi-culturalism' or what is more accurately called 'enforced tolerance' by the rest of the universe.

Enforced tolerance is where instead of recognizing what's shared, exacerbates the differences. It claims to bring togetherness, but instead creates a state of politically correct apartheid. Ethnic enclaves, or to be more accurate, ghettos, are created, to keep people in some sort of cultural stasis.

Any attempt to become a part of the larger community is shut down, not only by the state, but by self-appointed 'community leaders' who only seek to maintain the isolation under the guise of protecting culture when all they care about is protecting their own power.

And since there's no such thing as perfect stasis, so the culture begins to rot from the inside. Divisions grow, what's shared is forgotten, or suppressed outright, poverty, crime, and abuse run rampant, and hatred of themselves and the larger community that excludes them grows.

All you need to do is look at the burning ghettos of Paris, and the increasingly radical and violent politics occurring all over Europe's 'ethnic enclaves' to see it.

You don't even have to be an immigrant to be part of it. Belgium, yes tiny little Belgium, is currently tearing itself apart, because instead of trying to forge a uniquely Belgian identity between the Flemish and the Walloons they played a game of 'King of the Hill' with the two main groups working to exclude the other out of economic prosperity and political power.

And this PC apartheid of 'enforced tolerance' has affected swaths of the USA. Look at your African-American urban ghettos, where 'community activists' seek to keep their own people in a state of poverty and despair, by actively denying them the means of fully joining the larger culture in the name of 'preserving their cultural identity.'

When you fuse cultures, nobody loses anything, but everybody wins everything.

That's the main reason America became so rich, powerful, and politically stable. A politician demanding ethnic separatism in America would get laughed off the podium, in Europe, he could become a major political force.

Also, enforced tolerance is by its very nature unfair.

It divides people into two classes, victim and perpetrator, and never the twain shall meet. Which is interesting for people who claim to believe in nuance to have such a Manichean black/white view of the world.

The members of the larger, earned culture, are always viewed as the villain, and anyone outside that culture is automatically the innocent victim.

This leads to human rights commissions in Canada being asked to stifle free speech because it offends political radicals who openly desire to destroy the larger culture.

It leads to Islamic soccer teams whining about crosses on Italian soccer uniforms because they remind them of the Crusades.

You don't hear Italian soccer teams demanding that the Islamic teams strip all imagery that might be interpreted as Islamic because of the memory of the hundreds of thousands of people who have been murdered in the name of Islam.

That would be intolerant.

But enforced tolerance is inherently intolerant toward the majority and its values. It's not really tolerance, but a supremacist movement for anyone who stands against everyone living together in peace.

Enforced tolerance is a recipe for destruction.

To survive, all the trappings of enforced tolerance must be done away with. Tolerance, like culture, is a living thing, it has to grow naturally, and trying to carve it up and hand it out, only serves to kill it.

That's all for now, keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

12.11.2007

REALITY CHECK!: The 2 Way Street (Part 1)

There's a lot of talk lately about water-boarding, torture, and whether or not Al Qaida terrorists should have the full rights of US citizens.

Now I'm not going to talk about Democratic Senators giving the okay to water-boarding, and are now screaming as if it's the equivalent of a hundred Auschwitz's. Instead I'm going to explain what rights and privileges are granted to Al Qaida terrorists by the Geneva Convention.


None

Bupkis

Zip

Zero

Nada

You see there's a very simple concept that lies at the base of the Geneva Convention.

It's called the 2 way street.

To qualify for the protections of the Geneva Convention, you must first follow the Geneva Convention yourself.

Now how many people taken prisoner by Al Qaida have been treated as legal prisoners of war?

I'd ask them, but most of them have been beheaded.

Plus:

Al Qaida is not an army of a nation state.

It doesn't wear uniforms.

It hides its weapons.

It deliberately targets innocent civilians

and

Hides among civilians.

Several millennia of military tradition dictates that these people are not soldiers, due the rights of a POW, but mass murdering thugs who have stepped beyond the realm of civilization. When you step outside civilization and actively seek to destroy it, civilization owes you nothing.

You don't want to know what we do with terrorists in my Empire, otherwise known as THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE.

It's not like you'd be able to do it anyway.

You don't have Sarlaac pits on your planet.

Keep Watching The Skies, Because We're Watching You.

12.09.2007

You Might Be a Dictator...

Hello Earthlings, Tektak F. Mechanoid here!

A happy belated Hanukkah to all my family, to most of my goy friends a preemptive Merry Christmas, and to all you atheists out there: ___________________.

