Yes I Can...

(D- ILL)

My fellow Identity-Americans.

As your future president I want to thank my supporters, for their... well, support.

Your mindless support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement, my pastor's relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.

I also like how my supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behaviour somehow qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush's youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope shining over a sea of political posing.

I would also like to thank the Kennedy's for coming out in support of me. There's a lot of glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam War, his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King Jr. and Teddy killed a teenage girl. And I'm not going anywhere near the cousins, both literally and figuratively.

And I'd like to thank Oprah Winfrey for her support.

Her love of meaningless empty platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.

Americans should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or achievement, but because I make people feel good.

I say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have meaning, then that means you have to think about them.

Americans are tired of thinking.

It's time to shut down the brain, and open up the heart.

So when you go to vote in the primaries, remember don't think, just do.

And do it for me.

Thank You.


DebbieKinIL said...

Jumping out of lurkdom to say.
The other day in my DD's elementary school here in ILL-In-NOISE, a teacher put up a picture of Sen. BO and said that he was going to be the next POTUS. The pix was for Black history month. She said he was making history so pay attention and Hillary who???-LOL- Yep, the teachers are brain washing my 3rd grader on our ILL-Lustrious, Inexperienced Senator.
You can tell I was NOT pleased and had to set DD straight. Sen. BO (love to use those initials) MIGHT be the next POTUS, because the brain dead voters think he is the "New Kennedy". Sh*t then I had to tell her about the "Old Kennedy".

waltj said...

Yeah, the old Kennedy wasn't that great. Not bad, but not the demigod that he's metamorphasized into since his murder. I've been around long enough to remember him, and while I was still very young then, I do recall that his record as President was quite mixed. Good on tax cuts and on facing down Khruschev over the missiles in Cuba, not so good on Vietnam, etc. In other words, a typical President, with both successes and failures to his name. He simply didn't live long enough for us to know whether the rest of his administration would have been like FDR's or like Harding's, or, more likely, somewhere in between.

Obama, of course, plays to the memory not the record. That's fair enough, politicians do it all the time. People should realize, however, that Obama is selling the "sizzle" of Camelot, while ignoring the unappetizing leftover "steak" of his all too conventional leftist orthodoxy. I certainly have my specific disagreements with McCain (under no circumstances would I vote for Hillary), but at least I can support him overall. I agree with Obama on his desire to restore some civility to U.S. politics. Beyond that, we part ways entirely.