Greeting puny Earthlings, we haven't done this in a while, so here's a new edition of NEWS OF THE EARTH!
1. Earthling scientists (or as we call them: witch doctors) are baffled by this sight on the planet Saturn...
What a pack of primitives, acting like they've never seen an hyperspace starship portal under construction before. I laugh at your ignorance!
2. Everyone's getting a bailout in the USA! Which is a joke in itself.
3. It looks like bloggers at MSNBC were duped into believing a hoax intended to make Sara Palin look stupid. Gee, how could that happen to a the same bastion of journalistic probity that employs Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, and Rachel Maddow.
4. The pregnant "man" who gave birth a while back, is reportedly pregnant again. Gee, acting sexually irresponsibly, that person might just be a man after all.
That's all for now, and until next time, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.