REALITY CHECK: What You Get With Obama...

Greetings puny Earthlings.


Here's a simple, easy to follow list that will tell you what you will get with an Obama Presidency.

1. Higher taxes. No matter what he says, taxes will have to go up for everyone to pay for his promised entitlement programs.

2. The Chicago Machine goes national. Expect corruption on a massive scale as every radical, racist, and reprobate ally from Obama's past lines up to stick their head in the federal trough.

3. Government programs that spend lots, but achieve nothing, see #2 for the reason why.

4. Secretary of Education: William Ayers.

5. Hedge fund billionaires would profit hugely from the chaos Obama's economic policies would keep going through botched "redistribution" programs, corruption, and incompetence.

6. Every piss-ant dictator will pick a fight with America and their allies, and they will win. Expect Chavez to invade one or more of his neighbours, Iran to attack Iraq & Israel, etc... etc....

7. An end to free political speech. Talk radio, blogs, will all be taken away under the name of "fairness" with highly partisan political hacks and left wing radicals deciding what is fair. The mainstream media won't dare say a peep, for fear of Harry Reid taking away their broadcasting licenses.

8. An end to privacy for any critic of the Obama regime. If government officials in Ohio were willing to open the private and confidential records of Joe The Plumber as punishment for asking a question, what do you think he'll do once he has power and wants to keep it.

9. Voter fraud will achieve epic proportions. ACORN, flush with billions in federal handouts from the Obama regime will set itself the target of Obama's reelection. Then it will try to get a constitutional amendment to end Presidential term limits. Remember, Obama's a young man, politically speaking, and he, and most importantly, the people who own him, probably won't settle for his retirement from power by his mid-50s.

10. Your military will be stripped of all financing and technology. Obama will also pursue unilateral disarmament hoping his charm will woo Iran to stop nuking Israel, and stop Kim John Il from burning Seoul into ashes.

11. For the first time in history, the United States will have a government to the left of France. FRANCE!

So, with your nation, once the most powerful on your puny planet, will be left soft, helpless, and incapable to defend itself.

Which is why I'm endorsing....
Yep, thanks to Obama, my android hordes should be able to subjugate your world in about 5 minutes, instead of the predicted 10 minutes.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you..... and waiting for our moment to strike.


Reality Check: Crazy Ladies....

Greetings puny Earthlings.

This is the week of the crazy ladies, and their stories show just what a load of douchebags the mainstream media really are.

Crazy Lady #1: Crystal Mangum, best known as the woman who almost tore a city apart by making false accusations against three Duke University lacrosse players. Well, now she has a book out called "The Last Dance for Grace: The Crystal Mangum Story." I used to justify not prosecuting her alongside Durham county persecutor Mike Nifong that at least she had her mental and emotional issues as a defence, but now I see a craven attempt at profiteering from her attempt to destroy the lives of three innocent men, who, BTW, had ALIBIS. She's still declaring that she was assaulted, despite the lack of witnesses, physical evidence, and her own constantly changing story.

Now it does raise the questions:
Who the hell gave her a book deal?

What kind of sleazebag seeks to profit by exploiting a woman with her issues, and reopening old wounds?

I'm sure the lawyers for the parents of the Duke Lacrosse players know, and are preparing their actions accordingly.

Ladies and gentlemen of the bar, have at them. It's the only way they'll learn.

Crazy Lady #2: Ashley Todd, the Pittsburgh McCain campaign volunteer is getting all kinds of national press now that her story of being assaulted and carved by a rampaging Obama voter has turned out to be a hoax. I knew it was a hoax the moment I saw the legible letter "B" carved into her cheek.

How did I know?

Easy, get a marker, sneak up on someone on the street, and then pin them down and try to write your name on their face.

Guess what you'll get.

A couple of scribbles that in no way resemble any language outside the Dinarran Nebula, and an arrest on your record. You will not get a legible letter "B."

I don't know why, but a lot of people who instigate assault/rape hoaxes think that writing on people is something assaulters do, but there has never been a case of any legible writing being written, or carved on any living person without their consent. In fact, I'm surprised Miss Mangum didn't claim it.

Of course, she's all over the mainstream media, being used as a brush to paint all Republicans as like this sad, pathetic, deranged, and none too bright creature, meanwhile...
This hefty bag full of feces in New York--

--tore a McCain campaign sign out of a woman's hands and beat her with the stick, declaring he did it because he is a Democrat and a leftist who was angry at the woman's blatant expression of free speech.

That's the only picture I could find of the snivelling little piece of grabasstic amphibian diarrhoea, and the media won't even release his name, let alone give this, not uncommon, act of political violence any coverage remotely close to the triviality of one delusional and pathetic young woman.

Nutbag Ashley Todd will be on the news everyday until election day.

That's a fact.