Now there's a lot of talk about just who is a dictator and who isn't on your planet. So I've taken a break from my cameo appearance in the Family Units Xmas special to give you folks a few signs that you might be a dictator.

1. If Sean Penn comes to visit you...

...you might be a dictator.

2. If you hang people not for what they've done, but for what they are...

...you might be a dictator.

3. When you talk about genocide as a positive thing...

...you might be a dictator.

4. When you hear about water-boarding, and the first thing that comes to your mind is: "Wussies..."
...you might be a dictator.

5. When your idea of reform is to drive your nation back a few decades, if not centuries...
...you might be a dictator.

6. When you have journalists killed instead of being pwned by bloggers...

...you might be a dictator.

7. When Democrats think you need aid money...

...you might be a dictator.

8. When you like to label everything "People's" this and "Socialist" that...

...you might be a dictator.

9. When the CIA wants you to stay in power...

...you might be a dictator.

10. When your answer to everything is "kill'em"...

...you might be a dictator.

11. When you screw up, instead of taking responsibility, you blame the Jooos....

...you might be a dictator.

And to answer the question that's on all your puny little minds... Remulak did not score on this test. He's more of a tyrant than a dictator.

I'm due back on set, so all you Earthlings keep watching the skies and stay on point.

12.07.2007

REALITY CHECK!: Estimating Intelligence....

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Remulak MoxArgon here, and it's time for me to dish out a steaming bowlful of reality to you simple, silly creatures.

There's been a lot of hoopla in the press lately about a recent National Intelligence Estimate that declared that Iran gave up on its nuclear program in 2003.

And once he got over the surprise Ahmadinejad declared the report a great victory and had a homosexual hanged in celebration.

The MSM is also all over this NIE like stink on Snotglob, declaring it as important as the 6th Gospel of Tarvak the Converter.

Which is interesting, because this same media declared the NIE to be worthless because it agreed with the rest of the world about Saddam's WMD program.

Now why would the MSM suddenly turn from one point of view on the issue of the NIE to the exact opposite overnight.

Because it tells them what they want to hear.

The MSM, and the average Leftist Mind, believe in a vast over-arching meta-narrative that guides all of their opinions. This narratives declare all white people to be racists, all Christians to be radical zealots that are worse than Osama Bin Ladin, and that America is a bloodthirsty monstrosity of a nation that needlessly abuses and torments poor innocent dictatorships. (Meta-narrative is intellectual-speak for prejudice)

Tell them what they want to hear and they will believe anything you say.

Tell them the moon is made out of green cheese and make it somehow George Bush's fault, and they will believe you.

That's why they slavishly hang of every word of a Hugo Chavez, and Ahmadinejad as the unvarnished truth, while declaring anyone stating simple facts that don't fit their prejudice as a liar or someone who will 'Betray Us.'

So here's a little sobering fact, a reality check, if you will, to tell you just how accurate the precious NIE really is.

At various times the NIE said that there were no nuclear programs in...

INDIA
(it's got the A-bomb)

PAKISTAN
(it's got the A-bomb)

ISRAEL
(it's got the A-bomb)

NORTH KOREA
(it's working on the A-bomb)

LIBYA
(it only quit for fear of a US attack after the fall of Saddam)

That's all, keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

12.04.2007

NEWS OF THE EARTH #13: The Crazy Edition

Hello Earthlings.

Tektak F. Mechanoid here with NEWS OF THE EARTH!

Let's get rolling!

DATELINE: NEW HAMPSHIRE: A hostage situation at a Hillary Clinton campaign office ended peacefully last week. Police were initially slow to respond though because when they heard that a man with a history of erratic and crazy behaviour was in the Clinton office, they just thought John Murtha had come for a visit.

DATELINE: NEW HAMPSHIRE: In related Clinton news,
Hillary's husband Bill Clinton complained the media wasn't paying enough attention to her record. The media was confused, since that was what the Clinton campaign wanted them to do in the first place.
DATELINE: IOWA: It looks like Hillary's operatives attempt to attack Obama via his kindergarten and elementary school work has backfired, revealing her to be petty and treacherous. Which by the way is her real record.

DATELINE: LONDON: Gillian Gibbons, the teacher who was arrested, jailed and threatened with death for allowing children to name a Teddy Bear Mohammed is back in England. It reminds me a beloved song from my childhood as a little cyborg...


If you go into Sudan today

Your heart will fill with dread
If you go into Sudan today
You might just lose your head

Because on the sands

With blood on their hands
Every nut that ever was
Will be there because
Today's the day the Teddy Bears

Have their Jihad!


