REALITY CHECK: A BUFFET FOR BUFFETT

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry for being away for so long, but we do have busy lives out here, running the Known Universe.  But I'm back to give you Earthlings a reality check that you really seem to need.

Right now the Obama Administration has a quandary, they want to be re-elected so they can be more "flexible" on issues like health care, gun control, and their dealings with the Iranians, the Chinese and the Russians.  However they can't run on their record since all they've managed to accomplish is to pass a bloated health care law that becomes more and more unpopular the more and more people learn about it.

So what do they do?  The answer appears to be Class War, by going after Republicans as the party of "fat cats" and "millionaires and billionaires" who make more than $250,000 a year.

The centerpiece of this class war is the so-called "Buffett Rule" where capital gains taxes would be doubled in the name of fairness, and that it has to be okay, because it has the endorsement, and name of arch-plutocrat Warren Buffett.

So let's look at the fundamental fallacies behind the "Buffett Rule." 

FALLACY #1: FAIRNESS

This is the most obvious fallacy because taxes have absolutely NOTHING to do with enforcing fairness.  Taxes exist for one purpose only and that is to generate the most revenue for the government while doing the least damage to the economy.

One of the fundamental truths about taxes is that if they go too high, the actual amount of revenue they collect goes down.  That's because high taxes slow the growth of the economy by reducing the amount of available investment capital, and when that happens there's a lot less money that can be collected.

When taxes are low, there's a lot more growth in the economy, and revenue actually grows.

Then there's the notion of fairness.

Fairness is an illusion held by spoiled children.

There is no way for any mortal being can re-shape the world into anything that is remotely fair, because fairness doesn't exist.  The Omni-Brains of Ollax 17 are smart enough to tell you that the absolute last digit of Pi is "3," and can calculate a complete audit of all the matter in the Universe in the space of an afternoon, but even they can't define what's fair.

I'm pretty certain that a politician who doesn't even know the legal precedents that he allegedly taught at university can't do it either.

FALLACY #2: DEFICIT REDUCTION

The revenue generated by the Buffett Rule will definitely close the deficit run up by the Obama Administration in 2011.

It will just take over 500 years to do it.

FALLACY #3: THE TARGETS

The Obama Administration and its wealthy cronies tell you that only they will be affected by the doubling of the capital gains tax.

That's what we aliens call a big fat load of grade A nerfle-shit. 

First, if you have a 401k or any other pension plan that's invested in the stock market, you are royally buggered. Because all the rich investors and corporations will pull all their money out before the Buffett Rule goes into effect, to put it all in something tax free like government bonds, or just ship it overseas.

Also anyone who wants to be the next Warren Buffett will be shit out of luck trying to get any investment capital for their projects.

Which brings us to...

FALLACY #4: NOBLESSE OBLIGE

The sage of Omaha says that he's only interested in "doing his fair share."  If that was the case, he's welcome to just donate all his many billions to the government, but there's no way he can profit from it that way.

Profit from the Buffett Rule?

Yes, he and his buddies stand to profit hugely from the Buffett Rule, and it's so simple, it's brilliant.

Remember, Buffett has tens of billions of dollars in personal wealth, and control of tens of billions more dollars in the reserves of his holding company Berkshire Hathaway.  

Pass the Buffett Rule so Buffett can rule!

That money has already been taxed, so it's all his, and not the government's.

When the Buffett Rule causes share values to crash, Buffett and his buddies will have vast resources to buy up whole companies at bargain basement prices, to hold until the next government rescinds the Buffett Rule and their value recovers.

So it looks like what Buffett claims to be a case of noblesse oblige is really just an elaborate scheme to use his political connections to suppress competition and profit hugely.

Is that clear?

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Reality Checks: Terrorist Or Psycho Asshole

Greetings puny Earthlings.

I'm taking a break from my retirement from blogging to offer a little reality check over the whole tragedy in Norway. Specifically the asshole behind it:

Anders Behring Breivik

Right now people on the Political Left are crowing that Norwegian mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik is the living proof that Christians are somehow exactly the same as Muslims when it comes to terrorism.

That's what we more evolved life forms call "horseshit."

Anders Behring Breivik is not a terrorist in the sense that is associated with Islamic Jihadi Terrorism, but more of a total lunatic asshole psycho shitbag.

Let's take a look at the facts:

To be a terrorist one has to belong to a movement, that means more than one person, that has an overarching dogma that is either political (Baader Meinhoff Gang), religious (Al Qaida/ Hezbollah), or a nationalistic combination of both (Provisional IRA) and an ultimate goal that might be impossible, but not completely insane. A terrorist also gets support, both physical and moral, from those who share the terrorist's beliefs and goals, even though they may not directly engage in terrorist activities themselves.

Anders Behring Breivik does not appear to belong to any group, and no group claims responsibility for him, though one Islamist terrorist faction did briefly claim his actions before retracting their statement. No one in the Christian or conservative community that the Left claims Anders Behring Breivik represents are rushing to support him. In fact, they condemn him and his actions entirely, not only because they were morally abhorrent, but also because they were stupid to the point of madness.

Anders Behring Breivik claims in his statements and his manifesto that he thinks his actions will somehow spur a nationalist Christian Crusade to drive the Muslims out of Norway, and reclaim it for the blonds of the world. That shows that he is either lying or really does know nothing about what he claims to be his religion or the people practicing it.

First, he blew up a building and then massacred children in cold blood because he claimed the political party running the government and the children's camp they were attending were too open to immigration from Islamic countries.

What is the only thing those kinds of evil actions will accomplish?

Exactly the opposite of what he claims to want.

The only result that could possible come from the actions of Anders Behring Breivik is that the Norwegian Labor Party becomes sanctified with the blood of innocent martyrs. It is now bullet-proof from any and all criticism, especially in the fields of immigration policy because anyone who dares differ from them on those issues, no matter how softly and rationally, will be slapped with the label of "Anders Behring Breivik - Psycho Racist Shitbag."

They will get re-elected, again and again, using Anders Behring Breivik against all opposition, until they follow the path of any party that's in power too long and become so bloated and corrupt not even the blood of innocent martyrs will save them from electoral oblivion. However, by then any damage will already be done and possibly too far gone to repair.

That proves that his stated goals were not just impossible, but downright insane.

