Damn It People Do Like Me!

A
SPECIAL
MOMENT
OF TRUTH
VICTORY SPEECH
BY SENATOR
AL FRANKEN

(D- Voter Fraud Minnesota)

Who'd have thought that a man with an admitted background of cocaine abuse, erratic behavior, violent temper, and profiting from Air America's stealing money from a charity, could get elected as a United States Senator.

I have to also admit that I owe my election to some of the Democratic Party's most vital constituents.

1. Dead voters.
2. Illegal immigrants.
3. Corrupt election officials.
4. The lawyers and judges who make such fraud possible.

Of course the fact that I could even get close enough for fraud to land the win owes a lot to the fact that Democrats will vote for anyone, even a crazy washed up comic, no matter how crazy, if ordered to by the party elite.

Anyway, thanks to me the Democratic Party has the super-majority it needs to bring in an agenda that will cripple this country for generations to come.

I'm talking about Cap & Trade, which will spark enormous inflation, and destroy about 2.5 million jobs a year, but will make a lot of hedge fund managers rich as they sell bullshit carbon credits that will make sub-primes look solid and dependable, and suck billions in subsidies out of bogus windmill projects.

I'm also talking about health care reform. Sure, of the 50 million without insurance, 40 million can afford to buy their own, but don't, and there's also about 12 million illegal aliens in there too, but those are just facts. Democrats only want you to consider feelings, and that it feels good to be like Canada, where people who live outside the major cities have to wait a year, just to get an appointment with a specialist.

Sure, a lot of people will die needlessly. But after they're dead, they won't be costing us anything, so it will eventually lead to savings.

And at least we can feel that we're doing something, even if we're just making something worse.

Because that's what being a Democrat is all about.

So in closing, I'd like to say to the people of America: You're screwed.