Setting My Record Straight


(Obama's Green Jobs Czar)

Hello comrades in the great and glorious revolution that will transform the festering shithole of the United States of Amerikkka into a true socialist utopia free from the terrors of free speech, health care choice, or personal independence.

Damn, why did I blurt that out?

I mean it's what I believe, but Obama told me to deny what I believe and hope that the corporations boycotting Glenn Beck will get him to stop talking about me... Oh, wait a minute, I'm stuck in Vox Poplar's patented stainless steel tube of truth. Which renders me incapable of any lying or denying.

Shit, do you ever clean this thing? It smells like ass in here.

I shouldn't have had that veggie burrito for lunch.

Well, since I won't be getting out until I lay some truth on you, I better get started.

You're probably wondering how a guy whose background with radicals, paranoids, and racists prevents him from getting a job at the post office could not only get in the same room as the president, but be given a job with a $30 billion budget.

Well, the answer is simple.

Obama told the Secret Service to let me pass.

It's the only way I could get in. Come on, I think the US government was behind 9/11, that should put me on every security watch list in the country, but in the Obama administration, it puts me in charge of your future.

Now you're probably wondering why Obama told the Secret Service to back off on me.

Well, this answer is simple too.

George Soros told Rahm Emmanuel to tell Barack Obama to tell the Secret Service to let me be.

Which brings me to why George Soros wants me, and people like me, whose only experience is sucking money out of a country we hate to tell everyone everyone how bad this shithole country sucks.

This is a simple answer too.

Soros is a very rich man with many rich friends. They hope to make billions off of trading bogus "Carbon Credits," suck up more billions in "stimulus" and "green job" subsidies for windmills that will never provide enough power, pass off their health insurance costs to the state, have their losses bailed out by the government, while also profiting from the financial chaos incompetent and corrupt people like those who run the Democratic Party will inevitably cause.

So you see, while I may be a communist, I will be making a bunch of wealthy oligarchs even richer.

Now will you let me out of this fucking tube!

1 comment:

cmblake6 said...

Superb! Absolutely superb!