DATELINE: WASHINGTON: The most recent National Intelligence Estimate shocked the world when it contradicted common belief by declaring that Iran ended their Atomic bomb program in 2003. Judging by the past performance of other NIEs, this can only mean one thing. IRAN IS DEVELOPING NUCLEAR WEAPONS!

DATELINE: CARACAS: Hugo Chavez was stung by losing referendums that would have made him absolute dictator for life. Yet another case where celebrity endorsement only work to prove that celebrities should lose their right to endorse.

That's all for now, keep watching the skies and all that...

12.01.2007

Reality Check!: A Modest Proposal for the Teddy Bear Problem

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Remulak MoxArgon here, and I'd like to take a moment to talk about that whole Gillian Gibbons- Mohammed the Teddy Bear controversy.

It appears that Ms. Gibbons has been sentenced to 15 days in prison, then deportation for the egregious crime of allowing seven year old children to name a bear after their favourite prophet. That is if the government can protect her instead of tossing her to the usual Islamic mob screaming for blood, death, and horror for this offense.

Now some folks have criticized Gibbons for not being 'sensitive' to Islamic sensibilities, and that deep down it's really all her fault and not the fault of the bloodthirsty mob waiting to hack her to pieces in the name of Allah.

Those folks are wrong.

Do you know whose fault this really is?

It's all the children's fault.

That's right.

It was their idea to name the bear Mohammed, knowing full well that anything named after the prophet that can't be associated with mass murder is an offense that must be punished with torture and death.

Poor Ms. Gibbons probably had that silly Christian assumption that if children wanted to name a bear Jesus, it was a cutesy innocent form of expressing their love for Jesus.

She couldn't see the trap the Sudanese children had set for her. She didn't know that innocent love has no place in Wahabi Islam.

So here's my modest proposal to end this situation.

As penance for allowing the children to trap her into blasphemy, Ms. Gibbons must murder all the children.


It's the only way to properly restore the honour of the prophet.
If it's blood he demands, then he should get the blood of the people whose idea it was to dishonour him.

So Sudan, quit hanging around the prison waving your scimitars and let the woman give a properly Wahabi Islamic solution to a uniquely Wahabi Islamic problem.

It is all the children's fault, cut their heads off.

11.27.2007

The Leftist Mind: Standards, Double and Otherwise...

Author Stephen King recently suggested in Time Magazine that Jenna Bush be water-boarded. The reason stating that it is the only way he would accept that water-boarding is not the equivalent of electrodes to the genitals.

Thanks for that Stephen, I'm sure it will get you invited to the next Hillary Clinton fund-raiser and land you a seat next to the alcohol preserved corpse of Norman Mailer, but it says more than it intended.

You remember all the fuss over Monica Lewinsky and her antics with Bill the Husband of Hillary.

Well, how do you think the press would react if a Republican demanded that Chelsea Clinton be forced to perform fellatio on her boss, and then stick a cigar where cigars are not meant to go, just to prove that Miss Lewinsky wasn't engaged in degrading sexual relations with an older authority figure?

They would shit kittens and call that person a pervert and a freak who should be cast into the outer darkness for bullying a defenseless young woman because of her father's politics.

Yet Stephen King calls for the water-boarding of a young woman, and he will no doubt be praised by those same people for "speaking truth to power."

And look at when Jenna got caught sneaking into bars before her 21st birthday. She sneaks a few underage beers and suddenly she's the sign of America's total collapse at the hands of her Hitlerian father and subjected to scorn and ridicule that still go on, despite the incidents being years ago.

Yet Al Gore III drives like a maniac, stoned out of his mind on illegal pot and prescription meds, and these same media figures who screamed how Bush should be punished for Jenna having a beer, are demanding that Al Gore II be drafted as President.

Was this double standard because little Al's antics, though potentially lethal for innocent bystanders, were done in a carbon sensitive Prius?

Nope.

It's simply because Jenna's father is a Republican president.

And it's not just the media who practice strange and erratic double standards.

Look at the political left that's the Democratic Party's base.

They compare people opposed to churches being forced to perform same-sex weddings to Nazis.

Yet these same people are offended when someone uses the term fascist to describe those who imprison, torture and hang homosexuals.

Oooookay.

And let's look at this strange moral inversion created by double standards which is glaringly obvious in the Muslim world.

Saudi Arabia is planning to dish out 200 lashes to a rape victim, for being raped.

This same country recently released 1,500 members of Al Qaida, for 'counseling.'

That's right, get raped, get whipped.

Murder, or help someone murder others, and you'll get a nice talking to, that will cure you of your urge to kill.

Ooookay.

