9.29.2008

Bail Out Has Bailed Out...

Greetings puny Earthlings.

It looks like the bailout has tanked, and Wall Street is having a hissy fit over not getting any taxpayer's money to cover their stupidity, and the media is talking like it's the end of your world.

Hah.

Let me tell you something, if my starships aren't in orbit over your major cities, it is not the end of your world.

It has recently come to my attention that Wall Street habitually gives to Democrats $2 for every $1 given to Republicans, and yet Republicans are considered the "party of big business."

Why do you think that is?

Because most Wall Street big wheels these days, aren't real capitalists. Sure they love money, they'd have sexual relations with piles of cash if they could avoid the inevitable and nasty paper cuts.

But there is one thing they love more than money.

It's your money.

It's getting your money for free.

If they can suck on the government teat for all it's worth, they will do it.

That's why they give so heavily to Democrats. They want the free handouts that socialism promises, but hope the obedience they buy from the politicians will stop them from full nationalization.

I didn't like the deal. It struck me as stupidity insurance, when the whole system, which supported, nay promoted, blatant stupidity, should have been gutted long ago, and I think a better plan can be thought up.

And Pelosi screwed the pooch when she took the vote as a chance to take one last shot at the lame duck Bush. Turning the on-the-fence Republicans against the deal completely.

Why? Because to the leftist the cheap shot during an election is worth more than actually accomplishing anything.

The Leftist doesn't really want to accomplish anything, they just want to blame someone else for their failures.

Ironically, this has happened before, and I'm not talking about 1929. I'm actually talking about 1907.

In 1907 the Gilded Age came crashing down with dozens of banks collapsing under the weight of bad loans. JP Morgan, then King of Wall Street, gathered every major banker, and in one overnight marathon session, arranged an entire system for healthy banks to buy the sick ones, get the loans properly handled through a new reserve system.

The panic was averted, and business began to prosper again, for over 20 more years.

Sadly, there are no JP Morgans on Wall Street anymore. The current crop aren't interested in leaving a legacy of stability and prosperity, all they care about is their next quarterly bonus, before it's discovered that they earned it by playing with the books rather than actually earning any money.

Thanks to the New Deal and Keynesian economics, folks now turn to the state to fix these problems completely, there's no partnership with private interest carrying the bulk of the load, they just sit back and wait for the politicos they paid for to pony up with the band-aid solution to save their golden parachutes.

In my Empire, when an executive steals, squanders, or stinks up a company, costing millions of dollars and hundreds of jobs, I give them a special Golden Dismissal.

I have them encased in molten gold, and then auctioned off to other CEOs, who are forced to bid at blaster point. It's a way to keep their eyes on the ball and not anyone else's wallet.

I also have all bonuses held in escrow for a year, to prove that they came from real profits, and not from accounting shenanigans. Just to keep them honest.

Oh well, enjoy the collapse of your civilization and keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

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