4.21.2012

REALITY CHECK: A BUFFET FOR BUFFETT

Greetings puny Earthlings.

Sorry for being away for so long, but we do have busy lives out here, running the Known Universe.  But I'm back to give you Earthlings a reality check that you really seem to need.

Right now the Obama Administration has a quandary, they want to be re-elected so they can be more "flexible" on issues like health care, gun control, and their dealings with the Iranians, the Chinese and the Russians.  However they can't run on their record since all they've managed to accomplish is to pass a bloated health care law that becomes more and more unpopular the more and more people learn about it.

So what do they do?  The answer appears to be Class War, by going after Republicans as the party of "fat cats" and "millionaires and billionaires" who make more than $250,000 a year.

The centerpiece of this class war is the so-called "Buffett Rule" where capital gains taxes would be doubled in the name of fairness, and that it has to be okay, because it has the endorsement, and name of arch-plutocrat Warren Buffett.

So let's look at the fundamental fallacies behind the "Buffett Rule." 

FALLACY #1: FAIRNESS

This is the most obvious fallacy because taxes have absolutely NOTHING to do with enforcing fairness.  Taxes exist for one purpose only and that is to generate the most revenue for the government while doing the least damage to the economy.

One of the fundamental truths about taxes is that if they go too high, the actual amount of revenue they collect goes down.  That's because high taxes slow the growth of the economy by reducing the amount of available investment capital, and when that happens there's a lot less money that can be collected.

When taxes are low, there's a lot more growth in the economy, and revenue actually grows.

Then there's the notion of fairness.

Fairness is an illusion held by spoiled children.

There is no way for any mortal being can re-shape the world into anything that is remotely fair, because fairness doesn't exist.  The Omni-Brains of Ollax 17 are smart enough to tell you that the absolute last digit of Pi is "3," and can calculate a complete audit of all the matter in the Universe in the space of an afternoon, but even they can't define what's fair.

I'm pretty certain that a politician who doesn't even know the legal precedents that he allegedly taught at university can't do it either.

FALLACY #2: DEFICIT REDUCTION

The revenue generated by the Buffett Rule will definitely close the deficit run up by the Obama Administration in 2011.

It will just take over 500 years to do it.

FALLACY #3: THE TARGETS

The Obama Administration and its wealthy cronies tell you that only they will be affected by the doubling of the capital gains tax.

That's what we aliens call a big fat load of grade A nerfle-shit. 

First, if you have a 401k or any other pension plan that's invested in the stock market, you are royally buggered. Because all the rich investors and corporations will pull all their money out before the Buffett Rule goes into effect, to put it all in something tax free like government bonds, or just ship it overseas.

Also anyone who wants to be the next Warren Buffett will be shit out of luck trying to get any investment capital for their projects.

Which brings us to...

FALLACY #4: NOBLESSE OBLIGE

The sage of Omaha says that he's only interested in "doing his fair share."  If that was the case, he's welcome to just donate all his many billions to the government, but there's no way he can profit from it that way.

Profit from the Buffett Rule?

Yes, he and his buddies stand to profit hugely from the Buffett Rule, and it's so simple, it's brilliant.

Remember, Buffett has tens of billions of dollars in personal wealth, and control of tens of billions more dollars in the reserves of his holding company Berkshire Hathaway.  

Pass the Buffett Rule so Buffett can rule!
That money has already been taxed, so it's all his, and not the government's.

When the Buffett Rule causes share values to crash, Buffett and his buddies will have vast resources to buy up whole companies at bargain basement prices, to hold until the next government rescinds the Buffett Rule and their value recovers.

So it looks like what Buffett claims to be a case of noblesse oblige is really just an elaborate scheme to use his political connections to suppress competition and profit hugely.

Is that clear?

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

1 comment:

Chris in NC said...

HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe you're back!!! Even that opening line alone would have been great!!!

I hope you are ok and that everything is going well.

Thanks for stopping by! :)