A Cyborg Among the Stars

Hi there little Earthlings.

TekTak here, filling in as entertainment reporter. Android CAI-7 was sent on a 'special break' by Remulak, so I'll be filling in as entertainment reporter till he gets back, or we build a replacement.

So let's get down to show business.

1. Germany has barred Tom Cruise from filming a movie there because of his involvement in Scientology. The German government considers Scientology a for-profit business instead of a religion, something the Scientologists deny. I'm personally uncomfortable with Scientology and how it treats Remulak's friend Xenu. I mean, he's a sweet old gent who likes making model space-cruisers in bottles and loves his grand-hatchlings, and the Scientologists bad-mouth him regularly. It's prejudice, plain and simple. Maybe someday an Earthling scientist will find a pill that will cure it.

2. Actress and scholar Cameron Diaz has apologized to the people of Peru for her handbag. Apparently the Peruvians think the 70,000 dead people at the hands of the Maoist Shining Path makes Hollywood's love affair with Bolshevik-Chic kind of tacky. I'm sure Ms. Diaz thought Shining Path was the name of the next hot rehab centre opening in Malibu.

Shortly afterwards she announced a new line of Swastika decorated clothing and accessories for her upcoming tour of Israel.

3. Washed up sitcom writer Peter Mehlman declared his support for Adolph Hitler. Don't believe me, click here. Yep, Mehlman, who wrote for a show about nothing, shows that he has nothing between his ears. He brings up all the classic gliberal talking points: War on Terror in Iraq is only for oil, Bush works for evil conspiracy, yadda, yadda, yadda. But he tops it all off with a ringing endorsement of past dictators as better than Bush because "they meant well," and that Bush's push for democracy over dictators is pure evil.

Well Mr. Mehlman, when one of Osama Bin Ladin's worshippers slits your throat, you can relax in the knowledge that he's trying to make the world a better place. Remulak is promising one of his editorials, so I'll leave him to finish this one up.

I'm placing bets on how fast Ms. Huffington pulls it from the site, or Mehlman tries to write it off as a joke. For some reason, endorsing Hitler and Stalin as "meaning well" is considered politically incorrect.

That's all for now, so stay on point.