2006 Mid-Terms: What's Next?

TEKTAK- Greetings puny Earthlings. TekTak F. Mechanoid here, still filling in for Remulak MoxArgon. As you've probably heard the Democrats did very well in the American mid-term elections. Joining me to discuss what the future holds, is Koos-Koos, who was just appointed Supreme Seer of the InterDimensional Order of People Who See Things Before They Happen. Congratulations on the new appointment.

KOOS-KOOS- I knew it was going to happen. And I knew you were going to say that.

TEKTAK- I'm sure you did. So, what's in store for the American Earthlings now that the Democrats have won the House and Senate.

KOOS-KOOS- The future is a nebulus, living thing. It changes and shifts with the tides of destiny. I can however tell you what will most likely happen.

TEKTAK- What will most likely happen?

KOOS-KOOS- The next two years will leave America as impotent as a Major League Baseball Anti-Doping Commissioner. The Congress will vote to de-fund the Iraq War. Chaos will ensue, leading to genocide as Sunni kill Shia and Shia kill Sunni, Kurdistan will declare itself independent and be attacked by Turkey, Syria, and Iran in some vain attempt to keep their own restive Kurdish populations in check. The Bush Administration will try to aid them, but will be blocked by the Democrats. Thus the only democracy in the Middle East outside of Israel will have to struggle to survive.

Lebanon will be forcibly annexed to Syria by the Basher Assad, who will convert to Iranian style Shi'ism to please his masters. War will erupt, leading to the deaths of thousands. In reaction, the United Nations will condemn Israel.

The prison at Guantanamo Bay will be de-funded and all of its prisoners released to their home countries. Thus sparking a wave of terrorism throughout the Islamic World and the west. A sudden influx of trained Jihadists into France will transform their low-level 'intifadah' into a full fledged armed revolt that will spread to every other European city. The rebels offer to end the violence if Europe adopts Sharia Law. Despite European governments agreeing to this, there will be a popular revolt across Europe, leading to widespread genocide of the continent's Muslim population and political anarchy.

Nuclear proliferation will spread like wildfire throughout the Middle East. This is because North Korea, seeing a now powerless USA will sell their technology to all bidders without fear of reprisal.

On the domestic front, all Presidential judicial, cabinet, and ambassadorial posts will be blocked, thus creating total political gridlock. The tax cuts will be repealed, the economy will collapse, unemployment will skyrocket and the recovery of the housing market to a stable viable level will be put off.

All attempts to reform and enforce immigration laws will be blocked by Congressional Democrats, as well as reform of America's intelligence services. The Department of Homeland Security will be de-funded, its budget to purchase a fleet of private jets for the Al Gore Global Warming Foundation. These events will lead to a massive terrorist attack on American soil in late 2007. Thousands will perish.

TEKTAK- Sounds pretty grim.

KOOK-KOOS- The chaos will start to recede after the Democrats lose the House and the Senate in 2008 which will also mark the election of the Guliani/Rice Republican ticket which will defeat the Barack Obama/Keith Ellison ticket presented by the Democrats.

By the way, Hillary Clinton's loss of the Democratic Presidential nomination will put her into such a rage she will release her personal files containing all the dirt on Democratic Party bigwigs and their financiers. The MSM will completely implode, torn by their loyalty to the Democratic Party, and their complete obedience to Hillary's demands.

TEKTAK- Now you said that this is only 'likely' to happen. What could prevent such global chaos?

KOOS-KOOS- Democrats could realise that America's enemy is not Republicanism, but radical Islamism, but all attempts to promote that idea within the Democratic Party will be shot down as "racist."

TEKTAK- Thanks for this look into the future. By the way. Any idea as to when Remulak will return?

KOOS-KOOS- I haven't got a clue.

TEKTAK- Well, that's it for now. Anyone with word of Remulak MoxArgon's location on planet Earth, please drop us a line in our 'homages' section. Thanks, and keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.


RT said...

Thanks for making me depressed, Koos Koos.

At least I have the silver lining you provided, but all sharp objects will have to kept from me until then. :)

Station Agent said...

My God. Space is full of neocons. We're totally ficked.