InterGalactic Roundtable #2.1

MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings. It's time, once again for The MoxArgon Group, where the Universe's Alien Overlords analyze and occasionally mock the politics and culture of your puny little planet. Joining me are the regulars, Xran the Fleshrender, Android Cai/7, and Varos Quasar. Good to see you all again. First topic: Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah has admitted that the kidnapping of Israeli soldiers was a mistake. What do you think?

XRAN- That little misadventure was a grade-A fist up the polly-wocker. Sure they got a lot of their own people killed and got the UN to intervene to save their worthless hides, but it exposed a lot of problems with Hezbollah.

ANDROID CAI/7- Chief among them being the dreadful performance of their homemade and Iranian/Chinese made rockets and missiles. They fired thousands into the hearts of Israel's cities and killed what... 39 people, mostly civilians. Israel drops a relative handful of precision bombs, and kills hundreds of their numbers. It's an embarrassing performance.

VAROS- What about the deaths of the poor civilians?

MOXARGON- Those Lebanese civilians wouldn't have died if Hezbollah hadn't purposely put them in harm's way. Besides, we have no idea from the reports of the media exactly how many were civilians and how many were really Hezbollah in civilian drag.

XRAN- Basically, Nasrallah showed the world that the mighty forces of Islam are pretty much useless in conventional warfare, and aren't even that good at attacking unarmed civilians.

MOXARGON- If they're going to realize their dream of slaughtering or enslaving non-Muslims they're going to need Iran's A-Bomb. Regular bombs require too much skill for them to handle.

VAROS- Am I the only one who sees the irony in Iran's A-Bomb program?

ANDROID CAI/7- What do you mean?

VAROS- Iran seeks the A-bomb to destroy Israel and the United States. The United States was the country that developed the A-Bomb, with the help of more than a few Jewish scientists from America and Europe.

MOXARGON- That's the paradox of modern Islamic fascism. They seek the technological achievements made possible only by free societies, in order to destroy the free societies of the world. To paraphrase what one Iranian dissident said: a nation that can't produce something as simple as a decent safety match wants nuclear weapons to make all the other countries of the world unable to produce a decent safety match.

XRAN- Maybe someone should tell Ahmadinejad that his precious nukes aren't exactly Halal?

VAROS- That might make him back off.

MOXARGON- Unlikely. Folks like Ahmadinejad love all the death stuff too much to let it go. Next topic: Entertainment, some folks have jumped on the Emmy Awards for airing a parody of the TV show Lost which featured Conan O'Brian in a plane crash, which happened on the same day as a plane crashed in Kentucky.

XRAN- Well that's just tasteless.

ANDROID CAI/7- Having no emotions, I can't really be offended.

VAROS- I think it's disgraceful.

MOXARGON- Well you're all wrong. Sorry folks, but the routine was made days, if not weeks in advance, and it was not done to deliberately mock the victims of the Kentucky crash. Earthlings have to break this constant cycle of perpetual grief and offense over what are essentially apples and oranges. That's basically saying that all movies and television shows that feature car crashes should be banned, because somewhere somebody died in a car accident that day. If O'Brian went out and made deliberate jokes about the poor people who died in that crash, then they'd be right to be offended, but a parody of a preexisting TV show doesn't really count. They better stop all this overdosing on grief, because it'll make them completely useless once we take over their planet. Next topic: John Mark Karr, the man who confessed to killing Jonbenet Ramsey, thus reviving the long dormant media circus, was proven to be full of bullarkins by a DNA test. What do you think?

XRAN- They should feed him to the bezelnargs.

VAROS- The man has brought creepy pedophilia to a new low, I didn't think it was possible, but he did it.

ANDROID CAI/7- If this Karr fellow requires so much attention I think a life term pulling the train for the Aryan Nation in a maximum security prison will cure him.

MOXARGON- I say vaporize him now so we won't have to look at his creepy pervert face on TV anymore.

XRAN- Say, Remulak, what did you think about the folks filling in for Michelle Malkin last week at Hot Air.

MOXARGON- I must say that Mary Katherine Ham and Bethany from Realverse were excellent guest hosts. And I'm not just saying that because of their looks... okay, maybe I am. One of my hearts will always belong to Michelle Malkin, but I do have two more for a reason. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink...

