A Word From A Wise Latina


Nominee for the Supreme Court of the USA

Hello, and thank you for coming to this post to bask in the awesome power of my wisdom as a Latina.

It is not my judicial experience that makes me the most qualified candidate ever for the Supreme Court. It is that I am a Latina, and I have a vagina.

It is this Latina vagina of mine that grants me wisdom beyond my phallocentric predecessors and colleagues.

My Latina vagina is the source of my great empathy. My empathy is a force more powerful than the rule of law, because while laws were written by White Anglo-Saxon Penises, my empathy stands for the oppressed.

My empathy says that there's no problem with the Justice Department canceling investigations of voter intimidation by the Black Panthers, because those Black Panthers were acting out of empathy.

It also says that there is no problem with taking guns away from otherwise law-abiding people, because people who own guns don't have the empathy that I have.

I also have great empathy for Barack Obama and the inevitable racist criticism he will receive for taking his wife on Air Force 1 to New York to see a show. Sure, it cost a lot of money, and seemed more fitting a monarch than a president, but it's Obama, so criticising him will make you a racist.

Though I must admit that my empathy isn't infinite. My Latina vagina feels no empathy at all for the people who want illegal aliens who commit violent crimes, including rape and murder, deported back to their countries.

How racist and evil can you get?

That's the sort of evil the empathy of my Latina vagina will vanquish.

I will do everything I can, even if it isn't in the stupid phallocentric constitution, to ensure that those immigrants can stay in this country, legally or not, no matter how many people they rape, attack, and kill.

Because it's all about empathy.

And that's all that matters.


Reality Checks: What Really Recruits Terrorists

Greetings puny Earthlings, time for a quick REALITY CHECK.

The Democrats are going on about "torture" declaring that water-boarding and other "enhanced interrogation techniques" are the "greatest recruiting tool for terrorists."

Well, I just have to call bullshit on that one.

You see, there is only one really successful tool to recruit terrorism, and that is MAKING TERRORISM LOOK SUCCESSFUL.

No one joins Al Qaida to avenge the water-boarding of Khalid Shake & Bake Mohammed. They join Al Qaida because they want to be in on the winning side.

What's my proof?

If you pay attention you'll notice that all the signs accusing the USA of human rights abuses at Middle Eastern protests are always in English, that's because they are for western media consumption only. The Arabic signs are calls for victory in the name of Allah.

Plus, take the average Middle Eastern interrogator, and tell them about water-boarding, and their reaction would probably be: So what? Where's the genital mutilation? The bastinado? Where's the permanent physical scarring? To a Middle Eastern Interrogator, a day where their subject can walk away under their own power is a day when they are not doing their jobs.

And yet, the amount of "outrage" in the Middle East at their own tactics, is no where near the hullaballoo caused by western politicians over water-boarding.

No, it's not outrage at "American abuse" that makes terrorists. It's making it look like they have a chance to actually win by having a government that swans around apologizing for its existence, offering carrots and no sticks to aggressive thugs, cutting back on defense, and plotting and scheming to criminalize national defense for political reasons.

That's what recruits terrorists.

And that's your reality check for today.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


Once More Into the Breech!!


King of England

Hello the peasants in the land of the living, it's me Henry V, as in "the fifth."

I'd like to take a moment to talk about the country I used to rule, namely England, and the rest of Great Britain.

Specifically, what the hell is wrong with that bloody country?

There isn't drop of honour to be found anywhere in that wretched, drink-sodden, and corrupt little rock.

Members of Parliament are robbing the country blind, and the best anyone in power can muster is to criticize the people for complaining about the thieving!

Crime is rampant on the streets with drunken hooliganism happening so often that it's not even news anymore. And you can't trust the crime statistics, because the police have stopped recording crimes that might cause their numbers to go up.

The greatest ambition of many Britons is to collect welfare, spend it all on drink, and drugs to work up the courage to beat the royal piss out of someone for kicks.