And the cowardly little doughboy in New York will probably get off scot-free if he gets a Democrat prosecutor and a Democrat judge. Because he beat a Republican, and that's all right by their books.

Now here's a question every American voter must ask themselves:

If these tactics are what they will do to obtain power, what the hell will they do when they have that power and want to keep it?

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.



Greetings puny Earthlings.

Here's the cover of Obama's next book, which has already been written, and it will detail how he won the White House.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


The Following People Are Black

Greetings puny Earthlings.

The Barack Obama campaign, the arbiters of the English language, have declared that the word "socialist" is a code word for "black."

So in keeping with the belief that the media holds that everything Obama says is gospel truth, the following people, all self-proclaimed socialists, are now officially black.







And to think, all this time I thought they were Germans, Russians, White American, and Chinese, because they looked so German, Russian, White American and Chinese. If there's one thing Barack Obama's campaign has taught us it's that appearances, and historical records can be decieving. Just look at his claims of bipartisanship. Not a single instance of bipartisan action in his entire life, yet there he is heralded as the great uniter. You see, trust nothing of what you see.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


Reality Check: Plugging Up The Plumber

Greetings puny Earthlings.

The internet and media are abuzz about Joe The Plumber, a fellow who asked Obama a tough question, and wasn't impressed with the Chosen One's socialistic answer.

Well, the mainstream media are going after him hammer and tongs, declaring that his opinions are not valid because he doesn't have a valid plumber's license, owes back taxes, and was once seen sucker punching a wildebeest.

All I can say is.... SO FUCKING WHAT?

Joe the Plumber is not running for the Presidency.

Joe the Plumber is not trying to change the Supreme Court from a body based on the rule of law to a body based on empathy for the "disenfranchised."

Joe the Plumber did not give $800,000 + to a known radical group to stuff ballot boxes, a corrupt radical group he used to work for.

All Joe the Plumber did was ask a candidate a question, and disagree with the candidate's answer.

Now the media will do everything it can to destroy his life.

Now comes the reality check.

If this is what Obama and his allies do to someone who just questions them during their campaign, what will they do to their more prominent critics when they're in power?

He's already tried to get people criminally prosecuted for political speech, what will he do with the power of the Presidency behind his threats?

What will his empathetic judges do with these critics?

What will Nancy Pelosi do?

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

And watch your own backs while you're at it. You may only have a few weeks left.


The ACORN Doesn't Fall Too Far From The Tree

(former Head of Tammany Hall)

Hello there all you folks in the land of the living.

William Tweed here, and I'd like to thank Vox Poplar's digital ouija board for getting me a little time off my regularly evening gonad dip into boiling pitch to talk to you.

Now there are some of you, mostly folks who haven't seen the movie Gangs of New York, aren't really familiar with my story, so I'll take a minute to explain. Back in the old days, when I was still living, I was the head of the Tammany Society, and the Tammany Society ran the Democratic Party in New York, and heavily influenced the party nationwide.

We stayed in power by fixing elections. Plain and simple.

You see, I'd get jobs for a lot of poor Irishmen, then not only would they vote for the candidates I backed, they would vote early, and often.

One of my favourite tricks was to have a chap vote with a full beard at 9:00 AM, to shave it down to a goatee and vote again at 10:00 AM, then again with a moustache at 11:00 AM, and once again completely clean shaven at noon.

But I must say that it's nothing compared to that young fellow Barack Obama and his friends at ACORN are doing. They show that while I may be dead, and my soul forced to dwell in a realm offering a daily ass-reaming with a flaming iron pineapple, my spirit lives on in those chaps.

First ACORN not only gets the government to pay them millions of dollars every year, under the guise of activism, they also get private foundations and corporations to give them millions, for fear of being called "racist." They then spend that money to get their political supporters elected, by hook, crook, and bogus ballot, and run one of the largest voter fraud schemes the world has ever seen.

When it comes to corruption, they have me outdone. Gentlemen, I'd tip my hat to you, but a demon ate it.

However, there's an onion in the ointment, if you'll pardon my vernacular. You see, the group takes in millions, tens of millions of dollars a year from all over the country from allies, donations, and corporate extortion, and around the world, yet all they seem capable of doing is engineering voter fraud. Not one of their "activism" programs has every actually achieved anything.

Tsk, tsk.

I was able to stay on top for over twenty years because I knew what side of bread was buttered. I at least got people jobs, built businesses, and left behind a few things, real, concrete things, that people use to this day.

ACORN creates nothing but corruption.

And that's just balderdash.



I just landed an exclusive scoop, a genuine "Action Alert" from the Obama Campaign to Obama supporters.


The following things are hereby declared to be RACIST...

1. Bringing up that all of The One's friends, mentors, and associates are racists, violent radicals, and corrupt felons is RACIST.