VAROS- What about the guys who sat in?

MOXARGON- What guys? Speaking of TV, we here at the MoxArgon Group, are starting our very first Intergalactic Internet Film Festival. We're calling on people all over the blogosphere to recommend their favourite YouTube videos to be posted here. Simply click here for details and leave links to your recomendations in our pleas section. So until next time, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


Peace In Our Time... & a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Okay it's not peace in your time, but it's definitely happened between me and that little pip-squeak Vox Poplar. I finally found the the little wannabe Spielberg in a bar in Guatemala, trying to find someone willing to exchange my Flokian money for Earthling money.

Well, we exchanged a few... words, I got all my money back, and then some, and Vox learned a valuable lesson about the movie business.

Speaking of the movie business, I'm formally inviting everyone to participate in the


Yeah, you read that right, we're tossing together a film festival. So if you have a political / humorous / politically-humorous video on YouTube, then let us know, if you'd like to reccomend a video, feel free. The videos will be reviewed by me and my colleagues, sort of like Ebert & Roeper, with fewer brain-suckings, and prizes will be awarded for the best and the worst that you have to offer.

So, until next time keep watching the skies because we're watching you, and we'll be watching your internet videos!



Remulak loves comedy roasts and he did participate in this one for William Shatner, but for some reason he was edited out of the show. Something about cruelty to animals, or Andy Dick or something, but who cares. Thanks to the folks at HOT AIR & Youtube, we have these highlights.




Greetings puny Earthlings. Remulak MoxArgon here with our latest cinematic experiment. After that incident with Vox Poplar's attempt at filmmaking I've decided to do another film, but this time, I did it all by myself.

Okay, maybe not all by myself. The other guys pitched in a little bit. It's a new ad for the Ned Lamont Senate Campaign. I figured he deserved a boost, what with him trailing in the polls and being weak on protecting American lives and all that stuff. So set your faces to stunned, because here's the greatest political ad of all time.

And it didn't cost me a fortune!

PS: I'm still looking for that slippery little Earthling named Vox Poplar. He last seen in a bar in Tijuana, but we lost track of him. Any snitch who helps me catch him and give him the whuppin' he so rightly deserves will earn a special place when I finally get around to conquering Earth.



Greetings puny Earthlings, Xran here with some interest news from the planet within a planet that you Earthlings call Hollywood.

It looks like a contingent, led, according to Australian sources, by uber-hottie Nicole Kidman, have decided to dump all the crazy International ANSWER crap that seems to dominate what passes for celebrity thinking these days and do something sensible.

They've dared to declare, publicly no less, that they are against terrorism and for democracy

Now that is shocking news. Celebrities are supposed to be for whatever Republicans are against, and right not, that's terrorism and Islamic fascism. But these folks have decided to break from the pack and declare themselves in support of the free societies that have made them wealthy and successful. They'll probably never work in Hollywood again.

Hat tip to Hugh Hewitt for the pic of the ad.



I got 1st Place in the GOP in The City Caption Contest. Hurray for me! I am the champion! I am the champion! You are the losers! Cause I am the champion! Of the world!!!

In other news...

Has anyone seen this Earthling?

His name is Vox Poplar, and is a blogger and pretends to be a filmmaker. Now he owes me a lot of money for the film made for our 1st Anniversary Special. If he returns the money I might not feed him to the Snarflegargers and let him off with just a severe beating. A little mercy among bloggers, but he must return all the money.

He was last seen boarding a plane for Tijuana, but vanished soon afterwards. Any snitching will be generously rewarded.

UPDATE: No useful snitching on the whereabouts of Mr. Poplar. But we do have a question:

RT , a lowly earthling, pleaded...

Wouldn't that be champion of the universe?

No, it's an Earthling caption contest, not an Intergalactic one. The one that would give you the status of Champion of the Universe, is posted every 3rd Sargle at uww.gethorflethorax.rantspot.zxy. I have yet to win that contest. Damn you Gethorflethorax!

UPDATE 2: We haven't caught the little bastard yet. So we've hacked his blog and I've put Xran in charge until he returns my frikkin' money!!


