11.09.2007

The View From The Moral High Ground

VOX POPLAR
(Token Earthling Correspondent)
GOES
1 ON 1
WITH
SENATOR
CHRISTOPHER
DODD

(D-FEAT)

VOX- Welcome to our blog Senator Dodd.

DODD- I'm glad to be any place where people will listen to me.

VOX- You sparked some controversy with a recent blog at the Huffington Post where you claimed 9/11 architect Khalid Sheik Mohamed now had the moral high ground.

DODD- Yes I did. What's your question?

VOX- Are you high?

DODD- What?

VOX- Have you been dipping into someone's secret stash, and unlike Bill Clinton, you have inhaled?

DODD- Certainly not, and I must say that I'm offended by the inference.

VOX- It wasn't an inference. It was an accusation. So why did you claim that the man who planned the mass slaughter of American civilians has greater moral authorities than the nation he attacked?

DODD- That's easy. It's because Khalid Sheik Mohamed says he was tortured. Water boarded to be exact.

VOX- Do you know that Al Qaida terrorists are specifically trained to claim torture whenever they are captured by the so-called infidels?

DODD- Likely story.

VOX- It's in their training manual.

DODD- Yet another in a long litany of Bush lies, so innocent blood can be spilled for oil, Israel, and the jollies of Karl Rove.

VOX- So you take the word of an admitted Al Qaida terrorist over the government of the United States?

DODD- Of course.

VOX- Let's move onto the method that you consider torture.

DODD- You mean water-boarding.

VOX- Yes, water boarding. Do you know that acts much worse than water-boarding is being done in schools all over the world, except they call it The Swirly?

DODD- Yet another sign of the moral decay caused by the fascist Bush administration.

VOX- Let's look at what you think of as the qualifications for moral superiority. Khalid Sheik Mohamed is an admitted mass murderer and terrorist mastermind. But because he was water-boarded, he is now morally superior to the United States.

DODD- Absolutely.

VOX- So here's a situation. The leader of a country has engaged in a war of aggression against his neighbours. These neighbours, in partnership with other allies, stop his aggression by fighting back. Strategic and technological limitations force these neighbours to bomb cities, that kill civilians. Does the leader who started the war now have moral superiority?

DODD- Of course. It is always better to fold than to fight back.

VOX- You read it here first folks, Senator Christopher Dodd believes that Adolph Hitler was morally superior to the allies.

DODD- What?

VOX- It's a logical inference.

DODD- Sounds more like an accusation!

VOX- I'm just trying to figure out your mind-set.

DODD- Well you're not going to do that with rhetorical traps!

VOX- Okay. Then let me press this button.

(CLANK!)

DODD- Why am I in a tube?

VOX- That's my patented 'Tube of Truth.' You will be unable to lie while you're trapped in there.

DODD- Oh fudge.

VOX- So Senator Dodd, why did you claim that a monster like Khalid Sheik Mohamed had the moral high ground?

DODD- Because I want to be Hillary's Vice President! And to get that job I need to be able to deliver the Kos-Kids and Code Pinkos.

VOX- So your stance has no basis in morality?

DODD- I'm a Democrat Senator, nothing I do is based on any morality!

VOX- Why do you think making propaganda for the enemy in time of war is considered a good campaign strategy?

DODD- Because for Democrats to win America must lose. We need to lose the war in Iraq and be a weak and trembling nation in order for a Democrat to run this country the way they want to. It's what our billionaire masters demand! Now let me out of this tube!!!

VOX- Okay, that's all the time we have for now. See you all later.

DODD- Lemme out!!!

3 comments:

RT said...

Everyday, I'm tortured by the inane ramblings of Democrats. Do I have a case?

Chris C said...

And people say Ron Paul is out of his mind.

Anonymous said...

Excellent! And all true (sadly).

-- chicopanther