7.05.2007

XRAN XPLAINS- THE CONRAD BLACK TRIAL

Hello Earthlings!

It's your pal Xran here. Once again I'm taking a moment to simplify things that have been complicated by the simple.

The trial of Canadian newspaper baron and real English Lord, Conrad Black has just wrapped and gone to the jury after 3 months of testimony.

3 months?

I can explain the whole thing to you in one blog post.


So sit back, relax, and grab yourself a bag of chips and a cola and let Uncle Xran explain the whole thing....

This is Conrad Black
This is Conrad Black's ex-partner
David Radler
They owned Toronto based Hollinger Inc.
(AKA: H-Inc.)
And were major shareholders and chief executives
of Chicago based
Hollinger International
(AKA: H-International)
Both companies owned
NEWSPAPERS
all over the world


Then they
sold
a lot of those newspapers

Which made
the shareholders in H-International
BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN PROFITS

The people who bought the newspapers also paid
Conrad Black
&
David Radler

$60,000,000

soToronto's H-Inc.
Didn't open rival newspapers in their areas


But one major shareholder:
investment firm

TWEEDY BROWN
Thought they deserved the non-compete fees
because they owned a lot of
H-International stock

Sure
Tweedy Brown
didn't know anything about running newspapers

but that's not important


They demanded that
H-International Investors

Hire
Richard Breeden

To look at how
H-International was being run by

Black
&
Radler

Richard Breeden ACCUSED
Black & Radler
of
stealing
$600,000,000
from
H-International
and had the
H-International shareholders
force
Black & Radler out the door

Then the amount stolen became

$400,000,000

Then it became

$200,000,000

Then it became

$0
stolen

But
Richard Breeden
had charged
$200,000,000+
in fees
to find
nothing
and Tweedy Brown's
hand-picked management team
that was supposed to save
crashedinto the ground
LOSING 75%
of its stock value

The H-International Shareholders
were starting to lose money and look stupid

They had to do something to deflect from their own greed and idiocy

So they declared that the
$60,000,000
Non-compete fee paid to
Black
&
Radler

Really belonged to
H-International

And the
H-International shareholders
who drove it to the brink of total collapse

Instead of
Conrad Black
&
David Radler
Who knew how to run a profitable newspaper company


But the non-compete fees were legal and approved by
H-International's Board of Directors
and by
H-International's Shareholders

They needed an expert in convicting people for crimes
that didn't happen
and
letting the guilty go free
They found
US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald
of Chicago
He indicted
Black
&
Radler
for racketeering and fraud
But he had no real evidence
Then his staff found out that
$2,000,000
of
H-International's
money from the sale of a trucking magazine
had gone straight into the pocket of
David Radler
Finally, they had a crime.
One that could score Radler 5 years in jail
But
Radler
wasn't famous
And
Fitzergerald
was not going to become a
Governor
or
Senator
convicting unknowns

But
Black
was
rich
foreign
famous
pompous
and a
Lord to boot
So
Radler made a deal
He'd accuse
Black
of stealing the legal non-compete fees
in exchange for
Radler
not being charged for the crime he did commit
and
doing short time in a Canadian country club jail
for the crime that didn't happen

Members of the
H-International Board of Directors
testified against
Black
as well
Because
US Attorney Fitzgerald
threatened to indict them too if they didn't cooperate
effectively forcing them off all corporate boards

So
Black was sent to trial

Prosecution strategy
CLASS WAR

Black
must be
GUILTY
because he is
Rich
Famous
Pompous
A British Lord
Foreign (Canadian)
&
Lived a very swanky lifestyle

Defense Strategy
Black
must be
INNOCENT
because
Radler
H-International Investors
H-International's Board of Directors
Richard Breeden
&
Tweedy Brown

are a pack of greedy liars who stole
H-International
from
the man
who built it from scratch
and then nearly destroyed
through
greed and incompetence

Now the jury is deliberating, and the fate of Conrad Black and his co-defendants hangs on their decision.

If convicted
Black faces over
100 years in prison

If acquitted
Well, let's just say that some clowns are gonna have to pay big time

I hope that clears things up for you.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

My head hurts.

RT said...

WOW! Yeah, lawyers in public settings are in it for the politics.

Canadian = foreign? I swear when I read "to boot," it was with a Canadian accent.

Sekhmet said...

Patrick Fitzgerald: The bad penny of political prosecutions.