InterGalactic Roundtable 1st Anniversary Special Extravaganza!

It's Finally ready, here's our first anniversary MoxArgon Group Special!

MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings, and welcome the Moxargon Group's first anniversary box-social. As promised we have some old friends joining us for this special edition. As usual we have Xran the Fleshrender.

XRAN- How's it hanging?

MOXARGON- Android CAI/7.

ANDROID CAI/7- Greetings Earthlings.

MOXARGON- Varos Quasar.

VAROS- Hi there.

MOXARGON- Our friends from Point-Counterpoint, Tektak F. Mechanoid.

TEKTAK- Hello.

MOXARGON- Snotglob the mutant.


MOXARGON- And joining us a little later will be our old friend Koos-Koos the Seer of the future to tell what the next year will bring us.

KOOS-KOOS- I knew I was going to be invited here.

MOXARGON- And a very special guest, group alumnus, radio host, and old and dear friend Dalek Drone-9099. Welcome back Drone-9099.

DRONE-9099- Exterminate! Exterminate!

MOXARGON- I see you're still a little touchy about the whole Anne Coulter thing, eh? Let's move onto our first topic. Incumbent senator Joseph Lieberman was defeated by anti-war millionaire and political neophyte End Lamont in the race for the Democratic Party nomination. What does this mean for Democrats and Republicans?

XRAN- I think it could hurt the Republicans and their prosecution of the war effort.

ANDROID CAI/7- I disagree. I think it bodes ill for the prospects of the Democratic Party.

VAROS- I must admit that I think it's completely up in the air for me.

MOXARGON- Drone-9099?

DRONE-9099- Exterminate! Exterminate!

TEKTAK- I think the Democrats are going to be in for a very rude awakening. The real bellwether event is the defeat of Cynthia McKinney in Georgia for the Democratic nomination. Unlike Lamont, she didn't have millions of dollars and an internet campaign to sign up anti-war moonbats into the Democratic Party. She had to face a demographic most closely resembling the average American electorate, and she got her ass kicked. Only an idiot would vote for a weak on defense moonbat during wartime. And for an example of that kind of idiot...

SNOTGLOB- I disagree with Tektak. I think Ned Lamont is the future. The great Michael Moore said it best, anyone not willing to surrender Iraq, and after that Europe and America to the jihadis has no place in the Democratic Party or in the American Congress. The world needs the guidance of rich limousine liberals to show them that the civilization that they're ancestors struggled to build and preserve isn't worth defending.

TEKTAK- I rest my case.

MOXARGON- I have to admit that I'm with Tektak on this one. The Democrats seem intent on committing suicide and they want to take the entire western world with them. Next topic: The fighting in the Middle East. As of this transmission the cease-fire between Hezbollah and Israel seems to be holding. What do you think?

XRAN- Agreeing to the cease-fire was a major mistake for the Israelis. You don't negotiate with people like Hezbollah, you hunt them down, kill them horribly, and make a new suit from their skins.

ANDROID CAI/7- I prefer vaporization. Much cleaner.

VAROS- I think the Israelis are expecting Hezbollah to blow the cease-fire and then hit them with everything they've got.

DRONE-9099- Exterminate! Exterminate!

TEKTAK- I disagree with Drone-9099 on that issue. There's no way world opinion would turn to side with Israel if Hezbollah breaks the cease-fire. Why, because world opinion is dictated by organizations like the UN, so-called 'progressive' NGOs, academics, and the media, which we all know are crawling with moronic anti-Semites who would cut their own throats before admitting that Jews have a right to live in peace.

SNOTGLOB- I think the cease fire's a good thing. I mean those evil Israelis only killed civilians in their war against the Lebanese people! The press told me so!

MOXARGON- The same press that published obviously doctored photos of death and destruction?

XRAN- The same press that allowed some dork in a green helmet to direct their coverage in what could possibly be faked atrocities?

ANDROID CAI/7- The same press that regularly ignores the fact that Hezbollah terrorists uses women and children as human shields so that their death fuel a perpetual Islamic hate machine?

SNOTGLOB- Why are you picking on me?

MOXARGON- Because it's the only way you'll learn Snotglob. Hassan Nasrallah's already claiming victory, even though Hezbollah got a royal reaming from the Israelis.