Immigrants are being kept from become real citizens of England in the name of political correctness, thus creating a vast, increasingly radicalized underclass that's out-birthing everyone else.

Labour is a bunch of opportunistic political hacks who daily sign away fresh pieces of the nation's sovereignty and soul to the increasingly undemocratic European Union.

The Tories are so scared of being criticized by the socialist leaning media that they have become eunuchs when compared to the real and solid leadership of someone like me.

And the nutless wonders in Parliament are inspiring a rise of racist nationalists like the BNP.

This the country that beat the French at Agincourt.

(Yes, I know everyone's beaten the French since then, but back then it was considered quite an achievement.)

This is the soggy little island that conquered a good chunk of the world, and laying the foundation for many impressive modern nations.

This is the country that was the last remaining democracy in Europe when the Nazis were rolling up Europe like a carpet.

All that was for naught.

And I blame the schools.

In schools, heroes are spat upon, because their existence offends the delicate sensibilities of some posh nob who are the self-appointed guardians of the working classes and ethnic minorities. Their achievements ignored, for fear that their immensity may hurt the self-esteem of a teenage thug in a hooded jumper.

When children are taught that nothing but negativity about their nation, regardless of their skin colour or religion, they are going to grow to value nothing beyond the next cheap thrill as worth fighting for.

If I wasn't already dead, I'd be heading down there to give the whole country a royal thrashing about the head and the ass where they keep it.

Bloody hell.


Random Reality Checks...

Greetings puny Earthlings. Time for some REALITY CHECKS!!!


I just read a piece about how Barack Obama's catamites have started covering events themselves When I read that, I realized the massive shit fit those very same mainstream media minions would have had if George W. Bush tried that.

They'd have been screaming "Propaganda!" "Goebbels!!" and "Worse than Hitler!" at the top of their lungs. Yet here is their Messiah giving them a chainmail fisting, and only Jake Tapper at ABC seems to have even noticed.

Tapper seems a bit confused, it's as if Obama is somehow unhappy with the undying adulation he's getting for free from the media, and wants the taxpayers to shell out for some more.

Now I have come up with what I think are also good reasons...

1. Obama doesn't like the way Chris Matthews' eyes wander, and where they wander to, if you know what I mean.

2. The event was right after lunch, and Obama didn't want Helen Thomas in his eyeline.

3. Obama didn't know that "Lady Huskies" was the name of the team, and not a description their size, and didn't want the MSM to know that he's the Sir-Mix-A-Lot of the White House.

4. Jake Tapper asks questions whose answers aren't on his teleprompter.


Nancy Pelosi stands by her slander of the CIA, thus damaging all of the spy agencies operations the world over, and some folks are saying that this is the beginning of the end for her career, but I disagree.

I'm pretty sure that this will all blow over in a month or two, and she'll still be the #3 power-player in Washington.


1. The media is pretty much in Pelosi's back pocket, and will eat her feces and call it ice cream.

2. Democratic voters don't care about ethics, national security, or even the dignity of the congress, all they care about is power, getting it, keeping it, and making sure no one else ever gets it.

Pelosi has power, and is planning to criminalize the opposition in order to keep power, so to the Democratic voters, that's all they need to hear. So they'll do everything to keep her in place.

Expect CIA Director Panetta to get crucified before congress for daring to act like an adult and do his job.

Keep watching the skies because we're watching you.
and shutting out the other minions in the mainstream media.


You Didn't Hear This From Me....


Good evening, it's good to see you all here.

I guess I should thank Remulak MoxArgon for inviting me to speak at this school, though I'm not sure why this event is called "Negative Example Week," but I never turn down an opportunity to shoot my mouth off.

Now folks in the fascist wing of the blogosphere have been smearing me with reports that a Pakistani newspaper is citing me as a source for a story that Dick Cheney's Executive Assassination Squad was behind the death of Benazir Bhutto. Now let me set the record straight, I merely said that Dick Cheney ran an Executive Assassination Squad, I didn't specifically tell them that they killed Benazir Bhutto.