If he was remotely sane, and actually believed in the religion he professed to belong to he would have taken an entirely different tack. One where he would have stated that Europe's policy of open immigration was a sham, making it easy to enter their country, but impossible to join their society. He would have told the world that European political correctness, poorly thought out welfare programs, and plain old bigotry imposed a state of soft segregation on immigrant communities, especially Muslim ones. Once segregated from the host country's social mainstream, they become isolated, and easily fall under the sway of "religious and community leaders" who spread radical hate-filled ideologies in exchange for generous funding from Middle Eastern dictatorships. That leads to poverty, radicalization, social upheaval, and real religious based terrorism.

If he followed that sane, Christian path, he'd be neither the terrorist the Left claims he is, or the Psycho Shit-Bag Walking Tumor that he really is, and all those dead people would be alive and enjoying their summer vacations.

Of course, that's only if we believe what Anders Behring Breivik has been telling us, and politics and religion may not have anything to do with this.

Anders Behring Breivik's stated goals may not be his real goals, because often what people cite as causes of their evil behavior, are really just excuses concocted by the perpetrator as some form of justification for being an asshole.

Even by terrorist standards his actions were bizarre. If he hated Muslims so much, why didn't he attack a mosque? Or an Islamic religious camp? Why didn't he attack some of Norway's local Islamic leaders?

When Islamic terrorist set out to kill Jews, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, or Muslim "apostates" they do just that. They don't say they're out to do one thing, then go out and do something else entirely. It wouldn't fulfill their impossible, but not completely insane goal of world conquest.

Anders Behring Breivik didn't go anywhere near the Muslim community that he claims he wants to drive out of his country. Instead, he set off a bomb in Oslo, and while the bomb was designed to kill, the deaths caused by it were just gravy to this bastard. I believe the real intention of Anders Behring Breivik, was to create the diversion he needed to obtain his real target, the kids at the summer camp.

I believe his ultimate goal was not some nationalistic, religious, or political statement, but the acting out of some sick personal fantasy. I believe that Anders Behring Breivik wanted to kill children, teenagers especially, and create social chaos that will make him a malignant legend in Norway for generations to come. All this chatter about immigration, politics, and religion is, in my opinion, just a smokescreen.

Of course that won't stop the Left from smearing their perceived enemies. Nothing can stop them from doing that, especially the truth.

Keep watching the skies, because despite the irregularity of our posts, we're still watching you.

Reality Checks: World Tour

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry for not posting so much, I've been busy, but I've manage to take a moment to drop a few reality checks on your lap.

JAPAN & NUCLEAR POWER:

Loads of people, especially in the media, are shitting kittens in panic over the ongoing troubles at the Fukushima nuclear power plant.

STOP IT ASSHOLES!

Seriously. Think it about for a second.

1. This is not Chernobyl. Even though the plant apparently has some management problems they are nowhere near the vodka sodden antics of Chernobyl's Communist era apparatchiks.

2. Japan has dozens of nuclear power plants. Only one is in danger. What does that tell you?

3. Radiation is not always a death sentence. Most of the time the treatment to exposure can be just having a shower and doing your laundry. At certain levels it can even be beneficial to the Earthling immune system.

So quit freaking everyone out.

Now that's settled, let's move onto to what Japan needs to do after the quake.

They need to stop being so damn complacent, and here's why:

Japan can't afford to be the home of the $100 head of lettuce anymore. Huge swathes of the nation's infrastructure has been either damaged, or completely destroyed. Prices are going to go up naturally because it's going to be more expensive to move food around the country. They don't need their spoiled brat farmers rioting for more protectionist trade laws because they don't want any competition.

Japan's a great exporter, but it takes forever to import anything, and if you do get in, it's got a truckload of tariffs on it no one can afford it. Japan needs to engage into a little economic shock therapy to get their economy out of its decades long doldrums, and get the reconstruction going faster.

They also need to start having more children. Their population's too old, and Japan's younger generation needs to stop obsessing about anime and get to work making some babies.

Really, I shouldn't have to tell you these things.

LIBYA, LIFE AFTER QADDAFI OR NOT

The west is currently enforcing a "no fly zone" in Libya, and bombing the Qaddafi faction's air force and armor in order to protect the rebels based out of Benghazi.

There is no guarantee that old Meltface Moammar is going to lose power. The Arab League called for his ouster, then when the missiles started flying, promptly shit their pants, said it was too much. While they like the idea of his ass being grass, they don't actually want someone from the outside their narrow little community of dictators to actually do it.

If they make enough of a stink the Europeans will back down, Obama's government will fold faster than the Flash on laundry day, the UN will blame it all on Israel, and Moammar will be on the comeback trail.

Now you're wondering how can someone make a comeback after seeing huge chunks of his country rise up against him, and those very same chunks back down, whimpering like freshly whipped dogs.

Simple: The will of Allah.

You see there's a fundamental difference between the Judeo-Christian influenced leadership tradition of the west, and the Islamic leadership tradition. Even those who claimed the "Divine Right of Kingship" in the western world were still bound by a certain set of unwritten rules. They needed to at least present a facade of being just, moral, and wise in order to appear worthy of that divine right, and to keep power.

If they failed to measure up to the appearance of being worthy, they were likely to be deemed unworthy and tossed, possibly from a window of the highest tower in the castle.

This is very different in the Islamic world.

In the Islamic world you don't need to display morality or wisdom to be deemed worthy of power, you just have to seize power. It doesn't matter if you murder your way to the top, the fact that you reached the top shows that you are fulfilling the Will of Allah.

People in the Islamic world may complain about your cruelty, tyranny, and despotism, but they pretty much take your shit and call it ice cream, because they think it is all the will of Allah. It is only when you show a sign of weakness do they think that Allah has changed his mind, and that it's time for someone new to become dictator.

If Qaddafi reasserts himself, thousands will die in his reprisal campaign, then it'll be back to the same old, same old, and the Islamic world will end up blaming it all on the West and Israel, when the real blame falls squarely on their own heads.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Reality Check: Egypt

Greeting puny Earthlings.

Time to take a moment to cash a reality check.

Right now the ancient land of the Pharaohs is in turmoil. Dictator, (that's what he is despite what Joe Biden says) Hosni Mubarak is too old, sick, and incompetent to keep the power that he's held onto for the past 30 years since the death of his predecessor Anwar Sadat. The people are rising up against his increasingly heavy handed in rule in the spirit of the recent overthrow of Tunisia's dictator.

