9.30.2009

Douchebags of the Week!

Greetings puny Earthlings, it's been a while since we've done a tally of Earthling douchebaggery, so let's get the ball rolling...

1. PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA:

Talk about having your priorities straight. The commander in chief of the free world has taken a break from voting "present" on Afghanistan, letting Iran go nuclear bugshit on the rest of the Middle East, and trying to ram state-run health care down the throats of America, to campaign for Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics.

Now you might wonder why he's doing this, well the answer is simple.

His bosses in the Chicago Machine told him to do it.

Sure the Olympics have devolved from a festival of sports and culture into a multi-billion dollar boondoggle where huge corporations get governments to help pay for their global advertising campaigns. It also means a way for corrupt city officials to rake in millions if not billions from graft, waste, and outright theft from the Olympic piggy bank.

Good old Barack H. Obedience, always delivers for his bosses.

2. GORE VIDAL:

The wheezy old windbag of American letters crawled out of his coffin to gripe about the only country that allowed a pretentious old twat to be successful as a writer, saying things like:
Obama believes the Republican Party is a party when in fact it’s a mindset, like Hitler Youth, based on hatred — religious hatred, racial hatred. When you foreigners hear the word ‘conservative’ you think of kindly old men hunting foxes. They’re not, they’re fascists.
Now that's real courage, calling people who won't shoot you "fascists" also pretty original too. Personally, I just think he was just glad he had someone to talk to since he hasn't been relevant since the 1970s.

3. ROMAN POLANSKI:

He's in the news for getting busted by the Swiss, and now faces extradition for statutory rape of a 13 year old girl, after plying her with a Quaalude and champagne cocktail.

My prediction, he's going to be shipped to America, walk on the charges, and then be appointed Obama's new "youth czar."

4. MICHAEL MOORE:

Because he's Michael Moore, the living dictionary definition of hypocrisy. He is a douchebag, always was a douchebag, and barring some sort of miracle will remain a douchebag for all time, and well into eternity, creating a black hole of douchebaggery.

So remember kiddies, if you're on this list, then...

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

2 comments:

Random Walker said...

You forgot Whoopi Rape–Rape Goldberg. That bag carried more douche this week than any of those on your list... well maybe except for the Daley’s bitch.

Cameltoad said...

I hereby second the Whoopi rape rape, and add the entire A list of Hollywood douchnozzles supporting the analraping child-diddling maggot from France/Poland/Hollyweird.