MOXARGON- Greetings puny Earthlings and welcome to a very rare edition of The MoxArgon Group. Joining me is a full cast with Xran The Fleshrender, space pirate and author of Xran Xplains Earth, which is ironically, not available on Earth. We're also joined by entertainment correspondent Android Cai/7, token liberal Varos Quasar, our token Earthling Vox Poplar, and our Point Counterpoint posse Tektak F. Mechanoid, and Snotglob T. Mutant. Let's get started. First up, the "stimulus."
XRAN- A complete boondoggle of the first water that will only succeed in wasting billions, if not trillions of taxpayer's dollars.
ANDROID CAI/7- Actually, I believe that it is a very logical plan.
MOXARGON- How in the name of Xenu can this plan be logical.
ANDROID CAI/7- Democrats desire power, as much power as they can grab, for as long as they can hold it.
MOXARGON- Okay, I can see where you're going, why don't you just explain it for the audience.
ANDROID CAI/7- Democrats can only be assured of victory if they make everyone dependent on federal largesse, and henceforth dependent on the Democratic Party.
MOXARGON- Of course, no one's going to vote for someone who is going to take away their goodies.
TEKTAK- And let's not forget how Rahm Emmanuel's going to screw up the census bureau to help that along.
SNOTGLOB- How dare you accuse a noble public servant like Rahm Emmanuel of screwing up the census bureau!
MOXARGON- Okay, who wants to do it this time.
VOX- Can I?
MOXARGON- Knock yourself out.
VOX- Snotglob you ignorant hermaphrodite slut!
TEKTAK- Why does everyone want to take my catch-phrase?
VAROS- Don't distract us with your right wing lunacy! The world needs to know how Rahm Emmanuel will bring fairness to the census!
MOXARGON- How can the "estimating" of populations by politically motivated hacks be somehow fairer than a straightforward head count?
VAROS- Because Democrats are doing it, and Democrats always have the best intentions! Top that!
SNOTGLOB- Yeah, what he said!
MOXARGON- Actually that raises an interesting point. Any knowledge of history and economics will tell you that this stimulus will fail, and probably prolong this recession, and maybe even worsen it to the level of the 1970s ~Carter administration. But the leftists say it's okay, because they claim to have good intentions. And what is the classic argument leftists have to anyone who questions them? Varos...?
VAROS- You're just a toady of big business!
MOXARGON- You see, their only defense is to accuse those who question them of having bad intentions. They honestly believe that they have the monopoly on goodness.
SNOTGLOB- But liberals have been on the right side of every issue in history!
MOXARGON- Yeah, like eugenics, communism, and appeasing the Nazis. How did those work out in the end?
SNOTGLOB- You're insane! Janeane Garafolo read your body language and says that you're schizophrenic!
XRAN- That's their second defense. They claim to have a monopoly on not only goodness, but sanity.
VAROS- Sean Penn told me that you're a sex fiend.
ANDROID CAI/7- That's not a diagnosis, he has that on his name tag.
VOX- At least I got a chance to zing Snotglob.
MOXARGON- Boy we didn't stick to any topics today. Maybe we'll have better luck next time. So until then, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.
XRAN- A complete boondoggle of the first water that will only succeed in wasting billions, if not trillions of taxpayer's dollars.
ANDROID CAI/7- Actually, I believe that it is a very logical plan.
MOXARGON- How in the name of Xenu can this plan be logical.
ANDROID CAI/7- Democrats desire power, as much power as they can grab, for as long as they can hold it.
MOXARGON- Okay, I can see where you're going, why don't you just explain it for the audience.
ANDROID CAI/7- Democrats can only be assured of victory if they make everyone dependent on federal largesse, and henceforth dependent on the Democratic Party.
MOXARGON- Of course, no one's going to vote for someone who is going to take away their goodies.
TEKTAK- And let's not forget how Rahm Emmanuel's going to screw up the census bureau to help that along.
SNOTGLOB- How dare you accuse a noble public servant like Rahm Emmanuel of screwing up the census bureau!
MOXARGON- Okay, who wants to do it this time.
VOX- Can I?
MOXARGON- Knock yourself out.
VOX- Snotglob you ignorant hermaphrodite slut!
TEKTAK- Why does everyone want to take my catch-phrase?
VAROS- Don't distract us with your right wing lunacy! The world needs to know how Rahm Emmanuel will bring fairness to the census!
MOXARGON- How can the "estimating" of populations by politically motivated hacks be somehow fairer than a straightforward head count?
VAROS- Because Democrats are doing it, and Democrats always have the best intentions! Top that!
SNOTGLOB- Yeah, what he said!
MOXARGON- Actually that raises an interesting point. Any knowledge of history and economics will tell you that this stimulus will fail, and probably prolong this recession, and maybe even worsen it to the level of the 1970s ~Carter administration. But the leftists say it's okay, because they claim to have good intentions. And what is the classic argument leftists have to anyone who questions them? Varos...?
VAROS- You're just a toady of big business!
MOXARGON- You see, their only defense is to accuse those who question them of having bad intentions. They honestly believe that they have the monopoly on goodness.
SNOTGLOB- But liberals have been on the right side of every issue in history!
MOXARGON- Yeah, like eugenics, communism, and appeasing the Nazis. How did those work out in the end?
SNOTGLOB- You're insane! Janeane Garafolo read your body language and says that you're schizophrenic!
XRAN- That's their second defense. They claim to have a monopoly on not only goodness, but sanity.
VAROS- Sean Penn told me that you're a sex fiend.
ANDROID CAI/7- That's not a diagnosis, he has that on his name tag.
VOX- At least I got a chance to zing Snotglob.
MOXARGON- Boy we didn't stick to any topics today. Maybe we'll have better luck next time. So until then, keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.
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