Now while I normally support the ouster of dictators that are so stupid they can manage to still run their economy into the ground despite billions in annual foreign aid from the USA, there is a catch with this situation.

That catch is the Muslim Brotherhood.

Right now the opposition is dominated by factions calling for democracy and freedom and the Muslim Brotherhood is, for the most part, staying off the streets.

That's why Egyptians must be worried.

That's because the Brotherhood is waiting in the wings, letting the democratic factions take all the hits while they bide their time, marshal their forces, and when the time is right, they will strike and take over the Arab world's most populous and influential nation.

Then Egypt will be beyond screwed.

You think the Egyptian economy is bad now, think how bad it will be under the Brotherhood. The biggest source of foreign hard currency they have right now is tourism, will that industry keep going when the Brotherhood flattens the pyramids to build mosques, blow up ancient sites, drive out all archaeologists, and burn or smash the contents of their museums?

It won't.

They can also see an end to all that American aid that's kept the country from becoming a complete basket case.

The average Egyptian on the street might dislike the Yankee Imperialist Pig-Dog for propping up the Mubarak regime. However, they must remember that the Mubarak regime that was the only thing keeping Egypt in at least the 20th century, if not the 21st, and out of the 8th century that the Brotherhood wants.

My advice to the people that want to get rid of Mubarak:

Get rid of the Muslim Brotherhood first.

They are not your friends.

They are not in tune with the will of Allah, because if they were, why was Afghanistan, their model of a properly holy society, such a shit-hole.

All the Muslim Brotherhood wants is power, and they will spill gallons of your blood to get it.

So here's the plan.

Get rid of the Muslim Brotherhood.

Then get rid of Mubarak.

Then reform your government, economy, and even society, so Egypt can be more than a land with a lot of history, and transform it into a land with an actual future.

A Reality Check: Stick & Stones

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Words can kill.

It's true. In fact, if someone of my species says the word "feldspar" in just the right tone of voice, the heads of everyone within earshot will pop like zits.

However, things are different on your wretched little planet. You Earthlings love to talk and talk and talk, and you love to talk out of your asses as much as out of your mouths.

Lately you've been talking out of your asses about words. Take a look at these examples:

1. A publisher is releasing a bowdlerized version of Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn, eliminating the dread "N word" to get rid of the racism in a novel that was written as a statement against racism. Henceforth leaving the word for rappers the world over.

2. Canadian broadcast regulators have banned the original edit of Dire Straits' song "Money For Nothing" from radio for its use of the word "faggot." Suddenly giving radio stations an excuse to play the song after 25+ years.

3. The media and left-wing blogosphere rushed to shit kittens after the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords and the murder of 6 others blaming the "violent" "military" rhetoric of those pesky evil right wingers. It later turned out that the only rhetoric spurring that sick bastard on was the stuff being spoken in his head. That didn't matter, the left manufactured their version of events, and it will no doubt be cited whenever the case is referenced from now till doomsday.

Anyway, back to my point.

These three cases of either censorship, attempted censorship, or outright libel in an attempt to stifle free speech are all done in the name of saving lives. Those who lash out over words say that people hear or read these words, and that these words make them act violently towards their fellow man.

Well, here are some words for you: That's a lot of bullshit.

You see the words that "kill" the most are not rude names, or "violent" imagery. The deadliest words are the ones that claim that they are acting solely in the best interests of making the world a better place.

The history of the 20th-21st centuries are rife with obvious cases of dictators promising socialist/communist/Islamic utopias to motivate their followers to engage in mass slaughter, but I'd like to take a moment to discuss the lesser known moments when words coming out of the mouths of seemingly well meaning people have led to death and destruction.

This is Rachel Carson.

Her words have killed millions of people all over the world.

Did she used racist or homophobic language or so-called violent rhetoric?

Nope.

She wrote a book called Silent Spring which blamed the pesticide DDT for everything from cancer, thinning egg shells on bald eagles, to possibly the great fire of Rome, and practically invented the field of hysterical environmentalism that dominates academia, media and government today.

As it turned out, studies showed reduced rates of cancer among people exposed to DDT, the eagle egg problem came from the improper use of DDT as an agricultural pesticide, and not for the killing of malarial mosquitoes in stagnant ponds as it was designed for.

Yet her campaign against the chemical led to it being banned all over the world.

And millions of people in tropical nations died and continue to die from malaria every year.

Also the movement she helped spawn has helped hinder research into not just chemicals, but also medicine, and the use of resources that could have lifted millions out of poverty and suffering.

But she meant well, and I guess that's enough, because to the left, she's a saint.

Then there's Jenny McCarthy.

She meant well when she started a campaign to blame her son's autism on vaccines, based on a study that has now been exposed as a massive fraud and a hoax.

However, her campaign, and her response that anyone who dared question the study, or her assertions, were somehow in the pay of a sinister "vaccine lobby" led to who knows how many parents skipping vaccines for their children. What we do know is that your planet, especially North America saw an upshot in preventable diseases among children.

It may take years before you figure out how many of these children died because of their parent's desire to believe a minor celebrity conspiracy-theorizing about a barely understood field of medicine over rational scientific procedure, but I can tell you something you can bet dollars to zlotnorx on:

I believe that more people have died because of the rhetoric of Jenny McCarthy than have died because of the rhetoric of Sarah Palin.

Face it, a small percentage will believe anything that someone on TV tells them. 15% of people surveyed actually believed that Loughner dickweed was acting on orders from the Tea Party, a percentage believe that Dick Cheney blew up New Orleans' levees, and that the Jews working at the World Trade Center got phone calls to not go to work on 9.11. 2001.

There will always be people who will believe any shit that gets stuck in their ears, and when these people get into positions of power in government, academia, and the media, they can do a hell of a lot of damage with their so-called good intentioned words.

Way more damage than anyone can do with a rude name.

Keep watching the skies because we're watching you.

Reality Check: Arizona

I just saw the reports coming from Arizona about the mass shooting at a public appearance by Democratic Rep. Gabrielle Giffords by a man named Jared Loughner.

I'm not going to discuss the event itself. Right now the truth is buried in a flurry of conflicting reports and it could be days before we get anywhere near the real story, if it hasn't been already lost forever in a realm of urban myth.

What I am going to talk about is the rash of talk among the political left and its supporters calling for censorship of "inflammatory rhetoric" that they believe must be behind the shooting.

Here's a reality check:

WE DON'T KNOW WHY THE REAL REASON THIS GUY SHOT THOSE PEOPLE!