2. Mentioning that The One didn't produce any work of legal scholarship while president of the Harvard Law Review is RACIST.

3. Mentioning The One's term on the Chicago Annenberg Challenge produced nothing but cash for radical left-wing causes while doing nothing for Chicago's schools is RACIST.

4. Mentioning The One's lack of experience in anything remotely affective is RACIST.

5. Bringing up The One's connections to ACORN as an attorney and organizer is RACIST.

6. Complaining about The One's use of the race card to shame people into voting for him is RACIST.

7. Mentioning The One's lack of knowledge and experience with the world outside academia and politics is RACIST.

8. Voting for McCain or anyone other than The One is RACIST.

9. Mentioning The One's snobbish elitism toward just about all Americans is RACIST.

10. Discussing Joe Biden's frequent verbal gaffes and raging egomania is RACIST.

That is all for now.
Wow, I guess everyone's a racist.


Whatcha Gonna Get, A Reality Check...

Greetings puny Earthlings, I think it's time to make a list of what America, and the world will get if ACORN gets its way and Barack Obama gets elected president. So let's get started:

1. The end of free speech under the aegis of the "Fairness Doctrine." Goodbye talk radio, goodbye blogs, goodbye Fox News, and goodbye to anyone asking tough questions.

2. The criminal prosecution of political critics by the Obama administration. Don't believe me? Then ask what the St. Louis MO prosecutors are threatening to do.

3. An end to secret ballots for union elections, bringing back thuggery and intimidation on a scale not seen since the death of Jimmy Hoffa.

4. Chicago style machine politics going on a national scale.

5. Further chaos and losses on the stock market as investors flee the country to escape Obama's doubling of the capital gains tax.

6. The sudden realization that the "rich" Obama is targeting with his class war style income tax hikes are 70% small business operators. Costing millions of jobs.

7. Iran getting nuclear weapons leading to nuclear war in the Middle East.

8. Allies will be discarded, enemies empowered.

9. The stripping of the military to levels that make even Jimmy Carter uncomfortable.

10. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi will be the de facto president, because Obama is far too weak, and bound to partisanship to stop her quest for ultimate power.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


Finally The Truth!

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Greg Gutfeld outdoes himself with this daring expose of the real Sarah Palin.

Try the "full screen" mode. (h/t Hot Air)

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

The Leftist Mind: Jive Turkey's Right To Vote...

Greetings puny Earthlings. Time for another dip into the Leftist Mind.

There's a lot of talk lately, mostly ignored in the MSM, about Barack Obama's connections, as a lawyer and activist, with ACORN. ACORN claims to be a group out to promote civil rights and puppies, kittens, unicorns and rainbows, but is in fact, a massive voter fraud ring, that uses extortion, bribery, and corruption to get their funding from the government and corporations.

So why would Barack Obama associate with a group like that?

The main reason is that Barack Obama believes in nothing but his own quest for power.

Think about it for a minute.

Can you honestly think of anything Obama's done that has accomplished anything beyond his own advancement?

Chicago Annenberg Challenge, The Woods Foundation, ACORN, and Xenu knows how many other foundations and alleged "charities" that he's worked with, that have done nothing to improve the lives of anyone other than the people that advanced his political career. Sure, he knew Bill Ayers was a terrorist, everybody around him knew, he bragged about it. What mattered to Obama was Ayers dad Tom, who was a big wheel in the local Democratic machine and who had effectively been Illinois top kingmaker for decades.

Even his religion is really just another case of opportunism, where he used the racist crackpot Rev. Jeremiah Wright more or less to advance himself among the South Side Chicago voters, and when Wright started to cost him, he tossed him under the bus, with so many others.

And don't get me started on his writing. Who can honestly write two books about how wonderful they are, and still have the chutzpah to run for office.

Which is why it bugs me when people keep spreading those "Secret Muslim" stories. To even be a secret Muslim you have to actually believe in something beyond the power of your own charm.

So dealing with a blatantly corrupt group like ACORN is not a big deal with him, especially when they can deliver the undead voters to get him in the White House.

Keep watching the skies because we're watching you.


Dear John... McCain that is...

Greetings puny Earthlings. I'm going to take a moment to pass along a few questions for John McCain to bring up at tonight's debate.

1. What happened to the $160 million from the Chicago Annenberg Challenge that Obama chaired with Bill Ayers (the terrorist) when it was supposed to improve schools, yet improved nothing?

2. Where did Tony Rezko get the money to pay for the land that made Obama's million dollar house possible?

3. Why did Obama block every attempt to reform Illinois politics and free it from the Chicago political machine?

4. Keating 5? How about Barney Frank literally being in bed with one of the top architects of the fall of Fannie Mae?

5. How can a man who accuses the US military of wantonly bombing innocent villages, possibly be its commander in chief?

6. How can America trust the judgement of a man who has accomplished nothing outside of promoting himself?

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


Douchebags of the Week! The Bailout Edition!

