Quasar's Media Roundtable...

VAROS QUASAR: Good evening and welcome to my very own feature, my MEDIA ROUNDTABLE, where I discuss important issues in Earthling politics with the most objective and non-partisan journalists in the world. Joining me are Jack Cafferty of CNN's the Cafferty File.


VAROS QUASAR: Respected investigative journalist and intellectual Keith Olbermann.

KEITH OLBERMANN: Good night and good luck.

VAROS QUASAR: And finally, honoured journalist and public thinker Chris Matthews.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Barack Obama is a god to you people.

VAROS QUASAR: Let's start the roundtable with our first topic. John McCain has named Alaska governor Sarah Palin to be his Vice Presidential candidate. What do you fellows think about this appointment?

JACK CAFFERTY: She's a self-made woman with years of executive experience and a solid working class, American Christian background. She is pure, unadulterated evil.

KEITH OLBERMANN: Her experience, crusades against corruption even within her own party, and even her looks, make her a cancer on this country, not seen since Nazi Germany.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: I have it on good authority that Sarah Palin hunts hobos for sport.

VAROS QUASAR: Really, that's fascinating.

JACK CAFFERTY: And what about her knocked up daughter?

KEITH OLBERMANN: That disqualifies her from being one heartbeat away from the presidency even more than a history of plagiarism, brazen partisanship, and an utter lack of accomplishment.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Let's not forget her daughter!

JACK CAFFERTY: Yes, we must crush the daughter to destroy the mother!

KEITH OLBERMANN: Attack! Attack!

VAROS QUASAR: Wait, didn't Barack Obama asked you to leave the families of politicians alone?

JACK CAFFERTY: That's nothing.

KEITH OLBERMANN: Yeah, that's what he said, but it wasn't what he meant.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: What he meant was to leave the families of Democrats alone.

VAROS QUASAR: That makes sense. Well, Remulak's cutting us off, so that's all the time we have for now, so we'll see you next time.

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