Greetings puny Earthlings.

Another week goes by, and there's another set of douchebags. So without further ado...

HUGO CHAVEZ: Just being Hugo Chavez normally qualifies him as the nadir of douchebaggery, but he's managed to find new lows. Right now he's rattling sabres and threatening war with Colombia over the death of narco-terrorist FARC leader Paul Reyes.

Hey, Hugo, maybe you should ask the Argentinian Junta about how starting a war to cover their own incompetence worked out for them.

HILLARY CLINTON: For running for president on the basis of her "experience" but keeping all evidence of her "experience" under lock and key. What is she so afraid of? Oh right, people finding out she's a douchebag.

BARACK OBAMA: For bringing dirty Chicago style machine politics to the national stage under the guise of "hope" and "change." Forget about his middle name Hussein, it should be hustle, especially when it comes to double talking about NAFTA (probably leaked by a Hillary friendly diplomat) to the sources of his money, and his house.

THE BRITISH PEOPLE: Went from a proud nation that conquered half the world, to an obnoxious drink-sodden reality-tv tabloid sucking bog full of soccer hooligans who will fight for the right of Imams to preach mass murder, but won't let their own military wear their uniforms in public. When Prince Harry starts sounding sensible, the whole island is in trouble.

THE YESHIVA GUNMAN: Because anyone who thinks shooting up a school is the right thing, is a douchebag and nothing but.

That's all for now. Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

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