Greetings puny Earthling, Xran the Fleshrender here wondering if anyone's seen our loathed beloved leader, Intergalactic conqueror, political pundit and master barbecue chef Remulak MoxArgon.
We're getting worried. He hasn't called us on the hyperwave, but there also haven't been any reports of any of your major Earth cities being destroyed by maniacal aliens, which means that no one on Earth has annoyed him, yet.
Remulak, if you're reading this, drop us a line. TekTak's trying to keep the blog running. Snotglob's coccooned itself in worry, Android CAI/7 is plotting to take your place as leader of the blog, and Varos has started dating Anne Coulter.
We know where that can lead.
Please come back!
Earthlings, I'm asking you to be on the lookout for Remulak MoxArgon. He's about 7 1/2 of your feet tall, weighs about 300 Earth pounds, has a really big head, and is blue. He tends to stand out.
Except in Los Angeles.
But anyway, tell us if you've seen him. Anyone who helps us find Remulak will be greatly rewarded by being put on the 'Spared for Easy Slavery' list, as opposed to the 'Exterminate Immediately List' and the 'Mucus Mine Slavery' list.
Keep watching the skies, and the world around you. Because he could be anywhere.
We're getting worried. He hasn't called us on the hyperwave, but there also haven't been any reports of any of your major Earth cities being destroyed by maniacal aliens, which means that no one on Earth has annoyed him, yet.
Remulak, if you're reading this, drop us a line. TekTak's trying to keep the blog running. Snotglob's coccooned itself in worry, Android CAI/7 is plotting to take your place as leader of the blog, and Varos has started dating Anne Coulter.
We know where that can lead.
Please come back!
Earthlings, I'm asking you to be on the lookout for Remulak MoxArgon. He's about 7 1/2 of your feet tall, weighs about 300 Earth pounds, has a really big head, and is blue. He tends to stand out.
Except in Los Angeles.
But anyway, tell us if you've seen him. Anyone who helps us find Remulak will be greatly rewarded by being put on the 'Spared for Easy Slavery' list, as opposed to the 'Exterminate Immediately List' and the 'Mucus Mine Slavery' list.
Keep watching the skies, and the world around you. Because he could be anywhere.
2 comments:
"...weighs about 300 Earth pounds, has a really big head, and is blue."
Hmm, does he have spines and red sneakers? No, wait, I'm thinking of Sonic the Hedgehog.
I suggest you check the bushes behind Michelle Malkin's house.
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