VAROS- That is standard operating procedure for Islamic wars. Start a fight with Israel, get your asses kicked, use your own children to catch bullets, and then go crying to the UN to get the West to make Israel back down. And when Israel does, claim you defeated them.

ANDROID CAI/7- And the truly illogical part is that the Arab world actually seems to believe these claims, illustrating how culturally and socially bankrupt Islam society is.

SNOTGLOB- That is an Islamophobic remark! You sir are a racist!

ANDROID CAI/7- I think you need a race to be a racist.


MOXARGON- Android CAI/7 is just being logical. What reasons do the Islamic world give the rest of the Earthlings that Islamophobia is wrong? As we speak yet another group of young Muslims have been arrested for plotting to blow up airliners in the hope of killing as many people as possible. Iran seeks nuclear weapons for the sole purpose of genocide and terrorism. Arab militias are hunting African Muslims in the Sudan to control oil reserves. Canadian Muslims plotted to blow up innocent people and behead their Prime Minister. Chechen Muslims have massacred schoolchildren. Hell, everywhere Islam meets any other faith, it usually results in perpetual war and horror.

XRAN- Exactly, I think the burden of proof has fallen squarely on the shoulders of the Islamic world to prove that they don't deserve to be feared.

SNOTGLOB- They are just expressing their societal anger!

MOXARGON- At what? Most terrorists come from from middle to upper-middle class families, they aren't of the oppressed masses, in fact, most come from the oppressors. What they are is power hungry, and their lust for power is fuelled by a political left who have taken moral equivalence to a ridiculous degree. The Islamic Fascists see the Western World as weak and ripe for the plucking, thinking that plunging the world back into the Dark Ages would somehow be an improvement.

ANDROID CAI/7- It would be an improvement for us. A planet unable to sustain itself would be easier to conquer.

MOXARGON- Good point. Go right ahead then Osama. Ha-ha!

SNOTGLOB- You are all racist servants of the Zionist conspiracy to control the Earth!

MOXARGON- Now that would be a bad situation for us.


MOXARGON- It would be bad for us if the Jews really ruled the Earth. Then it would be a real fight. All those states with advanced Earthling technology, civil rights for women and minorities, national health care, well trained and led militaries, and a legal system based on real justice instead of tribal taboos. That would be rough for us.

ANDROID CAI/7- Excellent thought. Jews are not interested in oppressing those who seek to live in peace, they have no compunction to convert, segregate, or destroy people of other faiths, and have shown a remarkable capability to contribute positively to Earthling society beyond their small numbers. Look at the sheer number of Jewish Nobel Prize winners.

TEKTAK- I've been saying that for years.

MOXARGON- Let's move onto our next segment. Koos-Koos the Seer of the Future has joined us to let us in on what the year ahead hold in store for us. Koos-Koos.

KOOS-KOOS- I predict that a certain blue-colored Intergalactic Conqueror will fly into a made rage over the actions of an Earthling blogger.

MOXARGON- Are you talking about me? It can't be about that Fitch Bitch always claiming to call me out. I literally crap bigger than that guy.

KOOS-KOOS- It will not be Fitch.


KOOS-KOOS- I won't spoil the surprise.


KOOS-KOOS- I knew you were going to say that.

MOXARGON- Let's move onto our next segment. It's a real surprise. We contracted, okay, we enslaved blogger Vox Poplar to make us a movie. I love your Earthling movies, and if Michelle Malkin can vlog, then we can too. Roll it Xran!

MOXARGON- That's it?

XRAN- That's the film he gave me.

DRONE-9099- Exterminate! Exterminate!

MOXARGON- We spent $183 million on that?

XRAN- Poplar said he ran up some expenses...

MOXARGON- I'll kill the little bastard!

KOOS-KOOS- You see.

MOXARGON- Shut your hole! And to you Earthlings, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you. And if your name is Vox Poplar, you better watch out!

Where's The Party?

Greetings. Today is our first blog-iversary, and you're probably wondering where's the party, the shindig, the hootenanny, and the box social. Well, we're running a little behind, and it's not because of the hyperspace transmitters. An Earthling blogger has worked on a little surprise for us, that's on YouTube, and on the day we're supposed to post it, YouTube goes down. Well, someone will be getting a visit from some very annoyed aliens if they don't get it back up soon.

