6.05.2007

Time for Tek Support!

Hi Earthlings.

It's your pal TekTak here to give a big shout out to HUMOR BLOGS for making us their "Featured Blog" of the week. That shows that the folks behind that site have questionable taste in blogs.

I kid, I kid. I kid because I love, but not in a sexual way.

Check them out.

Anyway, were starting a new feature where I just give you the lowdown on what I see happening on your tiny little planet and offer my advice. I call it

TEK SUPPORT

THE SITUATION:
Tuberculosis patient, lawyer, and total putz Andrew Speaker got a good prognosis for survival today from his doctors. I got the inside scoop cause my 5th cousin Irving is an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist at that hospital. Of course the rest of the people he potentially exposed to a potentially deadly infection are currently worried sick about getting sick and making others sick. Which is apparently something Andrew Speaker didn't do.

MY ADVICE:
1. As soon as Speaker is cleared and released from the hospital, he should be immediately put in old fashioned stocks, and all the people he exposed to tuberculosis each get one whack at his bare arse with a bamboo cane.

2. Sue that now swollen and sore arse into the stone age. He's a civil litigator and getting sued into at least five generations of abject poverty seems to be the only thing he understands. He obviously doesn't get that whole 'human decency' thing.

3. Call Dr. Phil to examine both him and his wife. Because there is definitely something wrong with that relationship. Is she really that spoiled rotten that she demanded that her husband potentially endanger the lives of hundreds, if not thousands, of people to preserve her honeymoon reservations? And is he that whipped that he doesn't have the stones to just say: "Honey, I have TB and could kill a lot of people, we'll have to postpone it for a while"?

4. Take a good long look at Speaker's wife's daddy. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes or Domar the Great Investigator to think that Speaker catching the exact same strain of TB his Father-In-Law is studying being a coincidence doesn't pass the proverbial smell test. There's something else going on here and if there's a way to blame Bush for the whole thing, it will be an episode of Law & Order next season.

That's all for now, so until next time, stay on point.

1 comment:

Sekhmet said...

That is a *strange* case.