6.27.2007

It's a matter of fairness

A
SPECIAL
MESSAGE
BY
SNOTGLOB T. MUTANT
(token liberal)


Hi there Earthlings, it's me Snotglob, the mutant who cares.

There's been a lot of talk about bringing back the Fairness Doctrine which gives the government, hopefully Democrat, the power to regulate political speech in the media.

Well, I for one, am for it.

Those big bullies on talk radio, Fox News, and blogs have to be silenced.

They dare to ask Democrats tough questions.

They do not believe every word Democrats say.

They dare to practice their right to free speech.

They even report the shady shenanigans of prominent Democrats like Diane Feinstein, John Murtha, William Jefferson and Harry Reid.

That makes them worse than Hitler.

Really, it does.

They are pure evil.

And they must be using some sort of subliminal mind control conspiracy to maintain their hold on the listeners and web-surfers of America.

How else can you explain the scandal riddled failure of liberal radio network Air America?

Come on, how can people resist the sharp and brilliant comedy of Al Franken and the raw earthy sex appeal of Janeane Garofolo without some sort of mind-control being involved.

Talk radio and right wing blogs, like this one, must be destroyed.

And they should be replaced with more moderate and sensible voices, like Keith Olberman, Michael Moore, Chris Matthews, Rosie O'Donnell, and Dan Rather.

They don't need facts like those evil right wingers to get to the truth of the matter.

And the fact that 9 out of 10 give money to Democrats doesn't mean that they can't be truly objective.

So let's be fair and stop all that free speech.

It's evil.

8 comments:

Damian G. said...

Heh.

Freedom isn't free - it requires registration in the Democratic Party.

RT said...

Must hand over my soul and ability to think for myself to the Democrats. Life will be better: butterflies will float in the afternoon air, all other countries will see how kind and loving we are, everyone will have free healthcare that doesn't come from taxes [because then it wouldn't be free], and most importantly--we won't have any gun crime!

Dick Steele said...

I want my own show too.
You heterosexuals hog the airwaves!!!

Anonymous said...

Conservatives endlessly complain that virtually the entire news media, save for AM talk radio and the FOX News Channel, are infiltrated by liberals seeking to brainwash the masses. On the flipside, liberals are saying the opposite about the news industry, and that AM talk radio and FOX Noise are just agitprop trash.

What do I think? I don't see the legit news media, which consists of television, print and radio, as being overly biased one way or another. Oh sure, FOX Noise is basically nothing but conservoporn, a whitewashing of the news to make it seem more palatable to whiny conservative hotheads. And conservative talk radio is really just a bunch of phony disc jockeys reading GOP talking points and acting outrageous in order to pad their affiliate base and get ratings.

In general, I see them as dumbing down the news. Let's face it; the news media in America these days really does truly suck. Putting out a legitimate news product is not a priority. The goal is ad revenue. It's about cutting costs (particularly in newspapers). It's about ratings.

Rogue said...

Who cares what anonymous people think?
When you have the stones to print your name, then I'll set you straight on your misbegotten liberal slant.

Anonymous said...

Rogue my name is "fuck you asshole"

Patty said...

The right wing spends billions of dollars in tax-exempt money to hijack the public policy debate in America, and the mainstream media goes along for the ride. The big givers include Milwaukee's Lynde and Harry Bradley Foundation, the Smith Richardson Foundation, and the Scaife, Koch, Coors, and Walton family foundations. They alone have poured $28 million into the American Enterprise Institute. That kind of money buys a lot of "experts." With coordinated giving on a grand scale, they've led the way in funding a movement to radically alter the social, legal, educational, media, political and religious landscapes of the United States, building a supply-side machinery for implementing a hard-right agenda.

Remulak MoxArgon said...

And the billionaire funded Open Society Institute and all of its numerous and sundry spin-offs are totally innocent.

Sure, its backers almost bankrupted the Bank of England, laundered money for dictators, and looted Eastern Europe blind, but like Hitler (according to Huffposter Peter Mehlman) they mean well.