Reality Check: Egypt

Greeting puny Earthlings.

Time to take a moment to cash a reality check.

Right now the ancient land of the Pharaohs is in turmoil. Dictator, (that's what he is despite what Joe Biden says) Hosni Mubarak is too old, sick, and incompetent to keep the power that he's held onto for the past 30 years since the death of his predecessor Anwar Sadat. The people are rising up against his increasingly heavy handed in rule in the spirit of the recent overthrow of Tunisia's dictator.

Now while I normally support the ouster of dictators that are so stupid they can manage to still run their economy into the ground despite billions in annual foreign aid from the USA, there is a catch with this situation.

That catch is the Muslim Brotherhood.

Right now the opposition is dominated by factions calling for democracy and freedom and the Muslim Brotherhood is, for the most part, staying off the streets.

That's why Egyptians must be worried.

That's because the Brotherhood is waiting in the wings, letting the democratic factions take all the hits while they bide their time, marshal their forces, and when the time is right, they will strike and take over the Arab world's most populous and influential nation.

Then Egypt will be beyond screwed.

You think the Egyptian economy is bad now, think how bad it will be under the Brotherhood. The biggest source of foreign hard currency they have right now is tourism, will that industry keep going when the Brotherhood flattens the pyramids to build mosques, blow up ancient sites, drive out all archaeologists, and burn or smash the contents of their museums?

It won't.

They can also see an end to all that American aid that's kept the country from becoming a complete basket case.

The average Egyptian on the street might dislike the Yankee Imperialist Pig-Dog for propping up the Mubarak regime. However, they must remember that the Mubarak regime that was the only thing keeping Egypt in at least the 20th century, if not the 21st, and out of the 8th century that the Brotherhood wants.

My advice to the people that want to get rid of Mubarak:

Get rid of the Muslim Brotherhood first.

They are not your friends.

They are not in tune with the will of Allah, because if they were, why was Afghanistan, their model of a properly holy society, such a shit-hole.

All the Muslim Brotherhood wants is power, and they will spill gallons of your blood to get it.

So here's the plan.

Get rid of the Muslim Brotherhood.

Then get rid of Mubarak.

Then reform your government, economy, and even society, so Egypt can be more than a land with a lot of history, and transform it into a land with an actual future.

A Reality Check: Stick & Stones

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Words can kill.

It's true. In fact, if someone of my species says the word "feldspar" in just the right tone of voice, the heads of everyone within earshot will pop like zits.

However, things are different on your wretched little planet. You Earthlings love to talk and talk and talk, and you love to talk out of your asses as much as out of your mouths.

Lately you've been talking out of your asses about words. Take a look at these examples:

1. A publisher is releasing a bowdlerized version of Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn, eliminating the dread "N word" to get rid of the racism in a novel that was written as a statement against racism. Henceforth leaving the word for rappers the world over.

2. Canadian broadcast regulators have banned the original edit of Dire Straits' song "Money For Nothing" from radio for its use of the word "faggot." Suddenly giving radio stations an excuse to play the song after 25+ years.

3. The media and left-wing blogosphere rushed to shit kittens after the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords and the murder of 6 others blaming the "violent" "military" rhetoric of those pesky evil right wingers. It later turned out that the only rhetoric spurring that sick bastard on was the stuff being spoken in his head. That didn't matter, the left manufactured their version of events, and it will no doubt be cited whenever the case is referenced from now till doomsday.

Anyway, back to my point.

These three cases of either censorship, attempted censorship, or outright libel in an attempt to stifle free speech are all done in the name of saving lives. Those who lash out over words say that people hear or read these words, and that these words make them act violently towards their fellow man.

Well, here are some words for you: That's a lot of bullshit.

You see the words that "kill" the most are not rude names, or "violent" imagery. The deadliest words are the ones that claim that they are acting solely in the best interests of making the world a better place.

The history of the 20th-21st centuries are rife with obvious cases of dictators promising socialist/communist/Islamic utopias to motivate their followers to engage in mass slaughter, but I'd like to take a moment to discuss the lesser known moments when words coming out of the mouths of seemingly well meaning people have led to death and destruction.

This is Rachel Carson.

Her words have killed millions of people all over the world.

Did she used racist or homophobic language or so-called violent rhetoric?

Nope.

She wrote a book called Silent Spring which blamed the pesticide DDT for everything from cancer, thinning egg shells on bald eagles, to possibly the great fire of Rome, and practically invented the field of hysterical environmentalism that dominates academia, media and government today.

As it turned out, studies showed reduced rates of cancer among people exposed to DDT, the eagle egg problem came from the improper use of DDT as an agricultural pesticide, and not for the killing of malarial mosquitoes in stagnant ponds as it was designed for.

Yet her campaign against the chemical led to it being banned all over the world.

And millions of people in tropical nations died and continue to die from malaria every year.

Also the movement she helped spawn has helped hinder research into not just chemicals, but also medicine, and the use of resources that could have lifted millions out of poverty and suffering.

But she meant well, and I guess that's enough, because to the left, she's a saint.

Then there's Jenny McCarthy.

She meant well when she started a campaign to blame her son's autism on vaccines, based on a study that has now been exposed as a massive fraud and a hoax.

However, her campaign, and her response that anyone who dared question the study, or her assertions, were somehow in the pay of a sinister "vaccine lobby" led to who knows how many parents skipping vaccines for their children. What we do know is that your planet, especially North America saw an upshot in preventable diseases among children.