Though they probably did.

But I'm not writing that down, I'm just saying it, so you really can't say that I officially put that in an article.

And since I'm giving a speech outside the United States, I might as well tell you a few more incontrovertible facts.

1. George W. Bush has a secret island in the Gulf of Mexico where he raises dinosaurs by feeding them illegal immigrants.

2. Dick Cheney is actually just a brain in a cyborg body sent from the future to enslave mankind with his awe-inspiring sex-appeal.

3. The only reason the surge worked in Iraq was because the US Army killed every single Iraqi in the world, and replaced them with animatronic duplicates created by Disney.

4. Nancy Pelosi is the world's most brilliant mind and is being completely honest about water-boarding.

5. Speaking of water-boarding, after they torture the poor innocent freedom fighters, the Marines at Gitmo then eat them. I have a copy of the cookbook, here's a picture:
See, incontrovertible proof that America is the most evil, imperialist, cannibalistic state the world has ever seen.

But I'm not writing that down, so don't quote me on that.

Good night.


News of the Earth!!

Hi Earthlings.

We haven't done one of these in a mogak's age, so I've decided to jump in and actually contribute to this blog once in a while.

1. Former newspaper publisher Conrad Black has been granted the right to appeal to his conviction. I think this time he should be allowed to show that his accusers destroyed a company that prospered when he was supposedly stealing.

2. Joe Biden gave away the location of his secret vice-presidential bunker. I won't give away the location, because Al Qaida's probably got it marked as a favourite on Google Earth. I swear, if he gets any dumber, he will officially be declared a mineral.

3. The Obama Administration's pet poodles in the mainstream media are attacking Dick Cheney, calling him "evil," a "stalker," and a dozen other names for daring to criticize the messiah. Yet none seem to successfully refute his arguments.

4. Nancy Pelosi's having a tizzy over torture. I don't know why, she only just declared herself a co-conspirator in her plan to criminalize the Bush administration.

Anyway, that's all for today, sorry for the light posting, but we're all very busy lately.


Reality Checks: Understanding Nancy Pelosi

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Nancy Pelosi is now screaming liar, liar, pants on fire at the CIA by saying that they lied to her about waterboarding when they briefed the Intelligence Committee, even though every other member of the committee remembers things different.

Well there's a very simple and scientific explanation for this.

Pelosi's brain is comprised of boiled tapioca pudding.

Now this isn't just political name-calling, this is a scientific phenomena that's been duly recorded by the greatest minds in the Known Universe, and the chief symptom of tapioca-for-brains is a complete and total disconnect from reality. The evidence of Nancy Pelosi's cognitive dissonance is everywhere, just look...

1. Pelosi presents herself as a "self-made woman" who succeeded due to the success of feminism, when in fact all of her political success comes from her politically connected father, and husband, who literally gave her the Democratic copper-bottom congressional seat in San Francisco.

2. Pelosi claims to be a devout Catholic, but is probably the world's most adamant champion of abortion, in all forms.

3. Pelosi claimed to have had a pleasant conversation with the Pope himself, when in the real world he scolded her over her vendetta against the unborn.

4. Pelosi fights free trade claiming that it hurts unions, yet refuses to employ union labour at any of the businesses her family owns.

And there are dozens of other instances where the poor woman is completely disconnected from the world around her. So it is quite believable that while everyone else was discussing water-boarding terrorists, she thought they were discussing grooming tips for unicorns.

The poor tapioca head needs pity, not scorn.

She probably also needs a helmet.

Keep watching the skies because we're watching you.


The Leftist Mind: Everything's Political

Greetings puny Earthlings.

