Greetings puny Earthlings.
It looks like President Obama has decided that pissing away hundreds of millions of dollars and endangering the lives of New Yorkers so Eric Holder could expose CIA secrets in open court, wasn't the great idea they originally thought it was. Now the POTUS is looking for alternate venues for the trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and his catamite cronies.
Since I'm all about helping people, and Obama seems to have a thing about closing Gitmo too, I'm going to offer these alternatives, nay solutions, for this problem.
It's owned by Japan, but the Japanese are willing to lease it to the US government at a very affordable price. It's secure, at least from outside threats, and no matter the outcome of the trial, civilization wins. If he's convicted their sentence is to be tossed to the monsters, if found not guilty because someone at the CIA was mean to them, then they can be safely set free to live out the rest of their (short) lives on Monster Island.
This is technically a sovereign nation, but I checked with the natives, and they are very willing to sign the island over to the USA, in exchange for GETTING OFF SKULL ISLAND. Once there, it's simply a matter of tossing them over the big wall that lies between the village and the jungle.
This requires the co-operation of Mexico, but slip someone in power a few pesos, and he'll toss you the key. This is a perfect place for the sort of medieval jurisprudence these Jihadis are so fond of. Set them off, naked and smeared with A1 steak sauce, at one end of the valley, and if they make it to the other end of the valley, then they can go free.
This is not only a good place to hold trials, but it would make a crackerjack low-maintenance prison for recalcitrant Jihadis. It's essentially a temperate lost valley hidden beneath the ice of Antarctica. Just toss them in, if they escape, then they'll freeze in the Antarctic wastelands. No fuss, no muss.
This is the one planet in the Known Universe where right is wrong, and wrong is right. Come to think about it, maybe Eric Holder actually comes from this planet.... that's something to think about.
Anyway, I think these are good alternatives. So keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.
It looks like President Obama has decided that pissing away hundreds of millions of dollars and endangering the lives of New Yorkers so Eric Holder could expose CIA secrets in open court, wasn't the great idea they originally thought it was. Now the POTUS is looking for alternate venues for the trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and his catamite cronies.
Since I'm all about helping people, and Obama seems to have a thing about closing Gitmo too, I'm going to offer these alternatives, nay solutions, for this problem.
MONSTER ISLAND
It's owned by Japan, but the Japanese are willing to lease it to the US government at a very affordable price. It's secure, at least from outside threats, and no matter the outcome of the trial, civilization wins. If he's convicted their sentence is to be tossed to the monsters, if found not guilty because someone at the CIA was mean to them, then they can be safely set free to live out the rest of their (short) lives on Monster Island.SKULL ISLAND
This is technically a sovereign nation, but I checked with the natives, and they are very willing to sign the island over to the USA, in exchange for GETTING OFF SKULL ISLAND. Once there, it's simply a matter of tossing them over the big wall that lies between the village and the jungle.THE VALLEY OF THE GWANGI
This requires the co-operation of Mexico, but slip someone in power a few pesos, and he'll toss you the key. This is a perfect place for the sort of medieval jurisprudence these Jihadis are so fond of. Set them off, naked and smeared with A1 steak sauce, at one end of the valley, and if they make it to the other end of the valley, then they can go free.THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT
This is not only a good place to hold trials, but it would make a crackerjack low-maintenance prison for recalcitrant Jihadis. It's essentially a temperate lost valley hidden beneath the ice of Antarctica. Just toss them in, if they escape, then they'll freeze in the Antarctic wastelands. No fuss, no muss.BIZARRO WORLD
This is the one planet in the Known Universe where right is wrong, and wrong is right. Come to think about it, maybe Eric Holder actually comes from this planet.... that's something to think about.Anyway, I think these are good alternatives. So keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.
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