Greetings puny Earthlings, sorry for the light posting lately, but hey, I rule the goddamn universe, I'm a busy man, so let's a minute to take a look at the week in Douchebaggery, so here they are, in no particular odour....

BARNEY FRANK- Not only for playing interference with the increasingly unstable Fannie Mae while chairing the Banking Committee, but for playing house with senior Fannie Mae exec Herb Moses while Moses was developing the very same programs that put the company on the road to ruin. If a Republican banking committee chair had been shacked up with an executive at Fannie Mae at any time in their lives, even if it was just a one night stand in college, he'd be shitting kittens, screaming conflict of interest and demanding special prosecutors, immediate arrests, and summary executions. Why isn't he doing it now? Oh right, he's a hypocrite.

CHRIS DODD- For taking the most money from Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac, while getting sweetheart mortgage deals from the now collapsed Countrywide Financial, all the while blocking all calls for oversight of their risky, and possibly criminal business practises.

BARACK OBAMA- For taking the second most money from Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac, and having a past working with ACORN, 60s radicals, and just about every dirty player between Chicago and Washington. And then having the chutzpah for blaming it all on a deregulation bill from 10 years ago. If only he'd show such balls around the country's enemies, then maybe he might be qualified for something other than selling himself.

HARRY REID- For the sheer irresponsibility of crowing that a major, household name, insurance company was on the verge of bankruptcy, when he obviously knew nothing of the sort, and was only grandstanding for political gain, no matter the cost. Good old Harry Reid, always bringing politics to new lows.

THE REST OF CONGRESS- For turning the bail out into an orgy of pork. For shame.

THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA- For ignoring the real causes of the current economic problems, for fear of hurting their chosen candidate, Barack Obama. Whatever happened to be real journalists?

Oh well, that's enough for now, and remember if your name is on this list, then...
Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


A Look Into the Future!: The Palin Biden Debate

Greetings puny Earthlings. Today I was able to use some of my advanced alien technology to get a special sneak preview of Thursday's Vice Presidential Debate, moderated by PBS's Gwen Ifill. Enjoy.

Good evening, and welcome to the Vice Presidential Debate. I'm Gwen Ifill, PBS personality and author of Obama: The Man Who Saved The Earth Wis His Smile. Today our debate is between Democratic Candidate Joe Biden, who comes to us blessed by the great Obama himself. And he will be debating some Nazi sympathizer named Sarah Palin.

Hey! I am not--

I'm afraid your time is up Frau Palin, if that is your real name. Would you like to make an opening comment Vice President Biden?

Thank you Gwen. I'd like to assure that Barack Obama will not take away my guns. He will take away your guns, but mine are safe. That's all you need to know.

Wow, the beauty of your eloquence just astounds me. Now Commandant Palin, while you were busy as Gauleiter for Pat Buchanan, and covering up for your promiscuous daughter's birthing of legions of retarded children upon our Earth, did you take any time to revel in the glorious greatness of Barack Obama?

I did not work for Pat Buchanan, I worked for Steve Forbes and what's--

Your time is up. Vice President Biden--

He's not Vice President!

SILENCE! WHORE OF WASILLA! Now Vice President Biden, is it true that anyone who votes for anyone other than Barack Obama is a racist?

Absolutely. Anyone who doesn't want Barack Obama as their president, despite his connections to terrorists, corrupt political machines, racist churches and shady slum lords is a racist. And sure he may have pissed away over $100 million dollars of charity money earmarked to improve Chicago schools, without anything to show for it. Sure, he never actually accomplished anything, and never really ran anything that wasn't a politically corrupt scam, and he will raise your taxes, censor talk radio, and go after all critics with criminal prosecutions, but if you don't vote for him, you're a nasty racist!

Thank you Vice President Biden. Herr Palin, when did you stop beating your children with whips, chains, and other implements of torture?

I never--

You didn't answer the question. Yes or no?

Listen, I never--

You never stopped beating your children. Well that's pretty brazen of you. Vice President Biden, is it true that Barack Obama's presidency will bring about world peace, the end of poverty, disease, and global warming?


Amazing. Sarah Palin, how does high number of homes and cars owned by your running mate John McCain directly cause the economic depression that we're in?

The number of--

Don't fill the air with the stench of your lies as you sit there smug, the blood of innocent black babies running down the side of your mouth. You are not fit to smell the farts of the great lightworker Barack Obama!

I think you're off your nut.

That's a racist assault! A racist assault! You heard it here America!

That's it, I'm leaving, you're crazy!

What's wrong, did you double book your lynching?

I'm outta here...

Congratulations Vice President Biden. You will serve the light-worker well!

Damn straight!
Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.