6.28.2010

Douchebags of Week!

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry for the light posting, it's been sort of busy in the empire lately, but I thought I'd take a moment to remind you about the sheer level of douchebaggery that keeps happening on your wretched little rock of a planet.

So let's go in no particular order...

THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA: There are literally too many examples of bias to mention, from their constant use of the word "brilliant" to describe every time Barack Obama farts, to deliberately leaving out important facts. Recent Senator Robert Byrd slipped the surly bonds of Earth, rung down the curtain, and joined the jug band invisible, and they are already forgetting that he once held a leadership position in the Ku Klux Klan.

Former Democrat turned Republican Strom Thurmond died, and they rushed to brand him the eternal segregationist despite his later change in position on that issue. Byrd on the other hand was a leader and recruiter for what can only be described as a racially motivated domestic terrorist group. Of course Byrd stayed a Democrat, so to the media, that makes it all a-okay.

I know you Earthlings have a thing about speaking ill of the dead, but one shouldn't lie about them either.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: He's become a regular on this feature, for continued douchebaggery ranging from delaying action on the BP oil spill to please his union masters, and playing around with people's lives and livelihoods with the offshore drilling ban in order to please his billionaire masters who are invested in Brasilian oil and want those Gulf oil rigs. And let us not forget the kissing up to enemies, the pissing on allies, and all the other stuff he does on a regular basis to completely cripple the nation.

BP: I guess when this company went "Beyond Petroleum" they also went beyond basic safety considerations. They honestly believed that being behind such boondoggles in the making like "cap and trade" would somehow protect them from fundamentally failing at the one thing they are supposed to be good at, which is extracting oil from the ground, and delivering it without creating some sort of massive environmental and economic disaster.

Remember, if you're on this list then you....

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

1 comment:

Chris in NC said...

Good list. I'd also like to add World Cup referees. I thought Obama was blind to reality... Good grief

Good to have y'all posting again!