VOX POPLAR- Hello, and welcome to the premiere edition of Hollywood Roundtable. The blog where the hard hitting issues of the day are discussed by the people who understand them best, Hollywood people. I'm your host, Vox Poplar, blogger and token Earthling correspondent for the MoxArgon Group. Joining me today is actor, activist, comedian, talk-show host, and haiku poet Rosie O'Donnell.
ROSIE O'DONNELL- bush is real terrorist
gulf of Tonkin
VOX POPLAR- Oscar winning actor, activist and friend to dictators the world over Sean Penn.
SEAN PENN- This administration is the most obscenely criminally...um... criminal government the world has ever known.
VOX POPLAR- Oscar winning writer, activist and creator of Walker: Texas Ranger, Paul Haggis.
PAUL HAGGIS- So what if my movies don't make any money gimme another goddamn Oscar!
VOX POPLAR- And last, but not least, writer of When Harry Met Sally, activist, and renowned international terrorism expert Nora Ephron.
NORA EPHRON- Carl Bernstein ran out on me.
VOX POPLAR- Okay, I'm not sure what that has to do with this blog, but let's move onto our first topic. The FBI recently arrested six men for plotting to blow up the fuel lines for JFK Airport potentially killing thousands of innocent New Yorkers. What's the view from Hollywood folks? First up Rosie.
ROSIE O'DONNELL- I question the timing
battle of the alamo
VOX POPLAR- Paul Haggis?
PAUL HAGGIS- Yet another example of how the foul and racist United States of Amerikkka destroys the dreams of poor immigrants simply because they're of the wrong race.
VOX POPLAR- Their dream was to kill thousands of innocent people.
PAUL HAGGIS- Does being a citizen of the most fascist and racist state the world has ever known make you innocent?
VOX POPLAR- Ookay. Sean Penn?
SEAN PENN- The trolls of small minded Christian fascists dance in the soiled underwear of Israeli lobbyists.
VOX POPLAR- Nora Ephron?
NORA EPHRON- I think that only the clear eyes of someone who has grown up in the real heart of America, Beverly Hills, can truly understand that these poor innocent Islamist extremists were framed as part of a vast right wing conspiracy to keep Barack Obama from the White House.
PAUL HAGGIS- See that! Even your President's house is racist! You are all racists! Except for me, because I'm from Ontario.
VOX POPLAR- Let's move onto the next topic. Immigration. Should people who break the law be rewarded with amnesty, and does the USA need to reform its immigration laws to make legal immigration easier?
ROSIE O'DONNELL- bush drinks the blood of babies
the death of
SEAN PENN- The fat cats of halliburton and enron frolic like puppies in the bloodstained panties of the mother country.
PAUL HAGGIS- Everyone in America is racist. Except the people who pay to see my movies and give me Oscars.
NORA EPHRON- Isn't it obvious that this is all a big frame up so innocent foreign types can be rounded up and put in Halliburton built death camps.
VOX POPLAR- Next topic. Folks in Hollywood are getting a bad rap for not supporting the troops fighting in Iraq. What is the real view from Hollywood?
ROSIE O'DONNELL- amerikkkan troops kill
SEAN PENN- American soldiers are the puppets of the great fascist military industrial complex that sniff the soiled and bloody long-johns of corporate America.
PAUL HAGGIS- I don't support the war, but I support the troops. Even though they are all, to a man, a pack of baby killing, war crime committing, rapist psychopaths who think mass slaughter is the only solution to the world's problems. I even made a movie about how bad they are, the movie sucks, but it's gonna get me another Oscar!
VOX POPLAR- Have you actually met any American soldiers?
PAUL HAGGIS- Yes, a real soldier named Jesse MacBeth told me all about their bloodthirsty ways.
VOX POPLAR- That explains a lot. Nora Ephron?
NORA EPHRON- If American soldiers truly represented American ideals, they'd be from Park Avenue in Manhattan, Beverly Hills, or Malibu. They're just the dregs of fly-over country.
VOX POPLAR- Well, I think that wraps this up for now. So until next time, remember to keep watching the Hollywood Stars, because they know better than you.