11.19.2008

A Few Thoughts I'm Sending To Your Brains...

Greetings puny Earthlings, time for just a few random thoughts I'd like to telepathically send your way.

1. To Radical Gay Activists... your recent behaviour of threatening, physical bullying, and insane rage over the passing of "traditional marriage" amendments shows that you do not understand either the issue at hand, or your own status in society.

Gay is not the new black, you're richer, much richer, than blacks have traditionally been in US history, you are not being denied the right to vote, you are not being denied any of the "partner benefits" given married people and folks under common-law relationships, cops are not sending attack dogs on you, and there's even "hate crime" legislation to help protect you, which I personally think is silly, because has anyone heard of a "love crime." All that happened was that you were outvoted in an attempt to rewrite centuries of civilizational tradition to appease the extreme radical fringe and its desire to "put one over" mainstream religious communities.

I think the main reason we never hear any hard statistics on just how many gays really support such measures is because the silent majority either doesn't want it, or doesn't care.

You're not making any friends with this childish behaviour, remember, marriage is supposed to be for adults, not children having temper tantrums.

2. To Hollywood... In a sort of related story, I hear that you're going to be releasing a bio-pic about the late San Francisco city supervisor and gay rights activist Harvey Milk, and I'm not talking about the mis-casting of Sean Penn, from what I've seen of Milk's life he could be witty and charming, which Penn is definitely not.

Instead I'm wondering if the film will mention one of Milk's most prominent political allies: The Reverend Jim Jones, who ordered the mass suicide/homicide of over 900 of his followers in Guyana on November 18, 1978, ironically, just days before Milk's own murder. Jones was the go-to for liberal, leftist, and Democratic Party causes, providing fundraising, crowds for rallies, and an army of willing volunteers to work for candidates like Milk, and then Mayor and fellow murder victim George Moscone, who then used their influence to keep police and the media from investigating his People's Temple Cult.

I'm just asking, will it be mentioned?

3. To the Trading Nations of the World... Somali pirates are attacking shipping left and right. Kidnapping crews, and holding them and their ships for millions in ransom money. Now, I have to say that my predecessor tried to appease the star pirates of the Novidian Cluster, and all that did was make them bolder, and pirates in other regions more aggressive.

There is only one solution: Decimation.

For every ship seized, Somalia will lose one village, town, or city, based on the number of hostages held, and the value of the seized cargo. Trust me, once the locals realize that all the pirates can bring them is are heavy plasma bombings, they won't be so keen to supply and support them anymore.

Trust me, the Novidian Cluster's a lot safer now.

4. To The Detroit Auto Industry... There's a simple fact of life, creatures that can't compete either evolve or die. A bailout will just be the state sanctioning the inefficient manufacture of cars that people don't want because they lack quality, economy, and endurance. I think Chapter 11 is a good idea for all involved, it will allow them to get out from under those abysmal contracts with the UAW, where they pay thousands of workers full salary, to not work, because they can't fire them, and for overpriced benefit and retirement plans that could have been cheaper if they had been handled more efficiently.

Sometimes it's merciful to just let them die, allow people to get their lives and businesses started over, and move on.

5. To Al Franken... If you somehow win the recount against Norm Coleman it will only be through fraud. Which means that you're more than just a squandered comedian, failed talk-radio host, and questionable money manager, you're are criminal scum. Ballots found in places like a car only cheapen you, and demean democracy.

6. To President Elect Barack Obama... Change you can believe in, by bringing in a cabinet of either hyper-partisan Clinton cronies, Chicago machine hacks, ACORN type activists, and slum profiteers. Congratulations, you've already started disappointing your voters, a new record.

Keep watching the stars, because we're watching you.

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