He could have been inflamed by political rhetoric, he could also have been inflamed by the voices in his head.

His motives may also not spring from alleged "incitements to violence" from the political right. His real target may have been the Republican appointed Federal Judge John Roll.

The point is WE DON'T KNOW.

WE MAY NEVER REALLY KNOW.

And I want those calling for censorship and regulation of "inflammatory speech" to ask themselves these questions:

What if this guy shot a Republican politician?

What if he was screaming "I did it all for you Keith Olbermann!" as the Secret Service took him down?

Would you still be demanding that free speech, the foundation of political liberty, be tossed out the window, or would you try to pawn it off as the work of a "lone nut," or still try to find a way to blame it on Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin?

If you had an ounce of honesty in yourself, you'd answer those questions, then you'd probably tone down your own rhetoric. Because those who demand censorship usually end up censored themselves in the end.

Reality Checks: IT'S A TRAP! Edition

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Time for some reality checks, and for that I brought my old college roomie Admiral Akbar to help me out. Ain't that right Akkie?
Oh, Akkie, you crack me up. But don't jump the gun just yet. Give me a chance to explain some of the traps folks are walking into.

First up:

DON'T ASK DON'T TELL

Now my empire has had gays in the military for centuries, but I can understand that the transition can be tricky. So I actually applaud the repeal of the inane Don't Ask Don't Tell Law, because.... Hit it Akky!

That's right.

All you hippies running around smoking pot and voting Democrat have just stuck your foot into a big fat bear trap. Why? Because you just lost your most popular excuse to get out of the draft.

"You can't draft me, because I like dudes!"

Well, that little excuse, or ploy, isn't going to get you out of uniform in any way that you're going to like. And remember how Democrats love their quotas and mandatory hiring, so expect an "Equality Draft" Bill sometime before 2012.

JULIAN ASSANGE

Julian Assange got bail, and is spending his free time over the Christmas holidays at the mansion of the parents of one of his journalist supporters.

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel that....
Come on, think about it people!

Haven't any of you people watched British television, or read any mystery novels?

Think about it, a man with a lot of enemies, political and personal, and a history of lechery, gets bail for a scandalous criminal charge and goes to spend the holidays at a wealthy family's country estate. This is the sort of thing that you just know is going to end up with a body in the conservatory next to a bloody candlestick.

There will be a lot of accusations, conspiracy theories, and then some short fat Belgian reveals that the real killer was just someone who was upset over Assange giving them chlamydia in 2003.

If Assange was a dorky upper class playboy with a horde of tyrannical aunts and no real enemies, it would be more of a PG Wodehouse, romantic farce, instead of the Agatha Christie plot-line he's put himself in.

And let's have a look at what will probably be the next trap to look for...

GAY MARRIAGE

Oh sure, Republicans and churches oppose it, so Democrats and Hollywood people are demanding it. However....
Thanks Akkie.

That's right. You see, about 20 years ago a Republican activist who was gay, thought gay marriage was the perfect way to win over the gay vote in the long term. You see people get married, they start families, buy homes, and then start voting Republican.

Gay activists were repelled by this idea, seeing it as the imposition of Republican ethics and values on their community. So the Republicans backed off, and started to oppose it, like gays in the military. Reverse psychology kicked in, and now gays are clamoring to join those Republican bastions of military personnel, and the married middle class, and Democrats are fighting like cats in a sack to shove them in. None of them realizing...
Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Reality Check: Leaky Edition

Greetings puny Earthlings....

Sorry I've been so lazy with posting lately, but to be blunt I have an intergalactic empire, and you people are apparently getting dumber. So I'm here to cash a reality check for you, this one about....

WIKILEAKS

I just saw that an arrest warrant was issued for Julian Assange the accused rapist and admitted leaker of classified documents for the enjoyment of terrorists and the dictators who love them.

I once was faced with a similar dilemma. Many years ago I was fighting a war against an insectoid race called the Zzz'Ach. The Zzz'Ach thought that all the other sentient races of the Universe existed to be their buffet, and steadfastly refused to live in peace with their neighbours. Naturally a very nasty war broke out requiring the reconquest of the entire Omaxian 3-123 Galaxy.

This chap named Grox thought I was being prejudiced against insectoid races, even though seventy-five thousand sentient insect species call my empire home as full citizens. He talked a low level clerk named Murg into leaking some of my war-plans and published them for all the Universe, including the Zzz'Ach to see.

I had Murg executed after a court martial and immediately issued a warrant for Grox's arrest. I can even quote the entire thing for you here, my warrant said: "Bring me his head."

Now I'm not a harsh man, I didn't order his murder. My android police simply detached his head from his body, plugged into into a life support sphere, and brought it to me. He's still around, in fact, we go bowling regularly. He doesn't seem to like bowling though.

Julian Assange and his minion Bradley Manning have openly declared themselves enemies of Western Civilization. That means that they are too be treated the same as the terrorists, dictators and pirates they seem to admire so much. I'm thinking Gitmo, military trial as enemy combatants, and then summary execution.

Or, the Americans could just use that death ray I left behind at Area 51 and melt him like a Nazi at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark during one of his press conferences. I know you have it. Just because I was drunk doesn't mean I'm forgetful.

If someone told Obama that Assange supported the Arizona immigration law he'd whip that thing out himself faster than he can spend a trillion dollars.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Reality Check: Cause Or An Excuse?

Greetings puny Earthlings.

I just got back from a trip hunting Trivolian Snarkpuds when I heard that Juan Williams had been fired from his post as a news analyst on NPR.
Yep, someone was able to fire that face. Of course as soon as I heard the news I asked why was he fired, and when I got the answer I was gobsmacked.

Apparently he was fired for offering his opinion.

Now I know that you Earthlings are a relatively primitive, savage, and fairly dim species as a whole, but I think even you know that it's the job of a news analyst to look at the news, analyze that news, and then offer their opinion.

But according to this woman...

Vivian Schiller

Offering opinions is not the job of an opinion giving analyst.

Really?

Of course that wasn't their first story. Frau Schiller She-Wolf of the NPR said that his admission to Bill O'Reilly that seeing openly Muslim men on airplanes made him nervous. He then went on to say how bad that made him feel and how wrong it is to be prejudiced and to deny anyone their constitutional rights... so on and so forth.

Next thing old Don Juan Williams knew, he was out at NPR, first for being a bigot, but when that seemed too silly, it was that whole giving an opinion foolishness.