So sit tight, as soon as we can see this little surprise, the sooner this party can get started.


Let's Get The Party Started!

We're getting all ready for our first Earthling anniversary and we're going to bringing back some old friends as well as new folks and we're going to looking at the piles of mail we've been getting in honour of our Blog-Mitzvah. It's going to be a real hootenanny. Isn't that what the kids these days call a party... a hootenanny?

Who cares.

Just be sure to check us out Tuesday, barring any trouble with the hyperspace feed.


Guess What?

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Next week, the 15th of August according to your primitive three-dimensional Earthling calendar, is the first anniversary of our little 'blog.'

That's why your galactic overlords command you to post your favourite memories of this magical year we've been analysing and mocking the wretched little rock you call home.

We're also planning some special guests to look back at the past year and have a peek at the year ahead.

So send us your memories, and they better be fond or you will FACE MY MIGHTY WRATH!!!

A Moment of Shatner...


Answers Please....


Hello puny Earthlings, It's your pal TekTak here with a few questions about the situation on Earth that I'd like to get some answers for.

1. Why does Mel Gibson's drunken asinine and bigoted rant about "F***in' Jews" get so much attention, while the murderous rampage against Jews in Seattle gets so little, even though it resulted in an innocent woman's death?

2. Why does the Mainstream Media spend so much time calling every unintentional Lebanese casualty as an "Israeli atrocity" even though these people were deliberately put in harm's way by Hezbollah?

3. Why does the Mainstream Media spend so much time ignoring the deliberate Israeli civilian casualties killed by Hezbollah/Hamas rockets?

4. Why do so many in the Media and the Democratic Party want America to lose the War On Terror, even though it would mean their own doom at the hands of Islamic extremists?

Any answers you can give me will be greatly appreciated.



We had a lot of entries in our totally original and never been done before photo caption contest, but not all of you can be winners, in fact, none of you are winners!

But here's our top entries (in no particular order):

rt said... "Those silly Americans and their don't ask don't tell policy...look how liberated we are."

fmragtops said... "Guy on the right: Didn't I see this in Big Trouble Little China?"

Anonymous said... "Up-sie-daisy, there you go right into your coffin"

Anonymous said... "(guy on right) would you be offended if i whispered sweet nothings into your ear?"

Onus said... "Me love you long time."

Michael Hodges said... "Up-sie-daisy, there you go right into your coffin" now is that Hugo saying that or the other?

Digital Fortress said... "The bodies of the recently deceased are returning to life and attacking the living, these zombies can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain..."

Anonymous said... "Hugo proves that "Soul Sucking Communism" is more then just words."

And the real winner is:


TEKTAK: "Poor bastard is not long for this world."

SNOTGLOB: "General Giap is very old for an Earthling."

TEKTAK: "I was talking about Hugo Chavez."

Sorry Earthlings, you've missed your shot at being spared from a horrible plasma scorched death. But to show that I'm not completely heartless, I'll give you all another shot. Come up with a caption for this picture:

Now get to it!


Totally fun and completely original caption contest!

I was trying to come up with something new and original for this blog, and I thought: "Here's something no puny Earthling's ever done, a blog photo-caption contest."The person who comes up with the funniest caption for this photo will win a very special prize. Their lives will be spared when my hordes bring your wretched little planet under heel. Good luck and happy captioning.

Loose Change Nuts?

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Here's a little piece about the demented people behind the film LOOSE CHANGE and their wacky conspiracy theories that I found while desperately searching Hot Air for more footage of Michelle Malkin.

Warning, the language and the images can be a tad raw and graphic, so be warned.

Here are a few questions for the filmmakers behind Loose Change:

If you honestly believe the American government slaughtered thousands of its own citizens for an excuse to start wars:

1. Why do you still live in America?

2. Why haven't you tried to overthrow this murderous regime by force?

And don't you think that it's more than a little racist to assume that a bunch of Middle Eastern guys are somehow intellectually incapable of committing the attacks, that only 'mighty whitey' is smart enough to pull it off?

Talk amongst yourselves.