MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings. It's been too long, but we have managed to take some time from our busy schedules for another edition of Intergalactic Roundtable. I'm joined, as usual, by Xran the Fleshrender, Android Cai/7, and Varos Quasar. Let's light this candle. First topic: Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama has been flipping and flopping more than a live fish in a frying pan. What's your opinion?
XRAN- I think it shows that the only thing Barack Obama believes in is his own quest for power.
VAROS- Xran you are worse than Hitler! Barack Obama's constantly changing positions are a sign of maturity. It would be flip-flopping if done by anyone else, especially a Republican.
ANDROID CAI/7- Such posing and posturing is a highly illogical way to lead an empire.
MOXARGON- But it seems to be a very logical way to win an election, especially when the entire Mainstream Media thinks you're the best thing since chilled zygoria. And Varos, it's not a sign of maturity, it is flip flopping. Second topic: Obama's advisers have been putting their collective feet in it. First a foreign policy adviser said that he thought Winnie the Pooh was going to be the foundation text for Obama's presidency. What do you think?
XRAN- One thing about Winnie the Pooh is that America will be deep in it if Obama gets elected.
MOXARGON- You stole my joke.
XRAN- You know the rules, you snooze, you lose.
VAROS- What's wrong with Winnie the Pooh? He's a bear of little brain, and everyone likes him because he doesn't do anything.
ANDROID CAI/7- Though logically speaking it is a children's book, and has about as much connection to the real world as the patriotism of the New York Times.
MOXARGON- I had a joke, but Xran nicked it. So I'll move on to Wesley Clark. The former general and Obama toady slagged John McCain's war record, stating that getting shot down does not qualify him for the presidency--
XRAN- But half a term in the Senate and some work for ACORN does?
MOXARGON- Quit stealing my jokes!
VAROS- Just what did John McCain do that was so great? All he did was exhibit courage and leadership under extreme circumstances that would kill a lesser man.
ANDROID CAI/7- I think Varos made my point.
MOXARGON- Next topic, the war in Iraq.
XRAN- Is there still a war in Iraq?
MOXARGON- What the hell? You did it again!
XRAN- I'm just feeling sharp tonight.
MOXARGON- Anyway, Al Qaida in Iraq is getting a royal pounding about the head and butt--
XRAN- Which aren't that far apart for an Al Qaida member.
MOXARGON- Stop that! Al Qaida is getting creamed, and the American media is ignoring it.
VAROS- Iraq is a quagmire that is doomed to defeat! No facts or actual victories will ever change that!
ANDROID CAI/7- Once again Varos has made my point.
MOXARGON- Well at least he's not stealing your jokes. But that is the point. If Franklin Roosevelt was a Republican, the press wouldn't have reported either VE Day or VJ Day, and folks would have to wait for their loved ones to come home from the front to find out that they've won. Claiming there's no bias in the media is the biggest lie since the moon landings. Which actually happened on Mars. A little prank on our part... but next topic. Daily Kos has been called out by bloggers for showing how to make fake press passes. Their intent is for protest groups like Code Pink to use them, but it'll be likely that their buddies in Al Qaida have the same information.
XRAN- My solution would be making forging documents a death penalty offence.
VAROS- Faking documents and violating security is an essential component of free speech. Even if it gets a lot of people killed.
ANDROID CAI/7- We are just taking everyone else's points today, aren't we?
MOXARGON- Well, I guess you could say---
XRAN- That those Code Pink press passes are as real as their loyalty.
MOXARGON- Wait a minute, what's that in your ear? It's a brain scanner, you sneaky little joke poacher!
VAROS- Stop fighting! Violence doesn't solve anything!
ANDROID CAI/7- I guess I will do the sign off. Keep watching the skies organic Earthlings, because we are watching you.
XRAN- I think it shows that the only thing Barack Obama believes in is his own quest for power.
VAROS- Xran you are worse than Hitler! Barack Obama's constantly changing positions are a sign of maturity. It would be flip-flopping if done by anyone else, especially a Republican.
ANDROID CAI/7- Such posing and posturing is a highly illogical way to lead an empire.
MOXARGON- But it seems to be a very logical way to win an election, especially when the entire Mainstream Media thinks you're the best thing since chilled zygoria. And Varos, it's not a sign of maturity, it is flip flopping. Second topic: Obama's advisers have been putting their collective feet in it. First a foreign policy adviser said that he thought Winnie the Pooh was going to be the foundation text for Obama's presidency. What do you think?
XRAN- One thing about Winnie the Pooh is that America will be deep in it if Obama gets elected.
MOXARGON- You stole my joke.
XRAN- You know the rules, you snooze, you lose.
VAROS- What's wrong with Winnie the Pooh? He's a bear of little brain, and everyone likes him because he doesn't do anything.
ANDROID CAI/7- Though logically speaking it is a children's book, and has about as much connection to the real world as the patriotism of the New York Times.
MOXARGON- I had a joke, but Xran nicked it. So I'll move on to Wesley Clark. The former general and Obama toady slagged John McCain's war record, stating that getting shot down does not qualify him for the presidency--
XRAN- But half a term in the Senate and some work for ACORN does?
MOXARGON- Quit stealing my jokes!
VAROS- Just what did John McCain do that was so great? All he did was exhibit courage and leadership under extreme circumstances that would kill a lesser man.
ANDROID CAI/7- I think Varos made my point.
MOXARGON- Next topic, the war in Iraq.
XRAN- Is there still a war in Iraq?
MOXARGON- What the hell? You did it again!
XRAN- I'm just feeling sharp tonight.
MOXARGON- Anyway, Al Qaida in Iraq is getting a royal pounding about the head and butt--
XRAN- Which aren't that far apart for an Al Qaida member.
MOXARGON- Stop that! Al Qaida is getting creamed, and the American media is ignoring it.
VAROS- Iraq is a quagmire that is doomed to defeat! No facts or actual victories will ever change that!
ANDROID CAI/7- Once again Varos has made my point.
MOXARGON- Well at least he's not stealing your jokes. But that is the point. If Franklin Roosevelt was a Republican, the press wouldn't have reported either VE Day or VJ Day, and folks would have to wait for their loved ones to come home from the front to find out that they've won. Claiming there's no bias in the media is the biggest lie since the moon landings. Which actually happened on Mars. A little prank on our part... but next topic. Daily Kos has been called out by bloggers for showing how to make fake press passes. Their intent is for protest groups like Code Pink to use them, but it'll be likely that their buddies in Al Qaida have the same information.
XRAN- My solution would be making forging documents a death penalty offence.
VAROS- Faking documents and violating security is an essential component of free speech. Even if it gets a lot of people killed.
ANDROID CAI/7- We are just taking everyone else's points today, aren't we?
MOXARGON- Well, I guess you could say---
XRAN- That those Code Pink press passes are as real as their loyalty.
MOXARGON- Wait a minute, what's that in your ear? It's a brain scanner, you sneaky little joke poacher!
(Moxargon starts beating Xran)
VAROS- Stop fighting! Violence doesn't solve anything!
ANDROID CAI/7- I guess I will do the sign off. Keep watching the skies organic Earthlings, because we are watching you.
1 comment:
It doesn't matter if Code Pinkos forge fake ID passes. Their body odor will give them away when they try to use those passes!
Not to mention that those Code Pinko wymyn are so ugly they'll stop trucks on their way to whatever event they're going to.
-- chicopanther
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