A lot of folks are talking about the recent White House Correspondents Dinner in Washington D.C., it was apparently quite an event with Hollywood stars flocking to bask in the glow of their messiah. That kinda nasally voiced sitcom-second banana is also getting a lot of attention for being obnoxious. I won't mention her by name, because she's an attention whoring intellectually bankrupt hypocrite and moral coward, and she wants the attention, but I will talk about the root of why she did what she did and how it relates to the leftist mind.

You see for the bulk of its history the Correspondents Dinner was a private affair. Everyone would get a little loaded, make a lot of bad jokes about each other, roast the president, the president would roast them, and while folks knew it was going on, the actual details were rarely made public. The whole purpose was for folks in an often adversarial relationship to blow off steam in a harmless manner.

I can't recall exactly when the dinner started to become more public. I think it may have started with someone trying to embarrass the Reagan administration for participating, but I was drinking a lot in the 80s, so my memory's a tad hazy. Especially of my own performance at the 1985 dinner when I welcomed "President Mondale."

But anyhoo, the event started to become public, and with the coming of the GW Bush administration it was well on the path to the complete ruin that it's in now. The press corps, about 95% Democrat, decided that blowing off steam in a friendly manner was somehow beneath them. So the dinner went from a fun evening of professionals, to yet another bitchy political platform for a sitcom second-banana hoping to get her own show by lobbing softballs at her real target, and attacking all his enemies for him in a pretty obnoxious tirade.

So you're probably wondering why they would do this to the correspondents dinner.

Well, to the Leftist Mind everything must serve their ultimate aim: Ultimate Power. There can be no relaxation, no humour, no friendly banter with rivals. There are only servants to "The Cause" and "The Evil" who oppose them. These opponents must be criticized, crucified, and ultimately criminalized. And in this battle for Ultimate Power, everything must be a weapon, and every fight must be to the death.

The headliner wasn't there to entertain, she was there to attack, and hopefully get her own sitcom out of the deal, and she did. She did her duty most obediently, compromising her own claims to believe in gay marriage, free speech, or democracy. Because the causes you claim to believe in are just window dressing when it comes to power and getting as much of it as you can.

She will be rewarded. The mainstream media will call her "brave" for attacking the powerless while giving the powerful a free pass, "original" for rehashing old material, and "brilliant" for being dull and bitter. She followed her orders, and gleefully sold them the withered remnants of her soul.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


A Few Reality Checks....

Greetings puny Earthlings, it's time for a few reality checks.

To the United Kingdom....

1. So, you've banned an American talk-radio host from entering because he's obnoxious. Yet you still bring in Jihadis by the boatload, give them, and their wives welfare, extra perks, all while they spew hatred and use violence against Western Civilization and everything that once made your spent and wretched nation great. But at least Savage won't be able to offend anyone while he's taking the Tower of London tour. Methinks you don't have your priorities straight, or your head out of your ass.

2. Apparently some Labour government MPs and ministers were charging their porn to their expense accounts. Isn't that just like a socialist, wants the state to pay for everything.

And what's with expensing your horse manure? Come on, if anyone can make horse-shit out of thin air, it's a Labour Party Minister.

To the Gay Rights Lobby...

1. By joining Perez Hilton's little jihad against Miss California, you have made a man who scribbles penises on celebrity faces the standard by which all of you are being judged. Take a moment to think about that. Do you really think making a obnoxious wannabe celebwhore the face of the gay rights movement a smart thing?

2. When it comes to gay marriage, do you ever get the feeling you're being used? Face it, common law, and civil unions give you all the same rights as hetero-married couples, and you are perfectly free to start your own church and have little ceremonies too. So why the rush to redefine marriage? Could it be that you are being used to instill state regulation of religious beliefs? Think about it. Do you want to be associated with the destruction of a fundamental freedom, and do you think that will help win them over?

To Democrats...

1. Hey Nancy Pelosi, why'd you lie about approving waterboarding? Oh, right, you're hoping to criminalize the last administration, and being in on the whole "torture conspiracy" kinda puts an onion in your ointment. Well, you know what Goebbels said, if you lie loud enough, and often enough it will become the truth, and remember how well it worked out for him.

