Hello puny Earthlings. TekTak F. Mechanoid here with another edition in our inaccurately named and erratically timed series DOUCHEBAGS OF THE WEEK!
I'm filling in for Remulak who has returned to Earth, Xran got his agent out of the carbonite and they're ready to restart their contract negotiations. I think Remulak is intent on wrapping this up, he packed up his Club of Agreement and took it with him.
But enough about us when there are so many Earthling douchebags running free like lemmings being tossed off a cliff by nature documentary makers.
1. STEPHEN KING: The once entertaining horror writer decided to let the whole world know that since he's become rich and famous, he's also now a douchebag with this statement:
I don’t want to sound like an ad–a public service ad on TV–but the fact is that if you can read you can walk into a job later on. If you don’t then you got the Army, Iraq, I don’t know, something like that. It’s not as bright. So that’s my little commercial for that.Yeah, that's right, he thinks the people operating complex and relatively technologically advanced military equipment are illiterates. Let me tell you a little fact Stevie, soldiers do read, they just don't read you anymore, pretty much like most people.
2. CELEBRITY "ENVIRONMENTALISTS": Click here to read how the beautiful people are really working hard to save your planet's environment by polluting so much 19th century Robber Barons look at them and say: "Damn you're filthy." The only one worth his green is Ed Begley Jr. because he at least walks the walk.
3. THE BURMA JUNTA: Just because they will most likely loot as much of the aid money coming from around the world in the aftermath of the devastating cyclone. And I won't call it Myam-Byalik-Mar because I can never remember how to spell it correctly.
4. BILL AYERS: Just for being an unrepentant spoiled brat who played terrorist, and for being photographed dancing on the flag of the only nation that wouldn't have dropped him in a cell 'til the plague rats gnawed his bones bare.
5. ROSIE O'DONNELL: For jumping into the spotlight again and declaring that Rev. "Hate Whitie" Wright 'made sense to me.' The only reason that raving bigot made sense to you Rosie is because you are full of nonsense. Here's a little tip, just because he hates Bush and the USA doesn't make anyone wonderful.
MoxArgon here, logging on remotely from the Beverly Hills Hotel, with my own nomination:So folks, if you find yourself on this list, remember that...
Barbra Walters: For whoring her past to somehow make up for her total lack of relevance to anyone without a summer place in the Hamptons. Especially for revealing an affair with a married Senator, tainting his old age with tabloid scandal. Once again showing the world that when you think the media has finally hit rock bottom, they start chiselling away to find new depths of classlessness.
And keep watching the skies, stay on point, and all that jazz...