5.16.2006

Point/Counterpoint- Anti-Semitism

TEKTAK- Good day puny Earthlings. It's time again for Point / Counterpoint. I'm Tektak F. Mechanoid sitting in for the Right and on the Left is my colleague Snotglob T. Mutant.

SNOTGLOB- Good day.

TEKTAK- The topic today is anti-Semitism.

SNOTGLOB- In my opinion there just isn't enough of it in the world.

TEKTAK- What in the name of the Glorified Gears of Gobotech 7 are you talking about?

SNOTGLOB- Anti-Semitism. I said that there's not enough anti-semitism on Earth. Sheesh for a cyborg you don't hear too good.

TEKTAK- Snotglob you ignorant hermaphrodite slut! You're supposed to be the spokesmutant for the Political Left. You're supposed to be against all forms of ethnic or religious prejudice! A good liberal is not supposed to endorse something as nasty as anti-semitism!

SNOTGLOB- Goes to show what you know cyborg-boy! I've done some of that research you're always asking me to do, and I've learned that anti-semitism is the new liberalism.

TEKTAK- It's official, you honestly lost that minuscule par-boiled pea you call a mind.

SNOTGLOB- Look at who is doing the anti-semitism thing now. Hugo Chavez of Venezuela is blaming his country's problems on Israeli agents, the Mayor of London Ken Livingstone is honouring Chavez and making anti-Semitic comments himself, American intellectual Noma Chomsky, who happens to be of Jewish descent, just endorsed Hezbollah, an organisation dedicated to the genocide of Jewish people, and other leading liberal lights are endorsing Holocaust denial and the destruction of Israel. So don't blame me for being with-it.

TEKTAK- I should have seen this coming. I figured anti-semitism would be the one thing we could agree on, but once again you've surprised me by finding the blatantly ignorant and stupid side of the issue.

SNOTGLOB- Oh, so you're denying that there's a massive Jewish conspiracy to rule the world as described in the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and the recent paper by prominent academics Walt and Mearsheimer?

TEKTAK- Of course I'm denying those ignorant slanders. If the Jews really did rule the world in secret, would they have made themselves the world's punching bag for the past several thousand years?

SNOTGLOB- Oh there you go ruining a perfectly good argument with stupid facts! You sir are worse than Hitler!

TEKTAK- How can I be worse than Hitler? According to your new friends Hitler didn't do anything!

SNOTGLOB- And yet you're here doing something! That makes you worse than Hitler. So stick that in your thermal exhaust and smoke it!

TEKTAK- You're a real piece of work.

SNOTGLOB- Explain this Mr. Know-it-all cyborg: If Jews aren't responsible for all the world's problems, then why do so many people hate them? Hah! You don't have an answer do you, smart-boy?

TEKTAK- Of course I have an answer as to why people hate Jews.

SNOTGLOB- What is it?

TEKTAK- Some people are assholes.

SNOTGLOB- That's it?

TEKTAK- In a nutshell, yes. However, if you need more data, then I'll give it to you. For thousands of years the Jewish people have faced oppression, repression, depression, antipathy, apathy, and out and out hatred leading to undeniable mass slaughter.

Yet despite all the hardships they proven themselves, again and again, to be positive contributors to their host societies, look at the list of Nobel Prize winners in science, literature, and medicine if you doubt that.

The Jewish people then forged a functioning democratic state in a region dominated by dysfunctional dictatorships who, despite vast wealth in their petroleum mines, still wallow in poverty and corruption.

People who dislike the Jewish people do it mostly out of jealousy sparked by their own failings in the face of Jewish success. And since assholes hate those who deserve to be admired, those who hate Jews are assholes.

SNOTGLOB- Well, that argument requires a special leftist counter-argument.

(puts hands over ears)

LALALALALALALALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU LALALALALALALA! LALALALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU MR. POOPY-PANTS! LALALALALA!

TEKTAK- Thanks for proving my point Snotglob. That's all for today folks, so on behalf of me and the singing fool, good day.

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