Finally, The Truth Is Out!!!

Greetings puny Earthlings.

A caller to Al Sharpton's radio has a theory about what really happened to Michael Jackson: (h/t Radio Equalizer)

Well it makes perfect sense to me that the Governor of Alaska will have some involvement in the death of a washed up, surgically mangled, faux-Caucasian pop-singer who was so out of his gourd in his last years that he probably never heard of her, even when she ran for Vice President.

And I think that the fact that Sharpton first reaction wasn't to call her a raging paranoid lunatic tells us a lot about him too.

But I think her conspiracy theory lacks the right amount of verisimilitude. So here are some more believable ones:

1. Obama killed Michael Jackson to distract the media from the mounting failures of his administration, and that congress passed the Cap & Trade bill that will cripple the US economy.

2. CNN killed Michael Jackson to get something to hopefully attract viewers from Fox News.

3. Bubbles did it.

4. Obama didn't kill Michael Jackson, HE IS MICHAEL JACKSON. Look at the evidence, he's a very white black man, with an immense ego, bloated sense of self importance, adoring media coverage that ignore his many faults, and a tendency to rack up massive debts in very short periods of time.

That last one kinda scared me.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

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