Remulak was supposed to do a piece about Harry Reid today, but he logged onto Hot Air and saw the video of Michelle Malkin dressed like a cheerleader and now won't leave his office, so I'm going to fill in with an entertainment report.
Rosie O'Donnell has announced that she will be leaving daily chat-fest The View after a year of public feuds, offensive behavior, and crackpot conspiracy theories.
Now she won't be leaving completely. She claims that she will be making occasional visits, but that's unlikely, considering the money she will demand for these visits.
So now the question arises, who will replace Rosie.
Being an eminently logical being, trapped analyzing an illogical business I have composed a list of possible replacements for Rosie O'Donnell.
CINDY SHEEHAN- She's a paranoid, possibly anti-Semitic, attention mongering narcissist who thinks the whole world and all that happens in it revolves around her. Personality wise, she won't be very different from Rosie.
JABBA THE HUTT- Got a great personality, does really good with interviews and will fit comfortably in Rosie O'Donnell's chair. However, Jabba doesn't tolerate idiots lightly and will probably toss Joy Behar into the Rancor pit. Which could be a ratings winner if promoted properly.
LAURIE DAVID- Trophy wife of TV comedy gazillionaire Larry David, the man with two first names and producer of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. She's self righteous, rude to people she considers 'criminals' who all seem to be Republicans, has no real knowledge of world issues outside of Daily Kos and also happens to be a complete and total hypocrite about the environment.
Now all of these candidates seem perfect replacements for Ms. O'Donnell, but after much computing I think I found I found someone who is a totally perfect match for Ms. O'Donnell.
EUGENE DRIBBLE- He lives in a dumpster behind a Taco Bell in Tarzana California. He believes in all the same things that Rosie believes in.
He thinks Republicans are evil and behind 9/11, that he's the only person who should be allowed to own guns, and that Donald Trump is a bad businessman. In fact, he thinks Donald Trump taps his brain with a neural scanner that he keeps it in his desk so he can steal his ideas.
He's more affordable than Rosie, instead of demanding $10 million a year, he's willing to work for food, and I think Barbara Walters will like the improved smell.
Who do you think should replace Rosie?