The Assassination Bureau

Greetings puny Earthlings. Let's take a gander at what's been happening lately on your puny little little planet.

Congress is currently shitting kittens about getting word that the CIA had a program to assassinate Al Qaida leaders, and are screaming that the CIA is lying to them again after someone in congress leaked word of that program to their friends in the media.

Now I must say that I too am angry at the CIA, but for different reasons than congressional Democrats.

I'm angry with the CIA for never getting this program past the planning stage.

I mean come on, we're talking about Al Qaida leaders, the people who send planes into buildings, suicide bombers into crowds, mortars into schoolyards, and behead people with glee.

If your sense of morality thinks it's bad to gun down those men like rabid dogs in order to save the lives of the innocent, then you have no right to complain about the ethics of others.

Plus, I have no problem with the CIA not telling Congress about that plan, for 2 reasons.

1. SECURITY: The CIA is a mess of leaks even on a good day. If I want to find out what's happening, I just look up the New York Times. This leakiness gets exponentially worse when congress gets involved, because it has the added element of political posturing and profiteering in the mix.

2. PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY: I tell the shapeshifting operatives of my Intergalactic Assassination Bureau that there are some things I need not know. I tell them who to eliminate, but I don't put anything down on paper, and leave the details to them, because there are some things that folks really don't need to know, or should want to know. Sometimes to protect people from bastards, you have to be a bigger, yet more discriminating, bastard, and a lot of politicians don't have the stones to handle that, so it's best to leave them out of the equation.

Of course Congress isn't really concerned with national security, or they'd be listening to my advice. They're concerned with neutering the CIA even further as revenge for daring to embarrass Queen Nancy Pelosi, by exposing her lying, and endangering national security for short-term personal political gain.

Keep watching the skies, because we're watching you.

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