5.02.2011

Reality Checks & Retirement

Greetings puny Earthlings.

I know it's been pretty slow here on the ranch, and it's been getting harder and harder to get the guys together to do a panel, and I've been so busy with my empire, that I've decided to retire the MoxArgon Group as a regular blog.

It's been a good run and I figure I can't do better than retire this blog on a day more auspicious than the one marking the announcement of the death of Osama Bin Ladin.

So I will leave you with a few reality checks...

OSAMA BIN LADIN IS DEAD, ALAS...

Well, it's official, and confirmed by DNA that terrorist mastermind and de facto theological trendsetter for the Islamic world Osama Bin Ladin was killed outside Abbottabad Pakistan, by a Navy Seal team, and his carcass tossed into the sea, where it will soon be fish shit.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Like Saddam Hussein, his roommate in the third fissure on the left in Lucifer's asshole, Osama was someone who brought nothing but pain and suffering to the world. While it's not good to wish any sentient being harm, you really don't have any alternative with a walking tumor like old Osama.

Naturally, the Muslim world is going to shit some kittens over this. Expect lots of threats, the occasional riot, and terrorist attack, all in the name of avenging his death in the name of Allah.

Why would the Muslim world react that way to the death of a man who is responsible for the deaths and suffering of more Muslims than any foreign imperialist?

Because that's how the Islamic world reacts to everything. Sure the majority of Muslims just want to live their lives and stay out of trouble, but they have too many Osamas dominating their mosques, governments, and every other institution in their community. If any Muslims dares to break from this bloodthirsty orthodoxy and seek to live in peace with others all they can hope for is that their death is quick and relatively painless.

Sure, people see the current Arab Spring as a sign of hope for democracy in the Arab world, but that hope is mostly likely a pipe dream. All the hundreds of thousands of Osamas are too many, too organized, and too determined to force their co-religionists and hopefully the rest of the world into a world of shit and suffering.

The Muslim people of the world have to take this event as an excuse to look at the real causes of all their problems, and it ain't the Great Satan, or the Joos. Then maybe they might join the rest of the world in peace.

BARACK OBAMA IS REALLY AN AMERICAN, ALAS...

Charles Krauthammer was partially right when he called Donald Trump the "Republican Al Sharpton." Like Sharpton, Trump's a self-aggrandizing attention whore with mysterious hair. However, Sharpton has a definite political philosophy, based on self enrichment through racial grievance games and liberal guilt. Politically, Trump has more flip flops than every gift shop in Miami Beach.

The whole Birther nonsense is just that nonsense, engineered by the Obama machine. Need proof? Well ask yourself these questions:

1. Why didn't Obama release the long form birth certificate when Clinton operatives first brought up the issue during his campaign for the Democratic nomination?

2. Why did Obama's people spend hundreds of thousands of dollars fighting any and all legal claims by people wanting to see the birth certificate?

Well, the answer is simple.

OBAMA WANTED THE BIRTHERS TO RUN AROUND.

Simple politics. Now Obama can use Trump and the birthers to smear any and all Republicans as paranoid conspiracy nuts hiding in Jesse Ventura's basement.

Right now Obama is looking at falling polls, rising gas prices, inflation, and a stagnant job market eating into not only his golf time, but his re-election chances. If the Republicans run someone who appears reasonable, practical and decisive he's screwed.

So he needs to get a loudmouth asshole freak-show to run for the nomination, dominate the mainstream media coverage, and completely brand the party as the party of loudmouth asshole freak-shows whether he wins the nomination or not.

Enter Trump.

He's loud, obnoxious, and has a thinner skin than Obama himself, he's perfect for the job and the media's going to pimp him as the "front-runner" right to the Republican nomination, and after he loses, keep bringing him up as some sort of compadre to the winner of the nomination.

It's just simple politics.

So while this is goodbye for now Earthlings, I must advise that you keep watching the skies, because we will still be watching you.