APAID
POLITICAL
ANNOUNCEMENT
BY
AL
FRANKEN
(D-FL Candidate for Minnesota Senator)
I must be important. Because the Rethuglikkkan attackkk machine of the big fat idiot Rush Limbaugh, the crypto-nazi Bill O'Reilly, George Stephanopolous, and their snivelling snot-nosed servants at Hot Air are making a big deal over a few of my little deals.
Oh sure, they make a big deal on me skipping on paying the disability and worker's comp premiums for my employees, but look at it from my point of view, if we had the universal health care that only Democrats can provide, I wouldn't have to pay those premiums.
And so I may have skipped on my California state taxes for a few years, but I'm a celebrity, a comedy legend, I deserve a little leeway.
Come on, if nobody's gone to prison for Air America's finances yet, I shouldn't be hassled over my taxes, or lack thereof.
Hmmm... looks like I'm losing the crowd here. Better do what I do best, and that's tell jokes.
Okay, Dick Cheney walks into a bar... and shoots some guy in the face!
Come on, I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing.
All right, how about this one.
What's the difference between Adolph Hitler and George W. Bush?
Adolph Hitler wasn't a chimp.
Huh-huh?
Come on folks these are the jokes.
If I was still on SNL they'd be rolling on the floor with these!
You of f*cking fascist bastards!
Okay, take a deep breath Al. You're not a failure, they're just too stupid to get your cerebral brand of comedy. Okay?
Remember, I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, and darn it, people like me.
Don't you?
F*ck this, I'm going to go crawl under the bed with a bottle of Jack and cry myself to sleep.
Again.
Bastards.
Oh sure, they make a big deal on me skipping on paying the disability and worker's comp premiums for my employees, but look at it from my point of view, if we had the universal health care that only Democrats can provide, I wouldn't have to pay those premiums.
And so I may have skipped on my California state taxes for a few years, but I'm a celebrity, a comedy legend, I deserve a little leeway.
Come on, if nobody's gone to prison for Air America's finances yet, I shouldn't be hassled over my taxes, or lack thereof.
Hmmm... looks like I'm losing the crowd here. Better do what I do best, and that's tell jokes.
Okay, Dick Cheney walks into a bar... and shoots some guy in the face!
Come on, I know you're out there, I can hear you breathing.
All right, how about this one.
What's the difference between Adolph Hitler and George W. Bush?
Adolph Hitler wasn't a chimp.
Huh-huh?
Come on folks these are the jokes.
If I was still on SNL they'd be rolling on the floor with these!
You of f*cking fascist bastards!
Okay, take a deep breath Al. You're not a failure, they're just too stupid to get your cerebral brand of comedy. Okay?
Remember, I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, and darn it, people like me.
Don't you?
WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME!
F*ck this, I'm going to go crawl under the bed with a bottle of Jack and cry myself to sleep.
Again.
Bastards.
4 comments:
If 3 years of time in the federal pen is good enough for Weseley Snipes, then, darn it, it's good enough for Al Franken.
Liberals like Al Franken are simply not funny when it comes to political humor because humor requires making fun of things, something which goes against that which they believe.
I don't know why so many comics pick a side in politics. Both sides suck so why limit yourself to one option?
Hey, he's on his way to being a true politician! He's corrupt and ignores the laws we little people must obey.
Can I offer you a bottle of OxyContin to go with that Jack? Might help with the crying...permanently!
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