An Android Among The Stars #11: Freedom of Speech Edition

Greetings wretched organic meat sacks of the planet Earth.

I am still in exile as entertainment reporter, and despite TekTak's recently revealed experience in the field, I am not allowed to trade places with him.

But I am not bitter.

Bitterness is illogical.

As illogical as making an android as powerful as me an entertainment reporter.

But I digress.

1. Filmmaker and pseudo-documentarian Michael Moore now has a chance to prove his socialist bona fides to the world by allowing the pirated copies of his film Sicko to roam free on the internet. I think that's what Castro would have done in his place. Actually, Castro would have had the pirates executed and then imprisoned their friends and relatives, but if Moore truly believes in free speech and socialism, he'll let the pirates go. Any attempt to shut them down would be something a capitalist hypocrite would do.

2. Movie star and marriage wrecker Angelina Jolie is now saying that she regrets the blatant hypocrisy of making a movie about the importance of a free press and then banning Fox News from the premiere and restricting what questions the reporters who were deemed ideologically pure enough could ask.

I don't know why anyone was shocked. Anyone from Hollywood who claims to support free speech only truly supports speech they agree with. As veteran actor James Woods said: "In Hollywood, scratch a liberal, find a fascist."

I am personally more concerned with her veins. The last person I saw with veins bulging like that had Snotglob hatch out of their skull.

Angelina, see a doctor.

3. People are expressing outrage over preferential treatment of Paris Hilton by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's office.

So what?

She is rich, famous, and committed a crime in Los Angeles. Of course she is going to get preferential treatment.


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