Greetings Earthlings, it's my turn to bring you another edition of NEWS OF THE EARTH!
Let's get the ball rolling.
1. In the wake of the Virginia Tech shootings Hamline University offered grief counseling to its students. One student criticized this move, declaring that it would be better if students were allowed to defend themselves. In the tradition of the great academic Josef Stalin, the school immediately declared their critic to be INSANE and suspended him pending psychiatric and political evaluations. Thus ensuring that if you dare to practice your right to free speech or even self defense, the school will also use its right to completely ruin your life. Congratulations Hamline University, you are officially fascists.
2. The United Nations revealed that it does not represent the nations of planet Earth, but Bizarro World when it named environmental/economic basket case Zimbabwe leader of the commission on sustainable development. Just when you thought the UN couldn't get any nuttier, they think of something new.
3. Congressional Republicans are looking to pass laws granting immunity to people like the store clerk who exposed the Fort Dix Jihadi plans from nuisance lawsuits filed by Jihad supporters and their allies in the political left. And the sad part is that I can easily imagine the ACLU participating in such witness intimidation and then filing appeals claiming that calling 911 is a violation of the criminals right to commit crimes. They are just that deluded.
4. Speaking of deluded, Hugo Chavez officially shut down Venezuela's oldest and largest TV network for the crime of criticizing his regime. He must be talking to the folks at Hamline University for ideas about handling nuisances like Free Speech.