And look at a recent story from Sudan.

Islamic authorities have arrested a British teacher and is threatening her with flogging and imprisonment for the crime of naming a teddy bear Muhammad.

And yet it doesn't bother them in the least that when reading a list of recent mass murderers, and terrorists variations of the name Muhammad keep popping up over and over again.

Cuddly Gentle Teddy Bear= Blasphemy

Mass Slaughter= Heroic Praise

So let me get to my point.

Having a double standard means you have no standards at all.

In fact, it marks a definite lack of moral and intellectual courage. Especially when these same people who practice double standards aim the bulk of their venom on those who will most likely not respond with violence.

King is basically praising himself for being so courageous about attacking someone verbally knowing full well that he won't be attacked physically in response.

That's why Saudi law and order is eager to whip a defenseless young woman, but too chicken shit to dispense real justice to murderers. She will probably never kill anyone, but the terrorists are willing to plant some bombs to get their way.

And it's also why terrorists blow up markets, mosques, and office buildings by using demented suicide bombers, or remote controlled IEDs. Because they know they can't hack it in a fair fight against a trained and experienced enemy.

If anyone on the left had any real standards they'd stand up to Islamofascism alongside the right.

But since the average leftist is basically defenseless and a coward, they're a perfect target for terrorism. Hence their 'give them what they want' attitude.

And if terrorists had any real standards... well, they wouldn't be terrorists at all.

11.25.2007

News of the Earth #12: The Sterile Edition

Howdy Earthlings!

It's your buddy Xran here with another edition of NEWS OF THE EARTH!

Let's get the ball rolling!

DATELINE- ENGLAND: A British woman caused a bit of a stir when she said that she had an abortion and was sterilized because baby's little feet leave too big a carbon footprint. This is the next step in the de-evolution of the green movement, which used to be about 'saving the Earth for future generations' to 'killing future generations to save the Earth.'

Congratulations Al Gore, your Church of Gaia is now officially a suicide cult.

I'm willing to bet Rigellian Dolpaks to donuts that Al Gore is currently lobbying the Democrats in congress for a bill to force people to buy millions of his bogus carbon offsets or face sterilization or state mandated abortion.

It's the ultimate money maker.

DATELINE- CANTERBURY ENGLAND: The Archbishop of Canterbury said the USA is worse than Britain in its imperialist heyday. This statement, to a Muslim magazine achieved 2 things. It exposed the Archbishop's complete ignorance of history, and it won the Archbishop one day when a Muslim isn't plotting to cut his throat.

DATELINE- CALIFORNIA: Malibu is burning again. Which says something about building multi-million dollar homes on top of tinder dry brush-wood.

DATELINE- ANNAPOLIS MARYLAND: Syria says that they will attend the Annapolis Middle East peace summit. They give their reason as free food, and loads of aid for signing a treaty they have no intention of honouring.

11.24.2007

Laying Down The Law Part 3: The Earthlings Speak


Greetings puny Earthlings. It's you future Lord and Master Remulak MoxArgon here, and I've been going through your suggestions for laws to be enacted when I bring your wretched little marble of a planet to heel.

So let's see what your puny little Earthling brains have come up with.
Fuloydo said...

What have you got to deal with frivolous lawsuits?

I'm thinking an extra time in the slammer for convicts trying to game the system, assuming they are trying to game the system and it's not a legitimate complaint.

For people not in jail....perhaps having to pay a minimum of 10% of what they were asking for to the people they tried to sue if they lose? Plus another 10% levied against the lawyer who took their case?
We have a very simple system in my empire, which is called the Known Universe. If a person files a lawsuit in good faith, because they honestly feel that they have been wronged, but the suit is found wanting, they may have to pay a portion of the defendant's legal fees if necessary.

If the suit is filed in bad faith, solely for the impoverishment of the
defendant through a barrage of legal fees, they have to pay all of the defendant's legal bills, and then have the choice of being forced out an airlock or face the deadly Rancor in open combat armed only with a rubber band.

Only a fellow named McGyver escaped the Rancor.

Clever little bastard!

Next up is..
Smilin' Joe Fission said...

One out of every 5th person getting a welfare check is to be lined up and shot in the street as an incentive to get off of welfare.

Include WIC with it.

9 out of every 10 liberals taken care of the same way.
Oh primitive ignorant Earthlings.

You don't need to shoot anyone to inspire people to get off welfare.

Not when you have mind controlling brain-slugs to do it for you.

And I assume WIC is some local form of injury compensation on your planet, I can tell you that we don't have that at all. When you have android doctors capable of replacing limbs and organs, and restoring the horribly mangled to perfect health within 24 Earth hours, it's really not necessary.

