AVIEW FROM
THE AFTERLIFE
COMMENTARY
BY
KING JOHN
OF ENGLAND
(1167-1216 AD)
Balls!
Damned blasted bloody balls!
Sorry about the burst of temper. It's just that I'm angry, I'm talking raging ball-steaming livid!
I guess I should introduce myself before I start raging again.
I'm the late King John of England. You may know me by the regrettable, and in my opinion: unfair, name of John Lackland, or for my greatest achievement, signing the Magna Carta.
Sure, I may have signed it unwillingly at the time. I was a tyrant after all, and in my misspent life I didn't appreciate the weight of that moment, but now I gladly accept enacting the foundation of Western Constitutional Liberty.
Of course, thanks to Lord What's-his-name, I will now probably only be remembered for being pestered by Robin Hood. WHO WAS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!
At least he was in my time.
But anyhoo, Vox Poplar let me use his digital Ouija board to talk to your about how a pompous politically correct windbag like Lord Autumnbottom could just piss away centuries of British liberty to curry favour with the Sharia law set.
Now Lord Boneybrains shook the dust of his wig long enough to declare that it would be just jiminy dandy for contracts to be enacted under laws other than those of the United Kingdom.
That's what you call the first step on the slippery slope.
First it's contracts.
Then it's marriages, divorces, and custody law.
Then the next thing you know a man is being let off for murdering his daughter because his Imam said it was okay, because she showed too much ankle.
Then you start seeing the "other" laws of the land, being taken down, replaced by these "new" laws.
That's because one land can only have one set of laws.
And if you don't like the law of any given land, leave it, and find one that has the laws you like.
You cannot create a separate system of laws based on race, religion, or whatever you like. Because that can lead to only one thing: TYRANNY.
I know how this sort of thing works. I was a tyrant after all, and I took advantage of every slope I could slip on. And that's why the barons revolted and forced me to sign that damned piece of paper.
Of course now that paper's not worthy for wiping your arse. All because some bewigged buffoon figured he could cut down on the death threats if he played the appeaser.
Makes even a nutless wonder like me look positively brilliant.
I gotta go and cool down.
Damned blasted bloody balls!
Sorry about the burst of temper. It's just that I'm angry, I'm talking raging ball-steaming livid!
I guess I should introduce myself before I start raging again.
I'm the late King John of England. You may know me by the regrettable, and in my opinion: unfair, name of John Lackland, or for my greatest achievement, signing the Magna Carta.
Sure, I may have signed it unwillingly at the time. I was a tyrant after all, and in my misspent life I didn't appreciate the weight of that moment, but now I gladly accept enacting the foundation of Western Constitutional Liberty.
Of course, thanks to Lord What's-his-name, I will now probably only be remembered for being pestered by Robin Hood. WHO WAS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!
At least he was in my time.
But anyhoo, Vox Poplar let me use his digital Ouija board to talk to your about how a pompous politically correct windbag like Lord Autumnbottom could just piss away centuries of British liberty to curry favour with the Sharia law set.
Now Lord Boneybrains shook the dust of his wig long enough to declare that it would be just jiminy dandy for contracts to be enacted under laws other than those of the United Kingdom.
That's what you call the first step on the slippery slope.
First it's contracts.
Then it's marriages, divorces, and custody law.
Then the next thing you know a man is being let off for murdering his daughter because his Imam said it was okay, because she showed too much ankle.
Then you start seeing the "other" laws of the land, being taken down, replaced by these "new" laws.
That's because one land can only have one set of laws.
And if you don't like the law of any given land, leave it, and find one that has the laws you like.
You cannot create a separate system of laws based on race, religion, or whatever you like. Because that can lead to only one thing: TYRANNY.
I know how this sort of thing works. I was a tyrant after all, and I took advantage of every slope I could slip on. And that's why the barons revolted and forced me to sign that damned piece of paper.
Of course now that paper's not worthy for wiping your arse. All because some bewigged buffoon figured he could cut down on the death threats if he played the appeaser.
Makes even a nutless wonder like me look positively brilliant.
I gotta go and cool down.
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