8.19.2005

EPISODE #2: THE MOONBAT QUESTION

SOYLENT GREEN
PRESENTS
THE MOXARGON GROUP

MOXARGON: Good day puny humanoids. I'm Remulax MoxArgon and joining me are my regular panelists, Android CAI/7, Xran the FleshRender, and Dalek Drone 9099. Today the issue is immigration. The Empire of the United States of America is apparently awash in immigrants. Immigrants that display no loyalty to their Empire or to its Overlord, and often work against its interests and in some cases aiding those who seek to destroy it. Where do these immigrants come from? They come from Earth's moon, and they are called Moonbats. Panel, what do you think?

ANDROID CAI/7: The behaviour of these moonbats does not compute, and nor does the behaviour of their host empire. The American Empire gives these moonbats well paying jobs in the mainstream propaganda media, educational institutions, politics, and entertainment, showers them with privileges and then these moonbats suddenly declare support for forces who seek to forcibly decapitate the very people who bestow their privileged lives on them. It is highly illogical and does not compute.

XRAN: I have to differ with the Android on one point here. Maybe the point these moonbats are trying to make is that any society that rewards beings with minimal talent, skills or intelligence deserves to be destroyed. And maybe this society desires some sort of cultural suicide by granting so much power to those who who seek their destruction?

MOXARGON: An intriguing point. What do you think Drone-9099?

DRONE 9099: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!

MOXARGON: An interesting point, but it's actually more befitting the next part of this topic. What should the American Empire do with these moonbats? CAI/7?

ANDROID CAI/7: I think the American Empire should correct the problem and close the floodgate that was opened by their manned missions to their moon over 30 cycles ago. I propose mass deportations of these moonbats back to their home sattelite.

XRAN: Earth's moon is now a lifeless rock. You can't send them back, they'll all die. That's the kind of cold and merciless thinking one finds coming from a sack of circuitry like you.

ANDROID CAI/7: Since I have no emotions your pitiful meatsack attempts to insult me will fail.

MOXARGON: What do you propose Xran?

XRAN: First thing is that we shouldn't let a potential resource like these moonbats go to waste with a silly deportation plan. I say round them all up and place them all in special moonbat preserves. There they can maintain their self-destructive culture without endangering the rest of the empire.

MOXARGON: How exactly will keeping them in special preserves put them to constructive use?

XRAN: Isn't it obvious. We'll process them for their nutitional value.

ANDROID CAI/7: How do you propose to do that? Processing even semi-sentient beings like moonbats is a difficult task.

XRAN: We'll simply subvert some Alpha moonbats like Michael Moore to lead them into the meat proccessing centres. These moonbats follow their alphas like Norwellian rock slugs, so that and the promise of free lattes and half-price Noam Chomsky books will keep them compliant.

MOXARGON: You've both come up with some interesting points. We'll have to keep our eyes on Overlord DubyaBush to see just which path he picks on this issue. So until then, keep watching the skies, because we'll be watching you.

4 comments:

Damian G. said...

Excellent points, all.

But I think that perhaps we could process the stupider, slower moonbats called hippies first and thus entice Michael Moore by tricking him into a cannibalistic feast.

It's fun to be evil.

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Heh.
Moonbats.

Well done.
Damian may be onto something, too!

Fitch said...

I'm Liking this MoxArgon Group very much so far. Keep up the good work! I have no qualms with returning the moonbats to the moon, even if it is a death sentence.

lgtoles said...

Thing is, ever tried to clean a moonbat?