Now mind you, if Juan said that seeing a Baptist minister and his family on a plane making him nervous he'd probably be promoted, but saying that about Muslims is a no no, because, well, the powers that be in NPR's little pocket dimension say so.

Of course it's not Juan Williams' alleged bigotry that the source of those jittery nerves but rather the bigotry of--

Guys like this
who apparently number in the hundreds of thousands around the world and do things like

this.

No amount of even NPR brand irrationality could justify classifying Juan Williams' statement as racist, or, as Frau Schiller has stated, something only to be shared with a psychiatrist. It also can't make anyone choke down the 'you can't give an opinion because you're an opinion journalist' story either.

No, all the blather spewing from the gaping maw of NPR is just that blather. There are not causes, but excuses.

You see Juan Williams has cause to feel the way he does, NPR is just hunting for an excuse to get rid of him.

Now why would they want to get rid of him?

I mean he is a flaming liberal, he supports the Democratic Party and its screwy platform, as well as most of the politically correct shibboleths that a taxpayer/Soros supported NPR on-air personality is supposed to believe.

The problem is that he was honest about his opinions. He debated his opinions on Fox News openly, and from a place of sincere belief. He also showed the integrity to discuss the opinions of others as just differing from his own, and not as the root of all that evil in the universe.

In other words, he showed too much honesty and integrity for NPR's liking and he did it in the court of crimson king himself Roger Ailes of Fox News.

It's time for the taxpayer to stop having their money pissed away on sinecures for political hacks like Frau Schiller, Nina Totenberg, and that paragon of pseudo-journalistic whoring the late and nowhere near great Daniel Schorr.

That put a target on his head, because the last thing the gauleiters of NPR believe is honest debate based on honest beliefs. NPR stands for using taxpayer dollars to promote and maintain the power of the extreme left-wing of the Democratic Party, and there's no room for any honesty and integrity in that stance.

It's good to see Roger Ailes swoop in to save the day, and offer Juan a full time job. Because while you may not agree with his beliefs, he really does believe them, and is willing to debate them, and not scream racism and stomp off like one of the petulant brats on The View.

Reality Check Time!: Court Jester Edition

Greetings puny Earthling...

Sorry I've been away for so long, but it's busy out here in my empire, otherwise known as the REST OF THE UNIVERSE, but I'm here to dispense my own brand of brutal reality checks. Today its all about:

JON STEWART & STEPHEN COLBERT

They made their names claiming to be rebel jesters who "spoke truth to power" and other such utterly meaningless bullshit, but now their true colors are showing.

They are not rebels, they don't speak truth to power, they simper and suck up to power as long as the people in power share their personal prejudices.

Think about these two questions:

A. Why was Stephen Colbert asked to testify at a hearing about illegal immigration, and to do it "in character" as a faux-conservative blowhard pundit? Why is Jon Stewart trying to put together what is essentially an anti-Tea Party rally in Washington?

B. Why do Colbert and Stewart agree to do these things?

Answers:

A. Colbert's character is how the left defines conservative pundits like Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck. If you ask most leftist to talk about those pundits they'll usually call them ignorant, bigoted, and constantly lying, but ask for anything specific, and they'll cite something Colbert said or did while "pretending" to be one. The Democrats want to make the rest of America think of Colbert and his antics whenever any real conservative pundit is mentioned, so they called him in.

Stewart's job is to dominate the media coverage with anti-Tea Party rhetoric as an election that could prove devastating to the Democratic Party approaches. He is also to create the illusion that the American people like having their health care, jobs, and everything else controlled by Washington bureaucrats in the hope that it will sway undecided voters.

B. Colbert and Stewart agreed to do these things because his ass is owned by three powerful forces:

1) The Viacom-Paramount-Comedy Central Axis.
2) The Elite Critics.
3) Entertainment community.

It's a simple fact that while the audience size for their shows are good for cable, aren't all that great compared to the Fox News juggernaut. That means that in order to keep their cushy hosting jobs, justify their high salaries, and keep other gigs coming they need to appease those three masters, and here's how:

While Stewart, Colbert, and the rest of the mainstream lap-dog media scream in horrified outrage that Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation donated to a Republican organization, the VPCC Axis, its dominant shareholder nonagenarian plutocrat billionaire Sumner Redstone, most of his senior staff, and on-air talent donate money, fund-raise, and actively campaign for Democratic Party candidates and causes.

The same is true of the elite critics and awards nominating voters in the entertainment community who grant respectability and labels of "genius" to guys who need twenty full time writers to sound glib and off the cuff. Anyone else with the same ratings would either be canceled or just considered minor players in the comedy scene, but with the critics and the rest of the media community singing their praises constantly, they are boxing in both prestige and salary beyond their weight class.

Now some may say things like: "Oh, they make jokes about Obama now, so they're all right." But that's a little off topic. They are only doing that in order to save what little integrity they have left with an increasingly dissatisfied audience, but otherwise have to dance to their master's tune. It's just that simple.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Random Rambling Reality Checks...

Greetings puny Earthlings...

Time to cash some reality checks... let's get started...

1. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi wants a federal investigation to find out who is behind the funding of the opposition to the Ground Zero Islamist Victory Mosque & Handball Court. She is pretty certain that there is a sinister conspiracy of shady businessmen behind such opposition.

Why?

Because she's a Democrat, and everything they support or propose is the product of a sinister conspiracy of shady businessmen. Think health care reform, and you have a cabal of pharmaceutical and insurance companies looking to bloat themselves off the taxpayer's teat. Think Global Warming/Cap & Trade, and you have any number of schemes for everything from carbon credits to bogus 'green jobs' all needing fat government subsidies doling out cash to the already wealthy. It goes on and on.

Even the anti-war movement had financial connections to shady businessmen enriching themselves from violating the Saddam era sanctions.

When Nancy Pelosi sees someone criticizing what they support, they automatically assume that it's the product of the exact same machinations that run their own party.

So Pot, meet Kettle.

2. A common analogy in the Ground Zero Victory Mosque & International House of Falafel debate is that it's like building a Shinto Shrine honoring the Emperor Hirohito in Pearl Harbor.

Well, there's a little more to that.

It's exactly like a Shinto Shrine honoring the Emperor Hirohito built in Pearl Harbor in 1943. Remember, they may have pulled out of direct combat in Iraq, but radical Islamists are still killing, trying to kill, or plotting to kill people all over your wretched little blue-green rock as punishment for the crime of being different from them.