It may take years before you figure out how many of these children died because of their parent's desire to believe a minor celebrity conspiracy-theorizing about a barely understood field of medicine over rational scientific procedure, but I can tell you something you can bet dollars to zlotnorx on:

I believe that more people have died because of the rhetoric of Jenny McCarthy than have died because of the rhetoric of Sarah Palin.

Face it, a small percentage will believe anything that someone on TV tells them. 15% of people surveyed actually believed that Loughner dickweed was acting on orders from the Tea Party, a percentage believe that Dick Cheney blew up New Orleans' levees, and that the Jews working at the World Trade Center got phone calls to not go to work on 9.11. 2001.

There will always be people who will believe any shit that gets stuck in their ears, and when these people get into positions of power in government, academia, and the media, they can do a hell of a lot of damage with their so-called good intentioned words.

Way more damage than anyone can do with a rude name.

Keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED!!

Hi, I'm Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik, coming to you live from the source of all hatred and bigotry, the state of Arizona, and I'm the new host of....

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED

I know you were expecting that John Walsh fella, but he was arrested this morning in Pima County on charges of wearing a leather jacket without a license. And since no one else on the crew wanted to join him, I'm your new host. Let's get talking about crime....

This here critter is--

Jared Lee Loughner...

He is crazier than a bedbug on meth, and he killed a bunch of people and tried to kill many more, including a Democratic congresswoman.

That can only mean one thing.

That someone else is really behind this here crime.
Now I don't have any of that fancy pants "evidence" those fancy talking Republican fat cats like to toss around just to show off their book learning. I'm talking about the sort of gut instinct you find only in a progressive Democrat working in law enforcement, like Bull Connor.

I don't have any real witnesses or evidence, and I'm probably tainting the jury and making effective prosecution of Loughner impossible, but I sat down with my police sketch artist and had him whip me up a little drawing of the real guilty party. Prepare to look into the face of true evil--
This man is accused of using violent rhetoric that drove Mr. Loughner to kill a Republican judge, a nine year old child, and several others while trying to kill a Rep. Giffords.

Sure, any complete study of what he really says will show that despite paranoid tendencies, he does actually preach "non-violence," speak admiringly of foreigners and troublemakers like Gandhi and Martin Luther King jr, and that in the only recorded incidence of him mentioning Giffords that we could find he said nice things about her.... but that's not the case!

He dares to criticize the policies and leaders of the Democratic Party.

That means that he is wanted DEAD OR ALIVE!

Now this feller didn't act alone... No we have this photo taken from a VHS tape made by my deputy Buford of his partner in the sort of evil and hatred that only Republicans can engage in.
This varmint's wanted for putting target-gun-sight marks on electoral maps of Congressional districts where she wanted Republicans to win.
Now I don't have any proof that Loughner saw this map, or that it had any affect on his mind but I'm the Sheriff of Pima County...

I DON'T NEED ANY GODDAMN PROOF!!

The law is what I say it is. If I want to enforce it, I'll enforce it, if I don't want to enforce it, I won't enforce it, and if I want to make the law up straight from my ass--

I WILL MAKE UP THE DAMN LAW STRAIGHT FROM MY ASS!!

And I'll get convictions too, because I'm hiring--
Former Travis County Texas, Democratic District Attorney Ronnie Earle

This cat can indict a ham sandwich for starting the Chicago fire. In fact, I do believe that he did once indict a ham sandwich for feeding a Republican. And he can get convictions even when there wasn't a goddamn crime! Just ask Tom Delay!!
That's why we need you to find these people and bring me their carcasses, you can tar and feather them if you want, but they still have to be recognizable for my photo-ops, and for Bernie Sanders fund-raising brochures!

So I'll leave you with this one thought--
It don't matter what that mamby-bamby constitution thing says, it's like 100 years old and don't matter no more. Free speech isn't a right, it's a privilege, and if you want to speak free, you have to make sure you speak stuff that makes folks like me happy or...

YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL!

Reality Check: Arizona

I just saw the reports coming from Arizona about the mass shooting at a public appearance by Democratic Rep. Gabrielle Giffords by a man named Jared Loughner.

I'm not going to discuss the event itself. Right now the truth is buried in a flurry of conflicting reports and it could be days before we get anywhere near the real story, if it hasn't been already lost forever in a realm of urban myth.

What I am going to talk about is the rash of talk among the political left and its supporters calling for censorship of "inflammatory rhetoric" that they believe must be behind the shooting.

Here's a reality check:

WE DON'T KNOW WHY THE REAL REASON THIS GUY SHOT THOSE PEOPLE!

He could have been inflamed by political rhetoric, he could also have been inflamed by the voices in his head.

His motives may also not spring from alleged "incitements to violence" from the political right. His real target may have been the Republican appointed Federal Judge John Roll.

The point is WE DON'T KNOW.

WE MAY NEVER REALLY KNOW.

And I want those calling for censorship and regulation of "inflammatory speech" to ask themselves these questions:

What if this guy shot a Republican politician?

What if he was screaming "I did it all for you Keith Olbermann!" as the Secret Service took him down?

Would you still be demanding that free speech, the foundation of political liberty, be tossed out the window, or would you try to pawn it off as the work of a "lone nut," or still try to find a way to blame it on Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin?

If you had an ounce of honesty in yourself, you'd answer those questions, then you'd probably tone down your own rhetoric. Because those who demand censorship usually end up censored themselves in the end.