10.19.2007

I'm Not Crazy!

THE FOLLOWING IS A
PAID POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT BY

REP. FORTNEY "PETE" STARK
(D-Mentia)


My fellow Americans.

Certain right-wing fascist thugs have jumped on my recent comments that soldiers are getting their 'heads blown off' solely for the president's amusement.

I stand by my declaration, and I would like to add that I am not crazy.

In fact, I'm the last sane man in Washington.

I can see things that the others, blinded by their madness cannot.

I can see George W. Bush, sprawled on his throne of Iraqi baby-skulls. cocaine caked on his nostrils, laughing at the deaths of American soldiers while vetoing health insurance for children whose families can afford health insurance!

I also Dick Cheney submerging himself in a vat of children's blood, using their bones for tub-toys!

And I see Condi Rice getting fitted for a snazzy new suit, hand tailored from the skins of American soldiers!

Then this foul trinity sneaks out, assuming the form of Bloody Marys, and savagely pummeling Randi Rhoades, laughing all the way!

I see it all!

These visions come to me in my morning bowl of Captain Crunch. The Captain also tells me that 9/11 was run by the Joos!

He has to be right, because the goblin that lives in my toilet agrees with him.

So you see, I'm not crazy!

I think I just made a messy in my pants.... where am I?

You're the one that's crazy for not seeing the obvious!


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1 comment:

Sekhmet said...

My 8-year-old was looking over my shoulder while I was reading this, and laughed his patootie off. I think you have a new fan