InterGalactic Roundtable 2.11

MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings. It's time for another edition of the Moxargon Group. Joining me are the regular panelists, Xran the Fleshrender, Varos Quasar, and Android Cai/7, complete with a new body.

ANDROID CAI/7- Thank you for the new body. About the flares on the legs...?



MOXARGON- Did you have a question?

ANDROID CAI/7- No. For some reason I am no longer questioning your decision.

MOXARGON- Let's get to work. First topic. A federal judge dismissed the lawsuit filed by Joseph Wilson and Valerie Plame against just about everyone in the Bush administration over the whole non-leak affair. What do you think?

XRAN- I think it was dismissed because they didn't include the man who actually leaked her name to the press, namely Richard Armitage. Isn't it interesting that he wasn't charged for the leak or included in the lawsuit?

MOXARGON- Well he opposed taking down Saddam, that's a great inoculation against personal responsibility.

VAROS- This is just another atrocity committed by the Bush-Hitler War Mongering Zionist War Machine, that, you know, starts wars.

MOXARGON- Are you done?


MOXARGON- Android CAI/7?

ANDROID CAI/7- The collapse of the lawsuit was inevitable. Not only on its merits but also due to the fear Joseph Wilson has for testifying under oath.

MOXARGON- He'll recoil from putting his hand on a bible faster than a vampire. I also think he would have eventually let it drop, probably after the 2008 election cycle, in order to avoid the potentially embarrassing and incriminating cross-examination. Next issue... the jury at the Conrad Black compromised and convicted of some of the smaller charges, still leaving him liable for 30+ years in prison. What do you think?

XRAN- Nothing more than the criminalization of standard business practices while rewarding the same people who literally stole the company from Black and drove it into the dirt.

VAROS- Conrad Black is rich, pompous and politically conservative. He has to be guilty of something that deserves prison.

ANDROID CAI/7- I am interested with how he was convicted of a crime without any victims. In fact the people who claimed to be victims of Black's perfidy did the most damage to the company and their pocketbooks.

MOXARGON- I think the best analogy is of a man who keeps a gun he made with his own hands away from a stupid person. The stupid person charges the gun-making man with stealing the gun and gets a policeman to take the gun from its maker and give it to the stupid person. The stupid person then shoots himself with that gun, and blames it on the man he took the gun from. Next issue... there are some reports that the Chilean Sea Bass served at the wedding of Al Gore's daughter was from a fish farm and not endangered wild bass.

XRAN- I still stand by the skit we played for Snotglob to overhear. That was good funny.

VAROS- Serves you all right for picking on our god-like lord and master!

MOXARGON- The fish farm story hasn't exactly been confirmed yet.

ANDROID CAI/7- Has anyone considered the environmental problems caused by substandard fish farming practices? They have a great potential for spreading hostile bacteria and genetic diseases caused by inbreeding. And if they get into the wild they can endanger the Chilean Sea Bass even further.

MOXARGON- So he's still a hypocrite! Next issue: Congress really did it this week, passing an earmark giving a million dollars to an organization that no one can prove exists. What do you think?

XRAN- I'd like to thank the US Congress for their vote, and I'm also getting a new hot tub installed in my ship.

MOXARGON- What do you think about the all nighter used for the weekly Iraq surrender vote?

XRAN- Missed it, I was asleep.

ANDROID CAI/7- So was Robert Byrd, but it didn't stop him from giving a speech.

VAROS- How can you be so glib about such a monumental event?

MOXARGON- Because nothing happened. The whole event crashed like Andy Dick after a bitch-smack from Jon Lovitz. Our last issue of the day is Britain and Russia. Britain expelled some Russian diplomats over Russia's unwillingness to extradite the chief suspect in the Litvinenko-Polunium murder case. What do you think?

XRAN- I'd have handed him over for the incompetence of leaving radioactive evidence all over half of Europe.

VAROS- Vladimir Putin is just misunderstood.

ANDROID CAI/7- Putin should've have had the assassin snuffed out two minutes after he poisoned Litvinenko both for shoddy workmanship, and to prevent any comebacks to the Kremlin.

MOXARGON- I think it's a perfect illustration of Russian arrogance. They should have given the job to the Bulgarians. They've forgotten more ways to snuff an Earthling without a trace than the Russians have ever learned. That's all the time we have for now folks, so, until next time, remember to keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

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