11.07.2007

Setting the Record Straight!

Greetings puny Earthlings.

I'm here to quell an unsettling rumor before it spreads like Baltarian Plague.

IT WAS NOT, I REPEAT, NOT MY UFO THAT DENNIS KUCINICH SAW AT SHIRLEY MACLAINE'S HOUSE.

What Kucinich described was an 34321-Nimbus from the Antarean Consensus, and let me tell you something, I wouldn't be caught dead in one of those things.

They're the Gremlin of Interstellar Travel.

Sure, it's got lots of pretty lights, but its temporal-displacement drive is crap, it eats through Helium3 like no tomorrow, and its weapons systems couldn't scratch the paint on my nephew's toy truck.

So no matter what Kucinich, or Shirley MacLaine say, I was not there.

Mostly because she insists on serving vegan meals at parties, and I eat vegans, not vegan meals.

That's all, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

4 comments:

Davros said...

I had a 34321-Nimbus when I was in high school. Total POS, but a roomy back seat if you know what I mean.

Remulak MoxArgon said...

The roomy back seat is for all the tentacles.

RT said...

Wouldn't eating vegans mean you are having a vegan meal?

RememberSekhmet said...

Oh, MAN! That was me! Sorry about that, y'all. Just goes to show I shouldn't be driving after a ten-hour shift and two beers.