So, when they start crying racism and 'Islamophobia' it's another case of pot meeting kettle.

3. We at the MoxArgon Group are looking for questions. So if you need answers, then come to us and we'll cram them in your brain. So leave them in the comments.

Reality Check: On Mosques

Greetings puny Earthlings.

There's a lot of chatter going on about the proposed Islamic Mosque/Community Center that a group wants to build pretty much adjacent to the site of the 9/11/2001 attack.

This issues calls for a reality check so let's look at the reasons why and why not.

Here is the main argument for building the mosque at Ground Zero used by its supporters:

1. If you don't love the mosque you're a dirty racist.

Here are the reasons why it shouldn't be built.

1. Feisal Abdul Rauf, the Imam in the forefront of the project. He claims to be a moderate Muslim, who sort of kind of maybe condemned the 9/11 attack, but said America probably did something to deserve it anyway, and he also claims to be unable to tell Hamas from a hole in the ground.

2. We know very little about the backers of this project. Only that they wield a lot of money, and scream racism whenever anyone asks any questions about them or their sources of capital. Let's not forget The Holy Land Foundation, an Islamic charity with a similar opaque structure that was up to its neck in terrorist financing. I know it seems unfair to target organizations promoting one specific religion for such scrutiny, but right now the Presbyterian and Buddhist charities aren't paying for terrorism and propaganda that promotes it.

3. In Islamic tradition the main reason for building a mosque on the site of an Islam inspired mass murder is not to built links between communities, or pray for the souls of the lost. It's to assert a message of Islamic victory and supremacy, no doubt to be used in Al Qaida propaganda looming over the wreckage of the Twin Towers.

4. They named the project as a reminder of Islamic rule of the Spanish city of Cordoba, claiming it marks a time of goodwill, tolerance, and brotherhood. Cordoba did have that, for a little while, but a few decades are used to whitewash centuries of oppression, intolerance, and brutality.

5. The builders of this project claim that Greg Gutfeld's plan to build a Muslim friendly gay bar next door doesn't take into their account Muslim sensibilities. What does that tell you about the people behind this project? It shows that their sensibilities are the only ones that matter, because they don't give a rat's ass about the sensibilities of New Yorkers who lost 3,000 of their friends and neighbors in the name of Islam.

6. Speaking of sensibilities, Muslim sensibilities generally forbid the building of ANY buildings for servicing any religion other than Islam. If they predate Islamic conquest, then under the dhimmi laws they cannot be expanded, or in many cases maintained, in any way because that's seen as an insult to Islam. These buildings, and the people who worship in them are also regularly subjected to vandalism, harassment, and even violence in the name of preserving Islam's honor.

And yet if you don't like the Ground Zero Mosque, then YOU are the bigot.

They are free to build mosques, that is their right in a free, non-Islamic society, but they are not free to play nasty politically correct games to tear down the society that allows them the freedom they are currently enjoying.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Knees Jerking

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry we've been so lazy posting lately. But it looks like we have another question, at least I think it's another question:

trent reker said...nice. we're all about superior cultures that can't spell or punctuate in the language they choose to use for their world domination scheme. are you sure you didn't get a spaceship from spacedad and take off for a weekend to see how many free drinks you could get in vegas?

And I should take lessons in Earthling grammar from someone who apparently doesn't believe in capital letters?

I could say that any grammatical errors I may have made come from Earthling English being my 6 billionth language, but those who have been with this blog since the beginning have noticed a marked improvement in the translating. So I'll just put your comment in the old circular file marked "Troll Scraps," and get down to business.

__________________

1. There's a whole lot of talk going on about the Shirley Sherrod, the rural affairs bureaucrat who had some comments from a speech sent, out of context, to internet media mogul Andrew Breitbart. Breitbart posted them, the White House went bug-shit, fired Sherrod, found out the full story, then rehired her, slandered Breitbart & Fox News for reporting the story.

Now as an intergalactic ruler, things being taken out of context by speakers happen all the time, but my minions always investigate the claims before firing anyone. It's just cheaper than all the other rigmarole, so why didn't the White House do it?

Because it was so believable.

Remember, this is the same White House that tried to get Van Jones, a self-proclaimed Marxist Truther as their "Green Jobs Czar."

The same White House whose partisan minions in the NAACP decided to forgo the real issues facing African Americans, like black on black violent crime, high rates of family disintegration, and crumbling public education systems, to brand the Tea Party movement racist.

The same White House that appointed AG Eric Holder, whose Justice Department decided that justice doesn't include stopping nut-bar racist New Black Panther Party thugs from threatening voters even after they've been convicted.

The list goes on, and on, and on. Which makes you wonder how they managed to cram in so much hypocrisy in less than two years in office. So you can understand why the Obama administration moved so quickly and clumsily to fire her without even investigating the allegations.

The cherry on top of this whole issue was when Shirley Sherrod went on TV and proved Breitbart right after all when she accused him of wanting to take America back to slavery.

_____________

2. Journolist was a by-invitation-only private e-mail thingy where liberal leaning journalists, intellectuals (I use that term loosely) and like minded semi-thinkers could share recipes for organic home-made granola cookies, bury stories about Obama and his racist Pastor, plot to destroy Sarah Palin, conspiracies to slander government critics as racist, and violent Rush Limbaugh death fantasies.

Why are people surprised?

Look at what liberal talk radio host Mike Malloy says in public:

Murdoch is a Nazi; Murdoch is a Nazi! And everyone that works for him is a potential murderer! Do you not -- do you not get that? Why does anybody in this administration pay any attention whatsoever to anything these people say? They shouldn't be listened to; they should be dragged into the street and pummeled! And I'd be very happy to be the first person to do it.

And we expect them to be any more polite when they're among their own brain-dead, morally bankrupt, fascistic kind?

Despite their claims of love of civil liberties, free speech, and other constitutional rights, the Leftist Mind is, at its core, a fascistic mind that sees the world in hard Manichean terms. They are so certain that they are correct in every way, those who may differ from them are not only wrong, they are actively evil and in the pay of some sinister force bent on world destruction.

Well as a sinister force bent on world destruction, I can tell you that I ain't paying anyone on your puny little planet.