2. Cost of flying erratically over Manhattan in Air Force 1 for a photograph to feed Obama's ego:


Scaring the piss out of an entire city:


Maybe it's for the best to get New Yorkers used to running from airplanes, because Obama's security policies will probably make those things a lot more frequent.



I can't believe it's been so long since we've done a "Douchebags of the Week" what with all the douchebaggery going on and all, but it is better late than never.

1. SEN. ARLEN SPECTER- There's no whore like an old whore, and you'd be hard pressed to find any whore older than Arlen Specter, the former Republican In Name Only, acted like the rat he is and leaped across the aisle to the Democrats. But like the syphillis you contract from an old whore, that's just the beginning, take a look at this recent interview clip (ht-Hot Air)...

That's right, Jack Kemp's recent passing is all Bush's fault. Sure it's not true, and that Republicans increased cancer research funding in the billions, but that's not going to stop Specter from saying it. Remember, he's a Democrat now, and no one in the media will challenge whatever he says, no matter how much it reeks like opportunistic bullshit.

2. PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA- 100 days in office, 100 days of douchebaggery. First the massive explosion in debt that even the Democratic Party's Red Chinese masters are unwilling to buy. The giving of the bonuses to his AIG supporters, then using them as a political punching bag to distract the press from the fact that his foreign policy has less testicular fortitude than a chorus of castrati, and that his administration is just the Chicago political machine writ large. The bowing, the scraping, the apologizing for America's existence. The rampaging ego that honestly believes that he is the be all and end all of history.

And most recently, his threats to sic his obedient lickspittles in the Washington Press Corps on disobedient Chrysler execs. I don't doubt for a minute that it's true, it's definitely one of his tactics, and the MSM are quite happy to do their messiah's bidding. In fact the only move he made that showed any intelligence, foresight, and cojones was plopping Joe Biden in the Veep seat. Having a VP that's one IQ point from having to wear a helment 24/7 is probably the best insurance he can get.

3. JANET NAPOLITANO- Just look at her recent record of blaming Canada, veterans, taxpayers and Christians for violence while ignoring the people who actually do the violence to promulgate their violent ideology.

4. JOHN EDWARDS- The pretty pony of the Democratic Party is going to be investigated for using campaign cash to pay off his mistress. Well he should be. I pay for my mistresses and bastard spawn out of my own damn pocket, so why shouldn't he? ---Ooooh, I'm channeling John Edwards' illegitimate child, and the kid's saying: "Damn daddy, you are one cheap chiseling tool!"

5. TIMOTHY GEITHNER- The Treasury Secretary never met a mistake he didn't feel like doing over, again and again, and again.

So remember, if you find yourself on this list then...

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.




(Director of Homeland Security)

Hello my fellow Americans and dwellers of flyover country.

My department has come under criticism over what we consider terrorist threats, and since we Democrats have the monopoly on all scientific knowledge, (Al Gore did invent the internet) we have created a simple YES or NO test to determine if a person is a terrorist or not.

So just look at the questions, and answer YES if you agree with what it says, or NO if you do not agree.
  1. I think America is the greatest nation on Earth.
  2. I find the President's control of the Washington Press Corps disturbing.
  3. I believe that the control of the census by political hacks threatens democracy.
  4. I believe that people have the right to life.
  5. I cannot accept that hedge fund billionaires have the best interests of the country at heart.
  6. I believe that socialist policies will make the economy worse.
  7. The recession was caused by political interference married to the greed of people who don't understand how free markets work.
  8. I think democracy is worth defending.
  9. I think Ronald Reagan is one of America's greatest Presidents.
  10. I voted Republican at least once.
If you answered YES to any of these questions, then you are a dangerous terrorist. In fact, just visiting this blog has put you on a federal watch-list. Federal Agents are on the way to collect you and bring you to a special re-education camp.

That is all.