The Olbermann Report: Dissent Is The Lowest Form of Terrorism

Good evening America. It's me, Keith Olbermann, America's only true voice of reason. I'm here to tell you about a wave of pure, distilled evil that is sweeping over this wretched cess-pit of a country.
I'm talking about those EVIL TEA-BAGGING FASCISTS, who are ALL, and I mean EACH & EVERY ONE OF THEM, THREATENING BRUTAL SLAUGHTER & USING VILE RACIST SLURS against the saintly politicians of the Democratic Party who are giving them the gift of government controlled health care.
These people must be stopped! The rights of free speech and free assembly must be taken away from these sociopath maniacs BEFORE MORE PEOPLE ARE SLAUGHTERED BY THESE ROAMING LYNCH MOBS OF RACIST HATRED!!
Of course I use the figure of speech "slaughtered by roaming lynch mobs of racial hatred" in the metaphorical sense, because no one has actually been hurt, let alone killed, and no one has yet to find a recording of the racist language, but that doesn't matter.
What matters is that these people are dissenting from the state. Dissent is the lowest form of terrorism known to humanity. They must know that it is a wonderful thing that the Federal government is going to seize control of their health care and make it as efficient as the DMV, or the Postal Service.
The Democrats are giving this nation a debt that will cripple it for generations to come for it's own goddamn good, and these tea bagging retards are just too... um... retarded to see it. Which is why we must suppress these Tea-Baggers who are all issuing death threats against politicians in an unprecedented wave of political violence.
Of course I use that figure of speech metaphorically. I mean a few threatening phone calls and notes, a politician's relative having car trouble, and some yelling at protest are pretty much isolated incidents, and really don't compare to the unreported violence committed by Leftists physically attacking delegates and their vehicles at the 2008 Republican convention, the shots fired at the office of Republican Representative Eric Cantor, or even the more numerous threats received by flip-flopper Bart Stupak for not supporting Obamacare. But this is MSNBC, and we're the news network where if the facts don't match our agenda, we ignore them.
So take my advice America, just shut up, accept the Democrat's unconstitutional grab of 1/6 of the nation's economy, the crippling debt, and the inevitable skyrocketing taxes. This is all part of making America equal to a truly great nation, like Belgium. Because if you dare to speak your mind....


PS: Bill O'Reilly is Hitler. Goodnight.


The Leftist Mind: Pot Meet Kettle

Greetings puny Earthlings.

If all you watch is the mainstream media you'd think that America is being rocked with an unprecedented wave of threats against politicians, and that it's solely the work of angry right wing racist "tea-baggers" terrorizing innocent and pure Democrats who are only trying to make the world a utopia.

Excuse me, but I just have to call bullshit on this one.

Anyone with a brain will remember that the past decade was dominated with a wide variety of murder fantasies aimed at George W. Bush, his cabinet, his family, and anyone that sided with him on any issue. Major novels and even feature films were made about these fantasies.

Which brings us to a major dichotomy in the Leftist mind.

Threaten a conservative- You're a freedom fighter practicing your right to free expression.

Threaten a liberal- You're a domestic terrorist who is 100 times worse than Osama Bin Laden & Hitler combined, and all conservatives must now be associated with you for all time.

Now I personally think that those who make death threats against politicians aren't really working for a cause, they're just looking for an excuse to threaten someone, because that's where they really get their jollies. Those kind of people have no place in a serious discussion of a serious issue, and should be ignored by everyone but the police who should give them a good firm beating about the head with cricket bats.

Which brings me to the other part of this fiasco, and that's the mainstream media.

Let's look at the points:

1. Bart Stupak has been threatened for
voting for Obamacare, but before his flip-flop he was being threatened for opposing Obamacare. Why weren't those threats reported?

2. Republican Rep. Eric Cantor, who opposes Obamacare, has had an actual gun fired at his campaign office. Why is that being ignored?

3. Despite the threats being performed by fringe dwelling troglodytes with brains and genitals comparable in size to lima beans, ALL CONSERVATIVES & CRITICS OF OBAMACARE are being branded as participating in these threats without trial, or evidence. Why is this slander allowed to go on?

Well there are two possible reasons:

1. Democrats are whiny little cry-babies.

2. Democrats & their media catamites want to lay the groundwork for some future oppression of the free speech rights of those who dare to criticize them. Why? Because the truth will only set them free from their jobs, and if they are to realize their dream of making America a government dependent one-party state, they have to quash any and all criticism.

Nothing quashes criticism better than branding critics as terrorists, whether they threaten anyone or not.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


Let Me Explain Myself




Hi there everyone.

It's me, Bart Stupak, the man who sold out his vote and his pro-life ideals on Obamacare in exchange for a flimsy little executive order that's not even worth the toilet paper it was written on.

Well, I guess I should explain myself, and why I flipped on the flop of Obamacare.

I'm a Democrat.

That should explain everything, but I guess it needs a little clarification.

1. Democrats obey their masters. We could have done serious tort reform, we could have opened up the market to free-competition, and we could have created inexpensive options for cheap catastrophic health insurance. But that would have helped voters, and not helped us. Our masters are the civil attorneys looking to protect their crazy lawsuits, the insurance companies looking to us for subsidies and protection of their little monopolies, radical leftists demanding the destruction of America's economy, and hedge fund speculators looking to profit from America's economic collapse.

Voters will always vote for us because the media will tell them to vote for us, and that's because deep down, the voters are sheep. So we can just ignore them, but if we day to disobey our real masters, well, then I won't get that lobbying job I need to pay to send my family to private clinics in India for health care once America's go completely to shit.

2. Democrats love power. Let me tell you something, look at every country that has nationalized health care, then look at what political party put in that nationalized medicine, and then look how they tend to dominate the elections in those countries. It's true, and while they may get voted out from time to time, they will always come back for the majority of elections.

Why? Because voters will be dependent on the state, and through the state the party that gave it to them, and fearful of giving any real power to anyone that might cancel their goodies.

So what if it's unconstitutional?

So what if it bankrupts the country for generations to come?

So what if I sold out everything I claimed to hold dear?

I'm a Democrat, which makes me the whore of power, and that's all you need to know.


A Few Reality Checks...

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry we've been away for a while. Xran got married (again) and the bachelor party ended with us waking up in Vegas with a wicked hangover, a missing groom, and some legal situations that took time to hush up. So we're back with a new reality check for you to cash:

HEALTH CARE REFORM: The Democrats seem obsessed with digging up every sob story about every person who ever got screwed over by an insurance company, or driven into debt by medical bills as some sort of proof that the free market has failed in the field of health care.

Except there's one problem with that little assertion:


The system is regulated so that each state has specific regulations for who can operate in their state, and how they can operate. The insurance companies love this because it ensures that they can create networks of mini-monopolies, set prices at whim, and never have to worry about any real competition, because the government will actively use these regulations to block it for them.

Despite what Obama and his minions say, the opposition is not backed by some sinister insurance company cabal. The insurance companies actually support Obamacare because it protects their monopolies, gives them access to trillions in government subsidies, and has enough loopholes nestled deep within its 2000+ pages to make sure they don't have to change a damn thing about how they operate, or treat their customers.

What the insurance companies are scared of is what those pesky Tea Partiers want. I'm talking about being able to buy insurance across state lines, younger people foregoing everyday health insurance in favour of cheaper catastrophic health insurance, or the insurance companies being forced to actually compete for customers and their business.

But all Obama can do is trot out the story of the person going around with their dead sibling's dentures, because he knows, that arguing on the true merits of his seizure of 1/6 of the USA economy is a tactical blunder. There are no merits to this plan, just a lot of empty promises, and increasing debt.