This is the same profession that honors the recently deceased Daniel Schorr, who outlived his journalistic integrity by about 60 years. They tend to gloss over that he was a partisan hack, who deliberately fabricated a story on the CBS National News that claimed Republican presidential candidate Barry Goldwater was going to Germany to a secret Neo-Nazi conference to get his orders on destroying America.

The simple fact that he wasn't tarred, feathered, and run out of the profession of journalism, but instead given a cushy spot as a grey eminence suckling on the taxpayer subsidized teat of National Public Radio illustrates the state of the media today.

Journalism is dying, because journalism killed itself when it shifted from at least being open about their biases, to claiming their biases were in fact objective reality and the sum of all morality. All it cares about is getting and keeping power for its political masters, nothing more, and truth has nothing to do with it.

People want opinion presented by pundits, not reporters, and are fleeing the old media in droves because they know that they are not getting the truth, or any discussion about what might be true. They are not reporters, they are whores, and you don't get your news from whores.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

Are You A Peace Activist?

Greetings puny Earthlings...

There's a lot of chatter going on about the flotilla of "peace activists" who were stopped from dropping off their boatload of supplies in Gaza so Hamas can keep spending the food money on rockets to launch at Israeli kindergartens. People in the media are calling the people on the boat "peace activists" and the Israeli military "terrorists" while the Israelis and those who support their survival are calling the boat people "terrorist supporters."

Now I like to clear up confusion, I've composed a little test to determine if you are a peace activist, a terrorist, or a person protecting innocent lives.

PEACE ACTIVIST/TERRORIST

1. You have a boat full of supplies for Gaza. You are requested by the Israeli government to dock so your cargo can be checked for weapons, and Israel offers to transport all non-military aid to be sent into Gaza. What do you do?

A) Dock and arrange for a trusted outside agency to supervise the inspection and shipment of aid supplies into Gaza.

B) Respond that you are damning all blockades and will charge into Gaza or die a martyr.

2. The Israeli military has boarded your boat to take it into port for inspection for weapons. What do you do?

A) Have a sit in and sing "We shall overcome" while the Israelis inspect your boats.

B) Assault the Israeli troops screaming "Allah akbar" with metal bars and knives, tossing them overboard, and grabbing their guns in the hope of creating a violent international incident.

3. Your peace group acted like a pack of homicidal maniacs against the Israelis, and got a lot of people killed, wounded, and arrested. What do you do?

A) Decry the violent actions of your own group and beg Israel for forgiveness in the hope that it might open doors for some sort of peaceful coexistence.

B) Call the Israelis "terrorists" and scream for bloody vengeance against the Jewish state and Jewish people in general.

If you answered "A" to these three questions you are a PEACE ACTIVIST.

If you answered "B" to these three questions you are a TERRORIST SUPPORTER.

TERRORIST/ DEFENDER

1. A flotilla of terrorist supporters and the Eurotrash activists that love them are sailing right into Gaza in violation of a security blockade. They are refusing to go into port where their supplies will be shipped after inspection, and are screaming for martyrdom. What do you do?

A) Board the vessels with lightly armed commandos in the hope that the ships can be redirected safely.

B) Blast the flotilla into splinters, and tell the world that the boats were full of explosives meant for Hamas that were accidentally set off.

2. The commandos you sent onto the ships were assaulted, their non-lethal weapons overcome, and their lethal sidearms taken. What do you do?

A) Return fire, but try to minimize casualties.

B) Leave the ships, then sink them, and machine gun anyone who tries to swim away.

3. You have captured a bunch of foreigners who participated in the assault on the Israeli commandos. What do you do?

A) Arrest them, but instead of jailing them, deport them to their home countries.

B) Toss them into a deep, dark dungeon where they are vigorously tortured for information, then executed when their usefulness is spent.

If you answered "A" to these three questions, then you are a DEFENDER trying to protect human life.

If you answered "B" to these three questions. you're probably one of the Middle Eastern dictatorships that surround Israel.

The Leftist Mind: Nukes For Thee, But Not For Me

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry for the light posting lately, but I've been a very lazy overlord.

But I think it's safe to dip our toe into that cesspit known as the Leftist Mind, and this time I'm going for the nuclear option.

For decades the simplest part of American foreign policy was the country's nuclear posture. It basically said that any country, or agents of said country, that attacks the USA with nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons, would get the living shit nuked out of them.

This is actually a very sound policy, and one followed by American presidents for decades. Even Jimmy Carter signed off on it. But current prez Barack Obama decides that striking back at America's foreign enemies with the biggest bottle of whoop-ass Earthlings can muster is just a little too rough and tumble for him.

His new policy is that if a country attacks the USA with biological or chemical weapons, he will have his lawyers check their paperwork to see if that country is compliant with international nuclear non-proliferation treaties. If they have their no-nuke papers filed with the proper international body, then they won't have to face the ultimate sanction, and instead have to face some sort of conventional reprisal.

To translate: Imagine an American city completely depopulated with some nasty lab-created super-germ. Everyone, and I mean hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, in that city is dead, and some have become zombies thanks to this attack. The nasty super-germ was made in a lab in a country called Shitholistand.

President Obama, faced with a city of corpses, immediately dispatches his lawyers to make sure that Shitholistan hasn't been making nukes along with their super-germs. If they're declared nuke free by the United Nations, then Obama has the option of lobbing a few conventional bombs at the country, doing nothing but kill a few token civilians deliberately put in harm's way by the Grand Poobah of Shitholistan, or he can send in troops, so they can all be exposed to Shitholistan's collection of nasty viruses and bacterium.

Pres. Obama has effectively tied America's swift right hand behind its back.

Why?

Because Pres. Obama is a leftist, and here is how leftists think.

1. Leftists believe that the USA is an imperialist power that oppresses, abuses, and has actually nuked poor innocent non-Americans for no other reason than simple racism.

In short, he thinks like Tom Hanks. I'll bet dinars to donuts that Obama is convinced that Truman OK'ed the nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki because he wanted to "annihilate" the "other" for daring to be ethnically different. Completely forgetting that the Japanese of the 1940s were a 100% militarized society, hardened by decades of Asian conquests, whose soldiers fought like demons and didn't whine like pussy little Al Qaida bitches that the Yankees were mean to them on the rare instances they were captured alive. And let's not forget that Japan also started the war

2. Leftists think that if you're weak, then you will be loved.

Sure, and unicorns will frolic in green fields. You see, the Leftist sees the world as a zero-sum game. America is prosperous not because of its individual liberty and industrious population. It is prosperous because it must have taken that wealth from someone else. The same goes with strength. To the leftist America cannot create strength, it has to steal it, by bullying poor innocent people like the Iranian Mullahs.

