ASPECIAL GUEST
COMMENTARY BY
SONIA SOTAMAYOR
Nominee for the Supreme Court of the USA
Hello, and thank you for coming to this post to bask in the awesome power of my wisdom as a Latina.
It is not my judicial experience that makes me the most qualified candidate ever for the Supreme Court. It is that I am a Latina, and I have a vagina.
It is this Latina vagina of mine that grants me wisdom beyond my phallocentric predecessors and colleagues.
My Latina vagina is the source of my great empathy. My empathy is a force more powerful than the rule of law, because while laws were written by White Anglo-Saxon Penises, my empathy stands for the oppressed.
My empathy says that there's no problem with the Justice Department canceling investigations of voter intimidation by the Black Panthers, because those Black Panthers were acting out of empathy.
It also says that there is no problem with taking guns away from otherwise law-abiding people, because people who own guns don't have the empathy that I have.
I also have great empathy for Barack Obama and the inevitable racist criticism he will receive for taking his wife on Air Force 1 to New York to see a show. Sure, it cost a lot of money, and seemed more fitting a monarch than a president, but it's Obama, so criticising him will make you a racist.
Though I must admit that my empathy isn't infinite. My Latina vagina feels no empathy at all for the people who want illegal aliens who commit violent crimes, including rape and murder, deported back to their countries.
How racist and evil can you get?
That's the sort of evil the empathy of my Latina vagina will vanquish.
I will do everything I can, even if it isn't in the stupid phallocentric constitution, to ensure that those immigrants can stay in this country, legally or not, no matter how many people they rape, attack, and kill.
Because it's all about empathy.
And that's all that matters.
It is not my judicial experience that makes me the most qualified candidate ever for the Supreme Court. It is that I am a Latina, and I have a vagina.
It is this Latina vagina of mine that grants me wisdom beyond my phallocentric predecessors and colleagues.
My Latina vagina is the source of my great empathy. My empathy is a force more powerful than the rule of law, because while laws were written by White Anglo-Saxon Penises, my empathy stands for the oppressed.
My empathy says that there's no problem with the Justice Department canceling investigations of voter intimidation by the Black Panthers, because those Black Panthers were acting out of empathy.
It also says that there is no problem with taking guns away from otherwise law-abiding people, because people who own guns don't have the empathy that I have.
I also have great empathy for Barack Obama and the inevitable racist criticism he will receive for taking his wife on Air Force 1 to New York to see a show. Sure, it cost a lot of money, and seemed more fitting a monarch than a president, but it's Obama, so criticising him will make you a racist.
Though I must admit that my empathy isn't infinite. My Latina vagina feels no empathy at all for the people who want illegal aliens who commit violent crimes, including rape and murder, deported back to their countries.
How racist and evil can you get?
That's the sort of evil the empathy of my Latina vagina will vanquish.
I will do everything I can, even if it isn't in the stupid phallocentric constitution, to ensure that those immigrants can stay in this country, legally or not, no matter how many people they rape, attack, and kill.
Because it's all about empathy.
And that's all that matters.
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