3.30.2007

An Android Among the Stars #3

Greetings puny Earthlings.

I'm still just the head of Android CAI/7, and I'm still trapped covering the shallow illogical beings you Earthlings call 'celebrities.'

So here is the Hollywood news you crave like the salivating dogs that you are:



1. Actor George Clooney endorsed Senator Barack Obama, but expressed caution in doing it, citing past candidates failing due to what he calls the negative appearance of 'Hollywood Values.' Considering those values currently embrace the surrender of Western values and liberties to a psychopathic Islamist fundamentalist dogma, I don't see how can be seen as negative.

You see, I might be an android, but I can still do sarcasm.

2. Actor John Travolta showed that he is a 'Wild Hog'* for the environment by lecturing 'ordinary' people about making sacrifices to fight Global Warming from this place:

Yes Earthlings, that is his home, where he keeps his 5 private jets. But before you begin expressing the human emotion of anger, Remulak sold Mr. Travolta some 'Hypocrite' offsets, so his blatant hypocrisy is all right.

*Disney should make the check out to Android CAI/7.

3. Back to Clooney who is also offering over 1,000,000 Earth dollars for anyone who can prove that he didn't leak the footage of cast and director meltdowns on the set of pretentious all-star uber-bomb I Heart Huckabees. Now this can be interpreted in two ways: 1. Clooney is an idiot who thinks you can prove a negative. or 2. He's smart enough to know you can not prove a negative and won't have to spend any money.

I'm leaning towards #1.

4. Rosie O'Donnell had another televised meltdown where she takes the word of Iran over the Brits. Nice to know that she's dumb enough to believe a man who gleefully hangs homosexuals, supports war and terrorism, uses rape as a form of interrogation, and oppresses all forms of free speech, is somehow morally superior to the world's most powerful democracies.

I am personally waiting for her to blame the Joos for 9/11. You know it's only a matter of time with her.

3 comments:

Rogue said...

Perhaps you have some Tyborean slug juice for Rosie.
Though in the human anatomy it may be fatal -- oh, that would be so sad.

Damian G. said...

Let's just vaporise the entire set of Rosie's show - so long as Hasselbeck is safe, of course.

Rogue said...

Now Arec Barween is getting into the act of bribery and demagoguery
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