And I shot 9 out of 10 liberals who will work in the mucus mines?

Have you thought of that?

I don't think you did.

Next up...
RememberSekhmet said...

IQ tests for computer ownership, to be administered by comptetent, experienced tech support.
I hope spelling isn't included in the test, because your spelling of competent would condemn you to using a Commodore 64.
Public flaying for all losers who try to impersonate veterans. Followed by a lemon-juice bath if above impersonation was done to defame actual troops.
So, you believe in being soft on phony veterans. We normally just put them in stocks installed beneath the public lavatories at our monthly chili cook-off.

Oh the screams coming from those holes after TekTak's Kosher Napalm Chili would scare the horns off Deimonas of Atreyu.
Sheriff Joe Arpaio is appointed to head the prison system.
We're in contract negotiations with him, how did you guess?
Wyatt Earp said...

Would you consider hood-mounted plasma rifles for slow drivers ahead of you?
I have mine installed behind the headlights of my limo-transport. It only disintegrates the car, leaving the driver and passengers intact, so I can run them over as a lesson in good road etiquette. Though I don't think you Earthlings have the cranial capacity to use such tools wisely.

For now, you will only be permitted sonic disruptors, set to the 'brown note.'
Random Walker said...

The name Ron Paul will not be included in any political pool with the exception of the contest for the “Biggest Douche of the Universe”
Actually, he's only the 17th Biggest Douche in the Universe, behind Zeldar The Biggest Douchebag in the Universe, Odorios the Lesser Douche of Nehama IV and Al Gore.
Gnome Chimpski, Al Gorebot and Michael Mooron can no longer be cited as authorities on any topic (other than how to be a braking moonbat).
I don't know, my seers see them becoming quite expert on the topic of mucus mining in the near future.
Failure to obey above laws will result in the offender being fed to Michael Mooron (if Michael Mooron disobeys he will not be fed).
He's going to be too busy shoveling mucus to eat anyone. But good suggestions nonetheless.
Hippies will be washed. Survivors will be washed again, All we are saying is: “give soap a chance”
Cleanliness in the mucus mines will be strictly enforced. With caustic soap and wire brushes for the really recalcitrant ones.
Moonbat, traitor saboteurs who drop their babies while protesting will themselves be dropped… from the outer orbit.
Good idea, the orbital mucus haulers could use exterior ballast when they do a re-entry, and their children can definitely use new parents.
Those who demand income redistribution will see their income redistributed.
It won't be much, since mucus mine labour is paid mostly with food scraps, but we can try it as a social experiment.
Chicopanther

I think you should also sentence spammers, phishers, and malware authors to only being able to use computers that have been rendered unusable because of their own garbage!
You Earthlings, so innocent and naive.

You're assuming that I'm going to let them live in any form where they'd be capable of computer use.
Damian G. said...

Please, please, for the love of God, make FOX News stop playing crap "news" stories about Britney, O.J. and the latest pretty white girl to go missing.

You've already vaporised Greta Van Susteren for her insolence on the matter; could you please make the rest of the network follow suit?
I own shares, and the audience seems to like the occasional dose of crappy faux news as long as it involves blonde hair, boobs and faux celebrities, who are also boobs.

Yes, I'm a bastard.

And finally this rather cryptic message from an Earthling...
Your Jewish Master said...

You probably already know that the Jews run things down here. Now, the Ron Paul supporters have been doing their best to expose our Zionist Conspiracy and New World Order, but have been able to keep close track, and eliminate the squeekiest wheels.

But my office did not receive any memo, let alone tribute from the Moxargons. And I must say, I am shocked. You know you face great annoyance when you get here, due to the aforementioned Zionist Conspiracy and New World Order. Just ask the Ron Paulians. So do the right thing, no-nose!

For now, you will be entered into the Blogroll for further investigation.
Hmmm....

This Hebraic Hegemonist seems to think that I should be paying tribute to him....

Someone's off their meds.

I run THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, which is also known as ALL OF THE UNIVERSE, except the primitive little armpit worlds like your planet that I leave free for my amusement.

You're so primitive you probably don't even know that when you reach one end of the Universe, you enter the other end once you get past the Great Taffy Barrier.

Besides, I don't do the tribute thing. It's inefficient and wasteful. I have a flat tax of 15% on gross income and corporate revenue. You'd be surprised at how well that works.

Well, it's been a good laugh seeing how your puny minds work, but I've got some other things to do, like...

LINK PIMPING!


So keep watching the skies, because we're watching you!