2.18.2009

An Android Among the Stars

Greeting organic meat-sacks. As you can see I am still trapped in the position of "entertainment editor" for this blog, and my attempts to procrastinate my way out of it have failed.

So here is your entertainment news.

- Singer Chris Brown is under investigation for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend pop singer Rihanna. If the reports that he bit her during the alleged assault are true, she should be careful. According to Earthling mythology during the next full moon that bite from Chris Brown could turn her into a flaming asshole just like him.

- Xran said that she should track down Chris Brown and beat him with her u-u-umbrella-ella-ella-ella.

- The Academy Awards are coming up. Nobody outside of Barbra Walters seems to care.

- Some criticized actress Salma Hayak for breast-feeding another woman's baby. I can state first hand that she's not all that generous with the breastfeeding. MoxArgon asked her, and she slapped him. And by slapped, I mean struck with a ball-peen hammer.

- Warner Bros Pictures has released a commerative Watchmen Dr. Manhattan brand Condom. They don't expect it to make much money, or do much to promote the upcoming Watchmen film. They just did it to make Allan Moore pull out his beard in rage.

- In a related story, Allan Moore has checked into a London hospital, for a beard transplant operation. Xran will be a donor.

That is all for now.

End Communication.

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