So, by their logic, if America is weak, then the oppressed will love them, and no longer attack.

WRONG!

If America is weak, then those Obama likes to call "outliers" like Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong Ill, and all the other tin-pot dictators will see it as a big fat target unwilling and unable to fight back, and they will all go for a piece.

3. The leftist doesn't believe in truth. Decades of "post-modern" intellectual nihilism has created a generation, now sitting in Washington, that thinks that there is no such thing as truth, or such "black & white" concepts like right and wrong. To them there is only opinion, and all opinion is valid, even if spat out by a delusional paranoiac hallucinating golden showers in the UN, while preparing to bring about his personal messiah by slaughtering as many people as possible.

This means that a leftist is perfectly able to decry fellow Americans as "racists," "sexists," "homophobes," and "terrorists" while completely ignoring real, and violent racist, sexist, homophobic terrorists who publicly declare their intentions and attitudes.

Those people are forgiven, or excused, because they are "oppressed" because someone from the evil imperialist West did something mean to one of their ancestors, and not because their own leadership consists of a gaggle of certifiable psychopaths.

Now I'd like to go back to the advantage of having a nuclear option.

As you know, I'm the Supreme Overlord of the Known Universe. Now that position means that a lot of little piss-pots are always trying to do something nasty to become the next alpha dog. There is one thing that keeps those piss-pots at bay.

And that is making them think you're fucking out of your fucking mind.

Making your enemies think you're crazy, and fully capable of unleashing the unspeakable upon them for looking at you cockeyed is a wonderful way of making them think twice before doing something stupid. Dictators are all the same, they'll gladly kill thousands of the innocent, but threaten to irradiate their own innards with the heat of a thousand suns, and they tend to chill out.

To do that right, you have to keep all your options open. Because someone who refuses certain ways of striking back, even when justified, is just going to get hit, again, and again.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.
by attacking Pearl Harbor.

Let Me Explain Myself

A
SPECIAL GUEST
COMMENTARY BY
REP. BART STUPAK
(D-Mich)

Hi there everyone.

It's me, Bart Stupak, the man who sold out his vote and his pro-life ideals on Obamacare in exchange for a flimsy little executive order that's not even worth the toilet paper it was written on.

Well, I guess I should explain myself, and why I flipped on the flop of Obamacare.

I'm a Democrat.

That should explain everything, but I guess it needs a little clarification.

1. Democrats obey their masters. We could have done serious tort reform, we could have opened up the market to free-competition, and we could have created inexpensive options for cheap catastrophic health insurance. But that would have helped voters, and not helped us. Our masters are the civil attorneys looking to protect their crazy lawsuits, the insurance companies looking to us for subsidies and protection of their little monopolies, radical leftists demanding the destruction of America's economy, and hedge fund speculators looking to profit from America's economic collapse.

Voters will always vote for us because the media will tell them to vote for us, and that's because deep down, the voters are sheep. So we can just ignore them, but if we day to disobey our real masters, well, then I won't get that lobbying job I need to pay to send my family to private clinics in India for health care once America's go completely to shit.

2. Democrats love power. Let me tell you something, look at every country that has nationalized health care, then look at what political party put in that nationalized medicine, and then look how they tend to dominate the elections in those countries. It's true, and while they may get voted out from time to time, they will always come back for the majority of elections.

Why? Because voters will be dependent on the state, and through the state the party that gave it to them, and fearful of giving any real power to anyone that might cancel their goodies.

So what if it's unconstitutional?

So what if it bankrupts the country for generations to come?

So what if I sold out everything I claimed to hold dear?

I'm a Democrat, which makes me the whore of power, and that's all you need to know.

A Few Reality Checks...

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry we've been away for a while. Xran got married (again) and the bachelor party ended with us waking up in Vegas with a wicked hangover, a missing groom, and some legal situations that took time to hush up. So we're back with a new reality check for you to cash:

HEALTH CARE REFORM: The Democrats seem obsessed with digging up every sob story about every person who ever got screwed over by an insurance company, or driven into debt by medical bills as some sort of proof that the free market has failed in the field of health care.

Except there's one problem with that little assertion:

THERE NEVER HAS BEEN A FREE MARKET IN AMERICAN HEALTH CARE

The system is regulated so that each state has specific regulations for who can operate in their state, and how they can operate. The insurance companies love this because it ensures that they can create networks of mini-monopolies, set prices at whim, and never have to worry about any real competition, because the government will actively use these regulations to block it for them.

Despite what Obama and his minions say, the opposition is not backed by some sinister insurance company cabal. The insurance companies actually support Obamacare because it protects their monopolies, gives them access to trillions in government subsidies, and has enough loopholes nestled deep within its 2000+ pages to make sure they don't have to change a damn thing about how they operate, or treat their customers.

What the insurance companies are scared of is what those pesky Tea Partiers want. I'm talking about being able to buy insurance across state lines, younger people foregoing everyday health insurance in favour of cheaper catastrophic health insurance, or the insurance companies being forced to actually compete for customers and their business.

But all Obama can do is trot out the story of the person going around with their dead sibling's dentures, because he knows, that arguing on the true merits of his seizure of 1/6 of the USA economy is a tactical blunder. There are no merits to this plan, just a lot of empty promises, and increasing debt.

I'm here to help you ACORN

Greetings puny Earthlings...

It has come to my attention that ACORN, the group that backed everything from Barack Obama's political career, to underage brothels in sting videos, is breaking up as a national organization.

Actually, that's a tad inaccurate. ACORN is merely rearranging, and renaming elements of their labyrinthine corporate structure to keep on doing that thing they do. Which is to help corrupt politicians expand their power, cripple the economy, and perpetuate class and racial differences.

So I'm now going to help ACORN find a new name, one that tells more about what they do than their old name of Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now. This is because I'm the helpful sort.

C.R.A.P.
Corrupt Radicals Aiding Politicians

F.A.R.T.
Fraternal Association of Reprobate Transgressors

P.A.P.S.M.E.A.R.
Pseudo Activists Pushing Socialist Mobsters in Elections And Re-elections

T.A.R.D.
Tainted Activists Ruining Democracy

P.O.O.P.
Plutocrats Owning Opportunistic Politicians

If you have your own suggestions, then please let us know.