Point-Counterpoint: The CIA Goes Down

TEKTAK- Greetings Earthlings. It's time for a long delayed edition of "Point/Counterpoint." From the right, I'm Tektak F. Mechanoid.

SNOTGLOB- And from the Left I'm Snotglob T. Mutant.

TEKTAK- Our first topic is the Central Intelligence Agency. Word is buzzing that the Langley Virginia branch office of the New York Times is looking at a Special Prosecutor appointed by the White House to turn over rocks from everything from interrogation to assassination and CIA officials may face criminal indictments and even jail time.

SNOTGLOB- It's about time that someone brought those fascist murdering thugs to justice.

TEKTAK- Snotglob, you ignorant hermaphrodite slut. What the hell are you talking about? Are you calling them fascists who murder, or that they're murdering fascists?

SNOTGLOB- Fascists who murder.

TEKTAK- And what's the logic behind that declaration?

SNOTGLOB- The Dick Cheney executive death squad, and that they lied about it to Nancy Pelosi. If that doesn't make you a fascist and a murderer I don't know what does.

TEKTAK- Then you really don't know what does. First, the program wasn't under Dick Cheney, that's another delusion that dribbled out of Seymour Hersh's ass. Second, the program never got beyond the planning phase. Third, the CIA's charter states that it only has to inform congress of actual running operations, not pie in the sky plans.

SNOTGLOB- Oh, there you go again, citing facts to prove your point. I'm not talking about facts, I'm talking about how things feel, and when they showed that Nancy Pelosi was lying about not knowing about water-boarding, they hurt her feelings. They need to be punished for that.

TEKTAK- And national security be damned?

SNOTGLOB- Of course. They must be crushed for daring to challenge Pelosi's political posturing with facts. If it causes terrorists to escape and kill some Americans, it's all for the greater good of Democrats having absolute power.

TEKTAK- Your logic fascinates me.

SNOTGLOB- Thank you.

TEKTAK- I consider this situation the definition of irony. For years, Democrat supporters in the CIA have been leaking information and blowing operations to embarrass the Bush administration and get Democrats into power, and now that the Democrats are in power they are going to throw the CIA to the wolves.

SNOTGLOB- If the CIA was so intelligent they should have seen it coming.

TEKTAK- That's the most rational thing you've said in your whole life.

SNOTGLOB- I'm just impressing you a lot today. Will you stop being a right wing fascist?

TEKTAK- Not as long as I still have some functioning brain-circuits. That's all for now, and keep watching the skies because we're watching you, though some don't understand it.

No comments: