Oops, My Bad...

A
SPECIAL
GUEST COMMENTARY

by

CHRIS
MATTHEWS
Host of MSNBC's Hardball

First of all, I'd like to say.... ahem.... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for being a sexist male-chauvinist pig.

Not for all the times I've insulted and belittled female conservatives and Republicans. Nor for all the times I've lustily ogled comely female guests, audience members, and passersby.

I'm sorry that my sexist male chauvinism compelled me, without due cause or reason, to offer a critical opinion of Hillary Clinton.

Whether or not people believe that opinion to be true, it should not be expressed in any way shape or form, because it will offend and outrage George Soros all women.

I've come now to believe that my crime is light years worse than female genital mutilation, honour killings, and the oppression of women in Islamist societies. If it wasn't the feminists wouldn't have gone after me so hard, because we all know that they don't care for grabbing political advantages for their backers and candidates, only real justice for women.

So, like Michael Richards on bended knee before Al Sharpton, I beg you to please forgive me, and let me get back to my show.

I promise to only be insulting to Republicans.

Vote Hillary (or she'll hurt me.)