1.17.2008

The Push Poll Game

Okay puny Earthlings.

We have a new game for you to try today. I call it, the Push Poll Game.

All you have to do is match the push poll question with the campaign who is asking it.

So let's get started:

REPUBLICAN PUSH POLL QUESTION:
Would you like to vote for:

a) A saintly Christian minister who is personally endorsed by Jehovah himself, who will rain hell-fire on those who don't support him.

b) A cross dressing philandering friend of homosexuals.

c) An evil billionaire who belongs to a wacky cult that probably doesn't eat babies as part of their godless rituals, but could be.

d) A crotchety old war veteran who might just be a brainwashed Manchurian Candidate programmed to hand over the country to the Red Chinese.

e) A cranky old actor whose hot wife shows that he is somehow connected to Satan.
DEMOCRATIC PUSH POLL QUESTION:
Who would you like to vote for:

a) A brilliant independent woman who can single handedly bring lower oil prices, world peace, and universal health care if only you'd help her defeat oppressive men and a vast-right wing conspiracy.

b) A naive inexperienced child who spends his free time snorting cocaine off the butt of a prostitute while reciting passages from the Koran.

c) A wussy pretty boy ambulance chaser.
Guess which campaigns composed those polls, and win a prize. A DAY PASS from the mucus mines!

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

2 comments:

Wyatt Earp said...

Oh, oh, oh, call on me, I'm ever so smart!!!

It was Ron Paul, right???

B.C. said...

I'm stumped. Could ya' give us a few hints?