SNOTGLOB- And I'm Snotglob T. Mutant from the Left.
TEKTAK- First topic today is the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama has officially disowned his mentor and pastor of over twenty years after a rather.... hmmm... how to put this politely? ....screwy series of speeches about everything from phrenology in race relations, to the nature of his most famous congregant.
SNOTGLOB- You're a racist!
TEKTAK- How am I a racist? I'm not even human.
SNOTGLOB- You're a racist by calling Wright's speeches "screwy." He was merely discussing basic scientific facts.
TEKTAK- Snotglob you ignorant hermaphrodite slut! The only reason Wright wasn't carted away to the loony bin over those speeches was because the men with the butterfly nets are scared of being called racists by morons like you. If a white man made such strange and broad declarations about the differences between blacks and whites, he'd be tarred and feathered, and rightfully so! Do you know why? Because such theories are screwy!
SNOTGLOB- Yeah, but Wright practices black liberation theology. That means it's okay for him to say things like that.
TEKTAK- You're not doing a very good job Snotglob.
SNOTGLOB- Good job of what?
TEKTAK- Of giving me an excuse to not shoot you.
SNOTGLOB- I'm just speaking truth to power.
TEKTAK- It's a good think Moxargon's on Earth, or he'd kick your ass for using that phrase. Next topic: Howard Dean and other Democrats insist on smearing McCain by deliberately misinterpreting, misleading, and outright lying about the whole "100 years of war" statement.
SNOTGLOB- I don't see anything wrong about that.
TEKTAK- They're deliberately lying about what McCain said! That's very wrong!
SNOTGLOB- Yeah, but didn't a great Earthling socialist state that if you lied often enough, and loud enough it eventually becomes the truth.
TEKTAK- You're talking about Josef Goebbels. He was a Nazi propagandist who helped create the Holocaust and World War 2.
SNOTGLOB- So a socialist made a few mistakes, that's why pencils have erasers. So folks, just let the Democrats keep lying about America being at war for 100 years and it will become true.
TEKTAK- In a way it just might. Especially if Democrats win the White House and Congress. What McCain meant is a presence in Iraq not unlike the American presence in Germany and Japan. Not 100 years of open war.
SNOTGLOB- Peace now! The quickest way to end a war is to lose it!
TEKTAK- For the first time in your life, you've said something accurate, so we're going to wrap it up for now, so until next time, stay on point.